NXT TakeOver: New Orleans Predictions

Another year, another swath of predictions for WWE’s biggest shows.  I could write some soliloquy on the grandeur of the weekend, or the growth of NXT since last year’s flagship TakeOver, but let’s skip all that fluff and get straight to business, shall we?

NXT NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP

6-MAN LADDER MATCH

EC3 vs. Adam Cole vs. Lars Sullivan vs. Velveteen Dream vs. Ricochet vs. Killian Dain

What do you get for the promotion that has everything?

MORE CHAMPIONSHIPS!

In addition to the 382 titles currently circulating around the Raw and Smackdown rosters, NXT feels like its lagging behind.  That’s the only explanation for William Regal’s institution of yet another hunk of gold.

I get it.  There’s no “midcard” titles to speak of, so anyone who’s not in the NXT Championship picture has nothing to fight for but pride and cake, but did we really need yet another title?  I totally get that the U.K. Title can really only be contested by European-bred wrestlers (Brexit notwithstanding, apparently), but the roster is far too thin to start splitting up competitors by region.

And yet here its, and here we go.  And to NXT’s credit, their roster—particularly for this match—is stacked.  When the least-auspicious name on this list is arguably Killian Dain, you know you’ve got some serious talent vying for this inaugural win.

You could make a case for just about everyone here.  Adam Cole (baybay!) winning the title would give the Undisputed Era a solid stack of gold to back up their dominance of the roster.  Velveteen Dream is almost due for a title run of some kind considering how popular he’s become.  Lars Sullivan clearly has all the support of the people behind the scenes and looks groomed to be NXT’s next big monster.  Ricochet will be the standout in this match as his reputation has clearly preceded him.  It’ll be hard work to prove himself to anyone who (for some reason) hasn’t seen a match of his yet.  I assume he’ll take on the “Jeff Hardy” role in this match.

Killian Dain isn’t from North America, so he’s disqualified (sorry, mate).

Which brings me to Derrick Batema—err, uh—EC3.  The Impact Wrestling standout is destined for superstardom in WWE, and this could be a perfect way to kickoff a run that cements him as the obnoxious heel to beat.  If you wanna make Ricochet a star, have him win this match.  If you wanna make two stars, have EC3 win this match so Ricochet can beat him later after a long and nasty feud.

SHOULD WIN: EC3
WILL WIN: EC3

NXT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

DUSTY RHODES TAG TEAM CLASSIC TOURNAMENT FINAL

TRIPLE-THREAT TAG TEAM MATCH

NXT Tag Team Champions Undisputed Era (Adam Cole & Kyle O’Reilly) vs. The Authors of Pain (Akam & Rezar w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Roderick Strong & WWE United Kingdom Champion Pete Dunne

Okay, so to be clear, the winners here get the Dusty Cup as well as the NXT Tag Team Championship.

All I can say is, if Adam Cole somehow manages to survive the 6-man ladder match and this bout, he’s officially the new Iron Man of WWE (which is why this match will probably open the show).

It’s pretty obvious at this point that AOP are destined for the main roster, so I’m going to go ahead and rule them out as possible winners (though they may take the pin on their way out to protect the other two teams).  That leaves us with Adam Cole (filing in for the injured Bobby Fish) and Kyle O’Reilly or Strong and Dunne.

While watching Strong and Dunne’s chemistry slowly deteriorate over the next few months could be fun, it’s far more comfortable to have Undisputed Era retain.  They feel much more like a cohesive unit, which means anyone that beats them cough—War Machine—cough looks much better than if they had simply dismantled a slapped-together (albeit friggin awesome) team like Strong and Dunne.

SHOULD WIN: Roderick Strong & Pete Dunne
WILL WIN: Undisputed Era (Adam Cole & Kyle O’Reilly)

UNSANCTIONED MATCH

Tommaso Ciampa vs. Johnny Gargano

I’m probably not alone in saying this is the match I’m most looking forward to on this entire card.

If NXT was looking for its own Daniel Bryan, they found it in Johnny Gargano.  I’m not sure there’s ever been a wrestler more over with the fans in NXT than Johnny Wrestling.  It was initially frustrating to see there was no payoff after Ciampa’s beatdown of Johnny last year.  But, as always, NXT proved they knew what they were doing by holding him back and bringing out the Psycho Killer when we least expected it.

I don’t expect this match to be the masterpiece that was Gargano vs. Almas from the last TakeOver, but it will probably be the match we remember for its brutality moreso than athleticism.

I personally hope we get to watch these two spend about fifteen minutes beating the unholy hell out of each other.  The match is unsanctioned, so that may be WWE’s way of letting its audience know this is gonna get messy.

I have to believe Triple H is too smart to let someone like Gargano go to the main roster at the height of his popularity (though he may not have a choice).  Nobody on the current NXT roster comes close to having the kind of fan support Gargano has garnered over the last year.

But how much would they hate…I mean hate Ciampa if he sent their hero packing for good?

SHOULD WIN: Tomaso Ciampa
WILL WIN: Johnny Gargano

NXT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP

NXT Women’s Champion Ember Moon vs. Shayna Baszler

I’ll be honest, as great as Ember Moon is, it’s been a tough transition from the sheer spectacle of Asuka’s undefeated reign as Women’s Champion.  I don’t envy anyone who was tasked with filling those shoes.

That said, Shayna Baszler is exactly what this women’s division needs to help everyone shine.

In sharp contrast to the main roster’s former UFC star, Shayna has no problems turning full heel and letting the crowd know she couldn’t care less what they think about her.  That is the kind of self-serving personality that will allow heels and faces alike to stand up and make their mark against her.

It’s been difficult to get invested in this division because of the lack of distinctive personalities in it.  Most women fall into two categories: the plucky upstart, and the tough powerhouse.  Peyton Royce, Billie Kay, and Nikki Cross are a few exceptions, but by and large there’s been little opportunity for new faces to be anything but unremarkable.

Shayna has a chance to change all that by being something the fans haven’t seen before.  Not only can we established characters for anyone that comes to face her, but whoever knocks her down to take her title gains instant credibility.

SHOULD WIN: Shayna Baszler
WILL WIN: Shayna Baszler

NXT CHAMPIONSHIP

NXT Champion Andradé “Cien” Almas w/ Zelina Vega vs. Aleister Black

If there has ever been a physical representation of the difference in tone between NXT and the main roster, it’s Aleister Black.  If you took Bray Wyatt and sucked out all the campy BS, you’d have Aleister Black’s laid-back cousin.  Whereas other “goth” personas have relied on heavy imagery and loquacious personas, Black’s entire aura is conveyed in his silence and demeanor.  His feud with Velveteen Dream was built not on what was said, but on what Dream wanted him to say.

Meanwhile, Almas has had to rely on Zelina Vega to get his messages across—which is great for anybody watching at home.  If the powers that be insist on keeping the title on Almas, Vega is the perfect scapegoat.

But that begs the question: assuming Aleister Black isn’t the one to wrest the title off Almas’ waist, who else on the NXT roster could?

SHOUDL WIN: Aleister Black
WILL WIN: Andradé “Cien” Almas

Wrestlemania 33 Predictions

While it's difficult to keep my inner Mojo Rawley hyped for wrestling year-round, it's an annual tradition for me to dust off the keyboard and break down the Wrestlemania card.  Call it a dirty habit, but here are my predictions for Wrestlemania 33.

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

WWE Cruiserweight Champion Neville vs. Austin Aries

No truer words will I write than how much of a damn shame it is to see this match relegated to the Wrestlemania Kick-Off show.  You could argue that even being on the Kick-Off show makes this part of Wrestlemania, but honestly, when your main card is four hours long, it's hard to justify why you'd take two of your most talented performers and make them the opening bout while many fans are still filing into the arena.

Neville has improved leaps and bounds as the headlining heel for WWE's rebirthed Cruiserweight division.  Sure, he scowls pretty much all the time, his promos tend to border on repetitious, and his voice never really leaves that tone reminiscent of a sniveling brat who's going to get you--oh, he's going to get you, but both his character and in-ring work is much more interesting now that there's something at stake.

Austin Aries did an admirable and entertaining job keeping himself relevant behind the commentary table, but like many fans I felt a huge relief at seeing him return to in-ring competition.  He lends 205 Live some much-needed star power and while we all loved listening to Noam Dar recite Alicia Fox's name every week, Aries finally gives fans of the Curiserweight division a full-fledged character to cling to.

While I would never expect WWE to consider the Cruiserweight Championship a "main event"-caliber match, given the right opportunity, this could be the encounter we're all talking about Monday morning.  Being on the Kick-Off show not only means less exposure for both men, but increases the probability of intrusive "commercial" breaks and time constraints.

It's hard to say who will win.  Keeping Neville as Champion and allowing Aries to chase him is a surefire way to keep fans glued to the WWE Network.  Letting Aries capture the title not only gives "The Greatest Man that Ever Lived" his first Wrestlemania Moment (TM), but allows for Neville to slide down the card to tango with lesser-known talent while Aries' charisma plays off new stars who haven't had a chance to flex their creative muscle.

I'm personally hoping for the latter.

WHO WILL WIN: Austin Aries

WHO SHOULD WIN: Austin Aries

SMACKDOWN WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

WWE Smackdown Women's Champion Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya vs. Carmella vs. Naomi

"Divas Revolution!" we said!  "Give Divas a chance!" we said!  And WWE heard us...almost.  While Raw was busy botching Bayley's rise to main-roster stardom (more on that later), Smackdown Live basically decided to throw up its hands and revert back to the 2005 solution of throwing every eligible woman in a match for one belt because everyone wins first place.

It's a shame, too, because I don't think there can be any argument that Alexa Bliss has been the most entertaining part of the Smackdown's Women's Division.  Even with Naomi's brief reign as Champion earlier this year, the real exciting aspect of her victory was that she had now officially joined a division that had only gotten better with time.  Becky Lynch is the obvious fan favorite, but it's hard to discount the talent of a veteran like Natalya or the athleticism of Alexa.  As a character, Bliss is the most intriguing woman on the roster.  Her promos have improved immensely since making the move up to Smackdown.  Her expressions both while on the mic and in-match are so spot-on, she's one of the few wrestlers that can tell you a story without saying a word.

Oh, and did I mention Mickie James is here, too?  Say what you want about the lack of depth on the Smackdown roster at large: this women's division is stacked.

There are no storylines about someone stealing someone else's boyfriend or bubble gum or hairbrushes or whatever it is women get upset about in WWE's 1950's view of the fairer sex.  For the most part, the friction between these women centers around their desire to be Champion, and WWE should be commended for that.

Alexa should retain her title, giving the rest of the roster a chance to chase her for it and giving fans even more of what has helped make this division must-watch television.  However, there's always the looming spectacle of hometown girl Naomi returning from injury to win the title on wrestling's biggest stage.  WWE has a track record of keeping stars humble in their own stomping grounds, but given how organic this return has been for Naomi, the story practically writes itself.

It's a shame that--if history is any indication--throwing half a dozen performers into a single match rarely results in the kind of mat classics we'll be talking about for years to come.  For all the strides WWE has taken in presenting women's wrestling as a legitimate counterpart to their male-dominated product, we still have a long way to go before we see the kinds of matches from the main roster that made these women so popular in NXT.

WHO WILL WIN: Naomi

WHO SHOULD WIN: Alexa Bliss

ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL

Finally: a Kick-Off match that probably belongs on the Kick-Off show!  Was that so hard?

All the usual suspects are here: you've got your traditional "No way you'll eliminate me" big-men like Big Show and Braun Stroman, your meandering mid-carders like Mojo Rawley and Apollo "Smile and Wave" Crews, and your "don't count me out" underdogs like Sami Zayn.

Oh, Sami Zayn.  You beat long-time rival Kevin Owens on Raw just for the opportunity to be in this match while everyone seem to be entering themselves without a second throught.  You might even win.  It's clear Vince McMahon has a bulging, billion-dollar man-crush on Stroman, so that's way more likely, but we can all live vicariously through you, you scrappy everyman, and hope that by some miracle you come out the victor.  You carry all our hopes and dreams on your pale, optimistic shoulders.

Much like the Smackdown Women's Championship match, this will be anything but a classic.  There's only one battle royal with any kind of tension or flow, and that' the Royal Rumble.  What makes the Rumble works is that the entrants are slowly trickled into the match, leaving the crowd sitting with rapt attention as they wonder who be next to walk down that ramp and leaving the wrestlers in the ring with an opportunity to tell a story (albeit an abridged one) before someone new joins the fray.

Starting the match with twenty some-odd wrestlers in the ring and watching as they all awkwardly attempt to look equally important leaves fans waiting to see who the final two will be and not caring about much else.

But does a victory in this battle royal really means anything?  No disrespect to the memory and legacy of Andre the Giant, but I challenge to WWE to follow through on the implied promise that victory provides.

Winning the Royal Rumble gets you a main-event slot at Wrestlemnia (unless you're Randy Orton, but more on that later).  Winning the Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match got you a shot at the World Championship virtually anytime you wanted.

Winning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal gets you...the privilege of being billed as the winner of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.  Seriously.  This is the fourth iteration of this match.  Past winners include Cesaro, Big Show, and Baron Corbin.  You could argue that Corbin's victory last year allowed him to contend for the WWE Championship in 2016, but he'd probably have wound up there anyway out of sheer necessity given the thinness of Smackdown's roster.  Can you really say any of these men would be anywhere else in their respective careers had it not been for their battle royal wins?

It's not so much about who will win this match, but what that will mean for the winner going forward.  Don't waste this, WWE.  Don't toy with my emotions.  Not again.

WHO WILL WIN: Braun Stroman

WHO SHOULD WIN: Sami Zayn

TRIPLE-THREAT TAG TEAM LADDER MATCH

WWE RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

WWE Raw Tag Team Champions The Club (Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson) vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Cesaro & Sheamus)

Okay.  The misty fog of the Kick-Off show is behind us, and we're now into the Show of Shows, the Granddaddy of Them All, the Showcase of the Immortals.

I've mentioned before how underwhelming The Club's WWE run has been thus far.  The powers that be took a step to correcting that by putting the Raw Tag Team Championship around their waists, but reverted back to their predictable, indy-smashing ways by allowing the internet darlings to be outsmarted at nearly every turn by pretty much every other tag team on the roster.

This will be a decent match in the same way the latest Harry Potter film was a decent movie:  It may not win any awards, but it gets the job done.  None of the participants are well-suited for a ladder match besides Big Cass who could grab the belts from the third rung without fully extending his arm.  There's no death-defying high-flyer to perform some inhuman feat of suicidal proportions.  It's not the kind of match we'll be telling our children about the way we tell them about TLC II from Wrestlemania X-Seven.

As with most of the champions on this show, The Club should retain their titles and let the rest of the division chase them.  But what division is there, really?

A lot of fans have come to love Cesaro and Sheamus.  I am not one of those fans.  They still look awkward together and lack the kind of opposing chemistry that other random tandems have had in the past such as Kane and Daniel Bryan.  Their antics feel forced and I get the sense that both would rather be doing just about anything else if they didn't need this job so much.

Then there's Enzo and Cass.  It hurts me to say I am actually sick of this team.  They were by far my favorite tag act in NXT, but that was because you only saw them once or twice a month.  Having every single promo start with that same Certified G speech has made the act tired.  It's great for a live crowd, but from home the two look like a one-trick pony, and that pony has seen much better days.

It's possible WWE will give the northeast natives the title reign they never got in NXT, but with rumors circulating that Big Cass is being primed for main-event singles status, it's much more likely they will continue to be fodder for others going into the post-Wrestemania season.

The true crime is that these titles mean so little because the division itself lacks any measure of depth, especially with your most popular team relegated to "hosting" duties for the night.  Here's hoping WWE has a trick or two up its sleeve to rejuvenate what is fast becoming the least exciting part of Raw.

WHO WILL WIN: The Club (Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson)

WHO SHOULD WIN: The Club (Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson)

WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

WWE Intercontinental Champion Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

The Intercontinental Championship saw a return to prominence in 2016 around the waist of "Comeback Kid" The Miz.  Meanwhile, Dean Ambrose managed to reach the top of the proverbial mountain by winning the WWE Championship, but lost it to AJ Styles and nobody's really complaining about that.

Baron Corbin has had a year of growth, going from NXT rookie to Smackdown's main event scene, and finally slipping back down to the mid-card to feud with Dean over one of WWE's most prestigious belts.

Having two strong, established talents feuding over the belt makes the title mean something the way that John Cena helped restore the fledgling United States Championship to glory a year ago.  Letting Dean strut around with the IC strap is a classic case of letting the man make the title.

While I don't expect this to be the type of classic many Intercontinental title bouts are known for, I do think it has potential to be one of the more memorable matches of the night.  That depends a lot on how much time is granted and how "snug" the men decide to work.

Personally, I'd love to see Ambrose drop the title here and help Corbin become an even bigger star than he already is.  Corbin could have a great time squashing Smackdown Live's undercard, turning him into a true force of nature and elevating him back to top-tier status.

It also frees Ambrose up to do what he should've done a long time ago: turn heel.  I know what you're thinking: Smackdown's World Championship picture is already overstuffed with heel characters, and that doesn't look to change anytime soon with Cena being closer to the end of his career than the beginning, but that could all be solved by letting AJ Styles--a man whom fans already cheer regardless of how ruthless he becomes--truly be the "face" that runs the place.

WHO WILL WIN: Baron Corbin

WHO SHOULD WIN: Baron Corbin

WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

WWE United States Champion Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

I'm not even going to try to sugarcoat the fact that this is the match I am most looking forward to.  The story going in was built to perfection: "Best friends, better enemies," as WWE loves to say.  The chemistry between Owens and a Chris Jericho who refuses to age is undeniable.  Seriously.  The guy got the word "it" over.

From a storytelling, technical, and pure anticipation standpoint, my expectations are very high.  We are dealing with two absolute masters of their craft: men who understand ring and crowd psychology better than just about anybody else (they got us to care about a clipboard more than championships for God's sake).

I'd prefer if this match had been for the WWE Universal Championship.  Alas, WWE suffers from the syndrome of telling fans that even their best modern-day talent is but a shade weaker when basking in the brilliance of the much older stars of yesteryear.  Still, that United States Championship is the X-factor (no, not that X-Factor) in this match, since it means this about more than just good vs. evil.

Without the United States Championship, the story writes itself: Chris Jericho defeats selfish ex-best friend Kevin Owens in what may be Jericho's final match.  Or, perhaps Kevin Owens, in a dastardly show of smarts, outwits the hero Jericho in a desperate bid to redeem his loss of the coveted Universal Championship.

Whoever wins this match not only takes home bragging rights, but is saddled with the responsibility of carrying Raw's upper mid-card presumably through to Summerslam.

Even if Chris Jericho is the most beloved star on Raw, his job is clearly to help get the newer talent over.  He's been brilliant in this role opposite Kevin Owens, so much so that it likely goes over the fans heads.  Until Jericho's arrival, KO was getting cheered at every turn, no matter what lows he stooped to in order to become Universal Champion.  WWE wanted a true, cold-blooded heel, so they brought in Jericho to supplant Owens as the heel fans love to cheer.

Y2J was slowly putting the wheels into motion that would eventually make him the most popular star on the roster.  The List of Jericho, the phrase "stupid idiot", the word "it", any variation of his Gift of Jericho catchphrase: these all initially annoyed the crowd, but Jericho was actually beating the fans at their own game.  Rather than become a heel who got cheered, Y2J displayed deliberately ambiguous tendencies so he could replace Kevin Owens as the man we loved to hate.  It was hokey, it was silly, and it was brilliant, building to a perfect crescendo so that when Owens did finally turn on his best friend, the heat on KO was real.

There's no telling how long Jericho will stick around after 'Mania.  Dropping the title to Owens could lead to another few months of back and forth with Owens taking two out of three victories.  Keeping the title on Jericho could keep the feud going indefinitely and provide a real shock to fans when he is finally pinned.

Either way, I am in for the long haul.

WHO WILL WIN: Kevin Owens

WHO SHOUDL WIN: Kevin Owens

WWE RAW WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP

FATAL FOUR-WAY MATCH

WWE Raw Women's Champion Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

Much like the Smackdown Women's Championship picture, it's hard to look at this match and not lament what could've been.

Charlotte and Sasha not only provided a fantastic back-and-forth feud that showed mainstream fans what women's wrestling should be, it established Charlotte as the single best heel in either women's division.  Meanwhile, Bayley was making a slow-but-steady rise from NXT to Raw where she feuded with the sparse undercard.  Everything seemed primed for Bayley's inevitable victory to come at Wrestlemania, where she could dethrone the queen in the biggest spotlight.

Instead, that win came almost two months early on Raw.  Not all was lost, though, as the unavoidable rematch could be set for Wrestlemania, where the ultimate underdog faced down the dominant challenger, right?

Nope!

WWE once again clung to its "everyone is the best" mentality, throwing Sasha into the mix after The Boss pinned Bayley on Raw, and then did the same with Nia Jax so there would be at least one wrestler who is a clear heel in all of this.

It's not that Nia's a bad wrestler.  If nothing else, she adds a completely different dynamic to the match than the other competitors.  Unfortunately, as I've said, it shows a complete lack of focus and dedication on WWE's part when it comes to women's wrestling.

The division is too small to have true "qualifying" matches for a Wrestlemania title match à la the Royal Rumble, but if you're not going to do that, you should at least be building a storyline worthy of carrying two main sars into an epic confrontation at your biggest showcase.  It seemed like we were en route to that before WWE started pulling names out of a hat to add to this match.

Just like the Smackdown women's match, there's nothing poetic about this format.  Much of it will be spent getting two of the four competitors isolated to tell the main story and maybe coming up with a couple of interesting spots where all four women can interact simultaneously.  I'm not saying the match will be bad, but it's a far cry from the story they could have told if they'd kept it between the two stars with legit beef.

Of course, a Sasha Banks heel turn could make this a much more intriguing affair.

WHO WILL WIN: Charlotte Flair
WHO SHOULD WIN: Bayley

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Speaking of "legit beef," do any two stars have a bigger issue than AJ Styles and Shane McMahon?

That question's only half rhetorical, because this storyline is one of the more confusing ones.

After all, it was Shane that advocated for Styles as #1 Contender to Bray Wyatt's WWE Championship when Royal Rumble winner Randy Orton surrendered his own opportunity.  So why is it AJ takes his frustrations out on Shane when Orton suddenly changes his mind?

The build-up to this match has been very good with AJ cutting some of the best promos of his entire career and Shane doing a fine--if at times rickety--job as the reluctantly assertive authority figure.

Yes, it's a shame that after his incredible 2016, AJ wasn't destined to carry the WWE Championship into 'Mania, and yes, it's disappointing that we didn't get the AJ vs. Nakamura masterpiece we'd hoped for.  You probably won't get a 5-star classic from Shane O' Mac, but this match feels "big".

You'll get some crazy stunt from Shane, proving once again that he's the real Suicide.

One of fans' biggest concerns for AJ coming to WWE was that he wouldn't be able to hold his own on the mic.  But the "Phenomenal One's" feud with John Cena proved that Styles is no slouch when it comes to verbally lashing his opponents.  Add to that an in-ring repertoire that continues to defy his age, and you've got the man who just might be the greatest wrestler on the planet right now.

There are a few questions this match will have to answer post-'Mania.  What kind of condition will Shane be in and will he be able to resume his duties as Smackdown Live Commissioner?  Will AJ be in consideration for the WWE Championship if he can topple his boss?

I'm excited to see what kind of story these two can tell...and I hope AJ gets the Wrestlemania victory that eluded him last year.

WHO WILL WIN: AJ Styles

WHO SHOULD WIN: AJ Styles

NON-SANCTIONED MATCH

Triple H vs. Seth Rollins

It's been a rough couple years for Seth Rollins.  After missing last year's Wrestlemania due to a catastrophic knee injury, it looked like fate had drawn his number again in 2017 mere weeks before the big event.  The storyline between he and Triple H has been slowly built over the last year, and it'd be a shame to miss out on the payoff.  Thankfully, the wrestling gods seem to have cut "The Architect" some slack.

He may not be at 100%, but between Rollins' raw ability and Triple H's veteran instinct, I'd be surprised if this isn't one of the matches fans are talking about after the show is over.  Like Styles vs. Shane, don't expect a technical exhibition by any stretch.  It doesn't need to be.

You can trace the roots of this feud all the way back to Wrestlemania 31.  These men despise each other.  Even if Seth were at his best, I can't imagine we'd see anything resembling a wrestling match.  I don't want to see a wrestling match.  I want to see these two beat the hell out of each other by any means necessary.

It's a non-sanctioned match, which is a fancy of way of saying No Disqualification, so anything goes.  Most expect to see Samoa Joe interfere on Triple H's behalf--especially considering WWE's "Destroyer" isn't booked anywhere else on the card.  Rumors abound that Finn Bálor could make a surprise return to the ring to fend off the Samoan Submission Machine, but I don't think that makes a lot of sense.  Balor may dislike Triple H because everybody hates the boss, but Rollins is the one that put the Demon King out of action at Summerslam, so if anything seeing Rollins hobbling around on crutches is nothing but poetic justice.  A Bálor return on Monday's Raw could be incredible, but this match needs to be about the corporate machine and the renegade protégé.

I can't see a scenario where Triple H walks away with the victory.  They could drag the feud out to Summerslam where Seth might be fully recovered and able to carry a more complex match, but in the meantime you'll have a returning Bálor to deal with and a Samoan who should be in the title picture sooner than later.

Rollins recognizes the importance of staying in the public eye to keep himself relevant.  Missing two 'Manias in a row would mean having to build this feud up from scratch upon his return and working his way back into title contention.  Whether or not performing in this kind of match so soon after injury is good for his long-term health is a question only he can answer, but for WWE the question becomes what to do with Seth--and what he'll be capable of--once the match is over.

WHO WILL WIN: Seth Rollins
WHO SHOULD WIN: Seth Rollins

John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse

I've already explained ad nauseam my issues with John Cena's promo on the "go-home" edition of Smackdown Live.  The Miz and Maryse's Total Bellas spoofs have been great, and Miz himself has become a cornerstone of Smackdown every week.

Unfortunately, nobody's managed to explain just why Nikki Bella is in this match.  This goes back months ago to when Natalya and Nikki knocked over Maryse's makeup counter backstage during a scuffle, but that's it?  Okay, so we have the allegations that Nikki tried to block Maryse from getting a slot on Total Divas, but that was only made public after The Miz and John Cena had it out during the #1 Conteder Battle Royal a week or two prior.

Unlike some villains who get the "good to be bad" reaction, the Miz has done the best work of his career to become one of the most truly hated heels on Smackdown.  It's a shame it's all going to waste.  For every one of his scathing promos against the leader of the Cenation, all John does is say, "Hey, that was pretty funny!"  He's not intimidated or hurt at all by what The Miz says, and as many a great wrestler will tell you, if you shrug off your opponent's words and then beat them, you've beaten nobody.  Sure, Cena got riled up and Nikki was standing next to him with the kind of proud smile you get when you live vicariously through someone else, but the bottom line is these performers deserve better.  The Miz should be feuding for championship gold.  Nikki should be squaring off with Alexa Bliss or Becky Lynch for the Women's Championship in what is most likely her final match.  John Cena should be staring down the Deadman instead of becoming a tool to get social media a-buzzing.

I don't think anyone can doubt the night will end with Cena finally popping the question to Nikki in front of a stadium full of fans, the question that looms over this match is, does the match itself really matter?

How do we fix that?  Let Miz and Maryse win.  I know, crazy, right?  But hear me out: Maryse--through some trickery--manages to pin Nikki and steal the victory.  A crestfallen Nikki struggles to her feet as a recovering Cena helps her up, suddenly taking a knee and proposing.  You still get your Wrestlemania moment, but with the added bonus that while Cena and Nikki ride off into the sunset, The Miz and Maryse get bragging rights as the ones who sent them packing.  Everybody wins.

Of course, this is John Cena we're talking about, so just forget I said any of that.

WHO WILL WIN: John Cena & Nikki Bella

WHO SHOUDLD WIN: The Miz & Maryse

The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

If we're talking about pure storytelling, this match sits right behind Owens/Jericho as my most anticipated match of the night.

I'm not gonna discuss how old The Undertaker is or how much Roman Reigns has been shoved down our throats.  The internet has done a fantastic job of documenting that.  Instead, let's take our Smarky Caps off buy in for a minute.

You can argue that The Undertaker's matches don't mean quite as much since Brock Lesnar broke The Streak, but I beg to differ.  Before The Streak was over, how many of The Phenom's Wrestlemania matches were you legitimately excited for?  WWE didn't really start talking about The Undertaker's undefeated streak until Wrestlemania 21-ish against golden rookie Randy Orton.  That was 12 years ago.  Since then, the Deadman has faced Batista, Edge, Mark Henry, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and CM Punk before falling to Lesnar at Wrestlemania XXX.  These are great names, but with the exceptions of HBK's first bout, Triple H's second, and (on a very slim margin) Punk, did you really think any of these men were going to win?  The ending was rarely in doubt.

That all changed when the Streak ended.  The Undertaker can lose now, because there is less at stake.  Sure, we won't get the absolutely heart-stopping, earth-shattering, bed-wetting shock of seeing someone topple the hitherto undefeated Phenom, but a victory over the Deadman still means something.  If it didn't, why would Bray Wyatt and Shane McMahon have lost in their respective matches against the Demon From Death Valley?  WWE had to hodge-podge Shane into the role of Smackdown Commisioner because they still protect The Undertaker whenever possible.  That's a good thing for The Undertaker's legacy, and could be a great thing for Roman Reigns.

I never thought I'd say this, but I want to see Roman Reigns beat The Undertaker.

WWE is clearly grooming Roman to be the next face of the company, but "smart" fans should remember that there's a difference between being "the face" and being "a face."  Remember when Seth Rollins was WWE Champion for all those months?  That was before the brand split, which means there was no John Cena or AJ Styles to carry the "main" title the while much deserving stalwarts traded the secondary belt.  Rollins was a heel at the time and was still trusted to be the face of the company.

Why can't they do the same with Reigns?  Whether WWE tries to make Roman a face or heel, fans will react however they want, regardless.  So why not have Reigns--who screams "heel" form his look to his promos--finally become a true villain for the company?  Toppling the Deadman will solidify him as a man the fans love to hate, but now we have actual storylines to support us.  No longer will we be blaming Vince McMahon and the creative team for shoving Reigns down our throats.  Reigns would get actual heat for beating one of the most beloved stars in WWE history.

To me, there is no other way to go.  The Undertaker gains nothing by beating Reigns, but Reigns gains everything by ensuring victory.  Heel turns are tricky things, but if done right, it could be the stuff of legend.

WHO WILL WIN: Roman Reigns

WHO SHOULD WIN: Roman Reigns

WWE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

WWE Universal Champion Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar with Paul Heyman

I couldn't care less about this match.  Sorry, folks.  I should probably search for some redeeming quality here, but I can't find any.

Goldberg's last run should've been against someone like Roman Reigns, Kevin Owens, or Samoa Joe.  Instead, WWE destroyed Owens' tremendous title run to put Goldberg on top and then--in a sacrilege that can never be undone--had Goldberg literally run through the man that beat The Streak.

WWE often seems befuddled by the fact that its modern-day stars can't reach the level of popularity their predecessors did in the almighty Attitude Era.  They never stop to think that having a 50 year-old man who hasn't wrestled in 12 years return to decimate your 32 year-old world champion might make your roster look a little weak.

The WWE Universe was bound to grow tired of Goldberg in the same way you tire of seeing your aging, cantankerous grandfather at Christmas for more than fifteen minutes.  There's that initial spark of familiarity when he comes through the door and envelops everyone in awkward, overemotional embraces.  Perhaps he even brings you a trinket to show that his mind hasn't completely failed him even if you are clearly too old for Duplos; but after a while he lapses into the routine of telling you the same old stories and while you may have had an initial patience to politely smile and show him a faux enthusiasm, eventually you start to look for ways to gracefully distance yourself and find someone else to talk to.

Because nostalgia will only get you so far, fans soured on Goldberg for the same reason fans soured on Reigns and Cena: nobody likes an unbeatable hero.  Annihilating Brock once was bad enough, but aside from a single F-5 on Raw and Paul Heyman's consistently brilliant mic work, Lesnar hasn't looked this weak since losing to Goldberg at Wrestlemania XX.

I don't want either of these men as Universal Champion.  In fact, this match didn't need a championship at all to be interesting.  You could've kept the Universal Championship on Owens and built that feud with Jericho up even bigger (after all, the whole idea was that Owens wouldn't have held that title for so long had it not been for Y2J).  Lesnar vs. Goldberg is more about bragging rights than championships.  You could argue that having these behemoths warring over the Universal title adds some prestige to the newly minted belt, but does it really?

Goldberg looks about as enthused as a sloth at Woodstock to be holding the top prize on Raw.  Once you get past the entrance with the marching drums and the sparklers and the smoke and the pyro and the kicks and...*gasp*...and the...*huff*...all of the...

...give me a minute.

The point is you never hear Goldberg mention the fact that he's the Champion.  You never hear him tell Brock he'll never get the belt.  For his part, Brock is Brock and Heyman talks about how Brock is going to Brock you up at Brocklemania for the biggest payday in the Brockleverse.

And that's it.  No talk of prestige or wanting the title to prove you're the best; it's the 2017 equivalent of two grumpy old men arguing over whose lawn is greener long after they've stopped watering it.

If Goldberg wins, Brock beating the Streak was all for naught.  If Brock wins, we'll have to suffer through another six months of sporadic appearances and non-existent title defenses.  Presumably whoever's left standing will face the Reigns who will obviously be in contention after vanquishing The Undertaker earlier in the night, but can anyone say they are really looking forward to that?

WHO WILL WIN: Brock Lesnar

WHO SHOULD WIN: Brock Lesnar

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

WWE Champion Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

I compiled this match list from WWE's Wrestlemania card as posted on their official website in ascending order and while this is the match at the apparent top, it's hard to imagine Goldberg vs. Lesnar won't finish the show.  I'd expect to see Orton vs. Wyatt somewhere in the middle of the card, given that it hasn't received nearly as much fanfare as the Universal title match.

The story going in is...confusing.  Orton won the Royal Rumble, guaranteeing himself a match for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania.  That's usually all we need to know when it comes to this type of match, but it gets much, much weirder.

Being, at the time, a member of the Wyatt Family, Orton deferred his championship match, refusing to do battle with his apparent master.

O...kay...I guess?  It makes sense from a character standpoint, but it left many people wondering why WWE would book Orton to win the Rumble if not to follow through with the title match stipulation.  From a reality standpoint, that's a slap in the face to the 29 other Superstars that would give their uncle's left testicle to be in the main event at WWE's Grandaddy of 'em All.  But...fine.  Okay.  We'll go with it.

A sort of mini-Rumble battle royal was hastily booked on Smackdown to determine a new #1 Contender and it was won by...well...it was won by AJ Styles, despite WWE wanting us all to believe it was a dead tie between the Phenomenal One and Wyatt's version of Judas Iscariot,  Luke Harper. The alleged tie called for a one-on-one follow-up match that ended with Styles beating Harper and cementing himself as the rightful contender to Bray's title.

So the 'Mania main event is set, right?  Right?!

Wrong.

Just as it seemed we'd see AJ Styles walk into the biggest match on the biggest stage of his career, who should turn up but that pesky Viper, Randy Orton, insisting now that he's had a change of heart and would very much like to fulfill his obligations as Royal Rumble winner and face Wyatt at Wrestlemania.

Long story short, Orton beats AJ in yet another qualifying match, leaving Styles to feud with Shane McMahon while Orton sets his sights on WWE gold and Wrestlemania glory.

I'm not really sure what the point of the swerve was.  Why would Orton refuse a title match, only to later accept?  Even if you wanted to play it out that Orton was going to be a good follower and let Wyatt beat him at Wrestlemania only to change his mind during the match, why would Orton simply throw away the opportunity to appear at WWE's grandest spectacle if his plan the entire time was to do so anyway?

I guess this should harken back to classic double-cross feuds like Triple H and Batista for Wrestlemania 21, but the difference there is that we got to see the slow burn of Batista's frustrations with Triple H's ego and the implosion of Evolution.  With Orton vs. Bray, Mr. RKO simply disappeared for a couple of weeks without warning and then reappeared just as Styles had claimed his spot against Wyatt.  It was never played up that Orton was frustrated with Bray.  We never saw him lurking backstage, eavesdropping on Bray's conversations, and mischievously winking at the camera unbeknownst to the Eater of Worlds.  He just shows up like a child who was bored until he saw you playing with his favorite toy.

And if that wasn't confusing enough, Orton shows up on the Titantron sitting in Wyatt's familiar rocking chair in the middle of a shack that's purported to be the resting place of Sister Abigail's remains.  I'll just...let that sink in.

He's sitting in a cabin in the woods...that was apparently built...over a dead woman's grave.

Wrestling.

So the next thing you expect is that Orton's going to reveal that Sister Abigail is not dead, that the remains under the house are gone, and that Orton is bringing Abigail to Wrestlemania to help him conquer his former master.

Well, no.  That's absurd.  This is wrestling, after all.

Orton just burns it down.  Just burns the house down.  I mean, I know this is wrestling and we're supposed to "buy in", but there are obviously people around, right?  You can clearly see the spotlights from cameras reflecting off him as he's standing outside a structure he's just doused with gasoline.  Nobody tries to stop him and tell him that this sort of thing is illegal in most parts of the free world.  He just burns it down and allows himself to be filmed while doing it.  Meanwhile, Bray has a nervous breakdown in the ring as he watches.

I will say that it was very cool seeing Bray in a vulnerable place.  No longer the laughing, calculating, charismatic evangelist, he became something of a broken man (sorry, Matt Hardy), rocking in the fetal position with visible tears streaming down his face.  This is why promos like John Cena's against The Miz are way less interesting than this preposterous prank: when the audience is led to believe that this once invulnerable man can now be harmed, the stakes get raised.

I want to tell you what happened next, but frankly, I'm not really clear on what went down.  Bray returned to the scene of the crime and proceeded to cover himself in the ashes of Sister Abigail, suggesting that he became more powerful by doing so.  Then he cloned Erick Rowan and had a small army of men in sheep masks attack and restrain Orton backstage while Wyatt waved around something that looked vaguely like a Crayola crucifix.  Finally, Randy got a crucifix of his own (one with the crayon sharpener built in the back) and cast some kind of curse on the sacred ground of Sister Abigail's grave and that...did...something...I think...I'm not sure.  I don't know.  I'm don't think even WWE knows what's going on at this point aside from the fact that this all has to do with having a wrestling match on Sunday.

Okay, so one of these guys has to walk out with the belt, and I really want it to be Bray.  Orton's done it all in WWE; the guy's a 12-time World Champion and I don't see that legacy getting better or worse based on what happens here.  Bray, on the other hand, has risen up time and again just to get squashed by the Cenation, the Ambrose Asylum, and the Reigns Train.  That last one's not an official WWE moniker, but that's what we're calling it because the "Roman Empire" makes me want to puke a coliseum.  Going over on at least one of WWE's top stars could ensure he doesn't disappear from the title picture anytime soon, although I hope that picture becomes a lot less Evil Dead-sy going forward.

WHO WILL WIN: Bray Wyatt
WHO SHOULD WIN: Bray Wyatt

Closing Thoughts

Wrestlemania 33 marks the 30 years since the event that put Wrestlemania on the mainstream map, but I'm not sure we'll be looking back on this year's annual extravaganza with the same heartwarming nostalgia.  There are some great matches in store, but I'm not sure any have the potential to be the next Savage/Steamboat.  There are some spectacles on the table, but I doubt they'll be as epic as Hogan slamming Andre.

If nothing else, Wrestlemania 33 can be looked at as a tribute to lost opportunities.  From prematurely pulling the trigger on Bayley's title reign to the debacle that has been some of the main event storylines, it's hard to be emotionally invested when looming over your shoulder is the specter of what might have been.

Then there's the glaring omissions.  Why is the Smackdown Tag Team Championship not on the line this year?  You just had the Usos beat American Alpha for the gold and now you're leaving them completely off the card?  For shame, WWE.  For shame.

There's the rumors that the master of the Broken Universe, Matt Hardy, may return to WWE with Brother Nero in tow, but considering the two are your current Ring of Honor Tag Team Champions and have a ladder match for the titles versus the Young Bucks 24 hours prior, I doubt we'll see that quick of a turnaround.

My hopes for Wrestlemania 33 are the same as my hopes for the last several Wrestlemanias: that success here will allow WWE to push their new generation of stars so we can unchain ourselves from the wrestlers of days gone by.  There's potential for us to look back on this show as the break-out moment for many performers, but only if WWE follows through.  Until then, those Wrestlemania moments are just that: a moment.

Cena's Smackdown Promo Was Not Okay

I enjoy pro wrestling for the same reason I enjoy most other forms of entertainment: suspending my disbelief and allowing myself to be told a story.  I enjoy speculating, whether we're talking about who will wind up sitting on the Iron Throne, or whether or not Luke Skywalker will survive the next Star Wars movie.

The problem with wrestling is that the lines between reality and storytelling are often blurred beyond distinction.  This often provides a thrill to fans who feel like they are getting a behind-the-scenes look at their favorite athletic opera, but it also provides several uncomfortable moments where perhaps ignorance would be preferred.  It's a double-edged sword: reality can either add some much-needed edge to a feud, or it can detract from it to the point where the viewer becomes jarred out of the experience.

John Cena's promo against the Miz and Maryse on Smackdown Live this past Tuesday was an instance of being uncomfortably jarred.  It wasn't just the idea of losing engagement with the story.  The promo actually left me confused and angry about WWE, wrestling, and the media in general; and I wonder if I'm alone.

I've said this before: I was a casual wrestling fan who would often watch over my brother's shoulder as he took in the antics of Steve Austin every week.  Then along came a gorgeous, fiery redhead who floored me when she started doing moonsaults off the top rope.  I'd never seen a woman do anything like that before, and I was compelled to watch every week to see what WWE Hall of Famer Lita would do next.

Fast forward almost 20 years, and the landscape of women's wrestling is vastly different.  The women's rosters on both Raw and Smackdown showcase talent who not only portray the physical beauty that has become a staple of WWE's female division, but also possess a power absent from the vast majority of performers who have come before.  Trish and Lita were fantastic because they not only had natural charisma and chemistry, but both worked hard to become the best wrestlers they could be.  Yes, they were followed by the likes of Mickie James and AJ Lee, but those women are often overlooked not for lack of skill, but because they were the outliers in a Divas locker room filled with models that were being forced into a world they didn't understand.

Today's women Superstars have a clear desire to be here.  Sasha Banks, Charlotte Flair, Alexa Bliss, Paige, Emma, Bayley, and Natalya are some examples of the absolute best wrestlers--regardless of gender--in the world.  They exude a raw athleticism and a passion for their craft.  Gone are the days of "Bra and Panties" matches.  Farewell to the woman who was simply a valet for a male star.  Women are now required to be multifaceted assets to a roster where everyone is a superstar.

So it's upsetting when someone the caliber of John Cena appears to be stuck in 2005.

John Cena's promo was good.  He hit all the right points and provided a solid rebuttal for Miz's Total Bellas spoof.  But there were two specific aspects of his appearance last night that left me questioning WWE's stance on the "women's revolution," and whether or not we as a society have really turned a corner when it comes to gender equality on a stage like WWE.

The first thing I noticed was Cena smacking Nikki's backside before they got into the ring to stare down Miz and Maryse.

This is something relatively minor, especially considering the two are an item in real life, but it felt out of place.  In the early 2000's, Cena was sometimes paired with ladies like Maria Kanellis or Mickie James in awkward romantic storylines, and he'd often attempt to add some levity with a playful, flirty slap on the behind.  It sounds like a flimsy excuse, but that was a different time; and if that bothers you, go back and watch 75% of WWE's much-lauded "Attitude Era" and tell me you don't cringe at what your younger self was willing to accept as entertaining.

I'm not here to judge what Cena and Nikki do in their private lives.  The problem is, slapping a woman's behind on a national stage can be seen at the very least as unprofessional and at worst disrespectful.  I don't see James Ellsworth slapping Carmella's backside before her matches, or Rusev fondling Lana before his bouts.  Regardless of what you think of these performers individually, the idea is to present everyone as formidable.  When you do things like this in front of an entire arena, it allows fans to think that Nikki Bella--an accomplished athlete who has worked incredibly hard to shake the stigma of being simply "eye candy"--is nothing more than "John Cena's girlfriend".

That's a problem for anyone straining to look at the women's division as equal to the men.  Women, in this light, are mere trophies for their spouses.  I could talk about how that lends a boat-load of credibility to Miz's argument, but this goes beyond storylines or vignettes.  Miz himself presents Maryse as his true other half.  She is equal parts beauty, brains, and power.  He is not throwing her in a bikini and parading her around simply to get a crowd reaction.

The bigger question is, would someone treat Sasha Banks the same way if she were in an inter-gender tag match?  How about Charlotte or Becky Lynch?  And if it's not okay for them, why is it okay for Nikki?  These may not be questions that are screaming to be answered, but whether we as the audience realize it or not, this is what's being communicated to us when we watch.

It gets worse as Cena's tirade goes on.  At one point he calls Miz a "pussy."

To say that this is not okay is a huge understatement.  It has nothing to do with the show being PG or the fact that Cena gets away with things the rest of the roster would be fired for.  When the face of your company gets into a verbal contest and decides to resort to this kind of schoolyard bullying, it makes the entire company look bad.

Cena had just gotten done talking about Nikki's accomplishments, hailing the women's revolution as a showcase for women to prove they could be just as powerful and athletic as the men.  Then he resorts to using a derogatory feminine term to describe another man.  I'm sorry, Mr. Cena, but that completely undermines everything that you and  your employer claim to stand for.

The worst part is that Nikki and Maryse are standing right there, and nobody so much as glances at Cena to maybe explain that what he just said is not okay.  Cena doesn't seem to register it himself, but follows up with "You two are cowards."  So now we have a derogatory feminine term associated with the word "coward" which, by proxy, might imply to some that women have less fortitude than men.

I'm not saying this is what John Cena intended, but you see how it all starts to add up?  In fact, the most shocking part of it all for me is that Cena is usually so articulate.  He does a fantastic job representing the new-era wholesome ideals of WWE.  So when he resorts to this kind of language, it's jarring and disappointing.

Then there are the fans.  There's an initial pop that may be more from shock than assent, then a bit of a lull as I'm sure parents attempted to shield their children from it and began to question why their child's hero was suddenly so vulgar.  Some fans even tried to get a "pussy" chant going, but thankfully seemed to think better of it.

It makes me wonder if the women's revolution in our society has really come as far as we think it has.  At an NXT event last year, I watched Bayley and Alexa Bliss square off in a great match, but the entire time I listened to two fans behind me talk about how "hot" both women were.  It wasn't a passing comment: it permeated the entire match.

I'm not here to tell you these women aren't beautiful or that I haven't made those comments myself.  But there's an underlying understanding that while these women are some of the most attractive in the world, they are also strong enough to break most men in half.  The two concepts are not mutually exclusive, but it seems many people struggle to reconcile one with the other.  You can either be a trophy, or an athlete; arm candy, or a champion.

It makes me wonder if WWE considers women as valuable to the company as we are led to believe.  After all, we're not getting a one-on-one match for either Women's Championship at Wrestlemania.  Instead, we're getting a Fatal-Four-Way and a veritable free-for-all.  I thought we'd moved past the days when WWE would just shove every woman into a bloated match for the sake of not leaving anyone out.  This is the time of year to take your two top stars and have them square off in an epic match that can be properly built and given the time that's needed to tell the right story.

Instead, the outcomes of these matches won't mean as much because we are not given a reason to care.  Smackdown should have Becky vs. Alexa because those two have been fighting for the Championship all year long.  Throwing Naomi in there simply because Wrestlemania is in her hometown--while a nice gesture--debases the importance of earning a shot at Wrestlemania.  There's no women's Royal Rumble to determine who gets that coveted slot.  WWE's answer is that everyone is a winner.  That's simply unrealistic if you're trying to build prestige in that division.

So are women truly on the same level as men?  Are they simply props to appease the internet fans who have been clamoring for a change?  If we are to believe that change is happening, we need to change the way we talk about, view, and interact with women.  These are powerful, athletic, multi-dimensional people with so much to offer an audience that constantly craves more.  One day, I hope, they will be presented as stars and not simply a means to an end.

Royal Rumble Predictions

Purely from a "fanboy" perspective, the Royal Rumble is arguably the most fun pay-per-view of the year, simply due to its unpredictability.  I don't think anything gets me more excited for the pay-per-view or Wrestlemania than listening to fans and critics argue over who might go into the Show of Shows gunning for the World (or Universal) Championship.

And, lest I disappoint, I'll be throwing my hat into that ring as well (no pun intended).

(No, wait...pun definitely intended.)

WWE has made no qualms about where the Royal Rumble stands in its pantheon of monthly extravaganzas.  They've stretched both the kick-off show and pay per view itself so that the entire event will span approximately six hours.

Six.  Hours.

If you're a WWE die-hard, best get your walking in beforehand if you plan to slog through this marathon.

It's also curious that WWE has made the Royal Rumble now the same length as their biggest event, Wrestlemania.  I guess when it comes to WWE Network, all shows are created equal.

The thing is, even with the Rumble itself taking up approximately an hour of screen time, that still leaves five other matches to power us through the remaining three (that's not counting the TWO--yes, just TWO--matches on the kick-off show).  I'm not sure how WWE plans to fill this void, and I sometimes shudder to think of the vignettes we'll have to endure to get to the end.

KICKOFF SHOW

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

Okay, it's not Sasha vs. Bayley, but it's better than having Sasha sit out while Charlotte and Bayley enjoy the spotlight.

The build has even been pretty well done: a simple series of attacks by a Nia Jax that will no longer be ignored.  Sasha has taken some shots of her own to Jax on Raw, but she's still clearly on crutches, which gives her the perfect protection for Jax to win while she rehabs what we hope is not a serious injury.

WHO WILL WIN: Nia Jax
WHO SHOULD WIN: Nia Jax

WWE RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

WWE Raw Tag Team Champions Cesaro & Sheamus vs. The Club (Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson)

It may not be the popular decision, but The Club desperately needs this win.  After a run in Japan that made them true tag team badasses, WWE has done little than use them for bathroom humor and as patsies for the New Day.

Meanwhile, the slapdash team of Cesaro & Sheamus have become a popular act in spite of their lack of apparent chemistry.

While Raw isn't exactly starving for main event players, breaking up Cesaro & Sheamus could go a long way in strengthening the midcard, particularly now that Chris Jericho is the United States Champion.  It does leave the tag division one team shorter, but that's more a call for WWE to step up their game creatively than any fault of the talent (or lack thereof).

WHO WILL WIN: Sheamus & Cesaro
WHO SHOULD WIN: The Club

SIX-WOMAN TAG TEAM MATCH

Becky Lynch, Nikki Bella & Naomi vs. WWE Smackdown Women's Champion Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, & Natalya

Well, it is what it is.  It's a shame that as Raw seems intent to elevate their women to main-event status, Smackdown seems to take two steps back for every step forward.  Just two weeks ago, we had an historic Steel Cage Match for the WWE Smackdown Women's Championship.  Alongside that, we've got an entire other storyline with Nikki Bella and Natalya.  Rather than put each of those feuds on display (particularly on a show that's stretching to four hours), WWE decided to just land them all in a tag team match, faces vs. heels.

Becky Lynch and Naomi clearly have a problem with Alexa Bliss (and by proxy, Mickie James), but Nikki Bella and Natalya have virtually nothing to do with it.  Why they've been smushed into a single match is beyond me.

There's nothing at stake here, and I really don't have a reason to care who wins or loses.  I hope this means WWE is saving something truly special for Wrestlemania, but to say that this matchup is disappointing with such a talented roster is an understatement.

WHO WILL WIN: Alexa Bliss, Mickie James & Natalya
WHO SHOULD WIN: Alexa Bliss, Mickie James & Natalya

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

WWE Cruiserweight Champion Rich Swann vs. Neville

While 205 Live hasn't lived up to the precedent set by the Cruiserweight Classic, it has given someone like Neville a platform on which to reinvent himself and become relevant again.

I mean no disrespect to Swann's in-ring ability, but he just doesn't grab me as a viewer.  He dances out to the ring, he dances in the ring, he dances after he wins.  Then, suddenly, a guy like Neville shows up and suddenly we're supposed to believe Swann is taking things seriously.  It doesn't jive.

Neville, meanwhile, has become one of the best heels on any of WWE's growing number of rosters.  If fans could stop chanting over him because they can't understand his accent, they would see a man frustrated with his place in WWE and determined to change it.  He's yet another of the NXT stars who were drafted to the main roster and subsequently destroyed.  Now he's back to take control of his career once again, and that puts the happy-go-lucky Swann right in his crosshairs.

Characters aside, if given the right amount of time (which shouldn't be a problem on a show that is four hours), these two could have a show-stealing match, showcasing everything we loved about the Cruiserweight Classic and taking another step toward making 205 Live must-see TV.

WHO WILL WIN: Neville
WHO SHOULD WIN: Neville

WWE RAW WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

WWE Raw Women's Champion Charlotte Flair vs. Bayley

In case my point about the prestige of women's wrestling on Raw vs. Smackdown wasn't clear enough, let me reiterate: I'm probably more excited about this match than any other match on the card--including the Rumble.

I love Bayley.  You love Bayley.  Everybody loves Bayley.  Once again, WWE proves that the "Keep It Simple" mentality is what works best when it comes to these matches.  Using Bayley's "everyman/woman" connection with the audience to accentuate her as the underdog while also strengthening Charlotte as a prodigy of wrestling royalty may seem a little too high-brow for the audience, but it's thus far struck a perfect chord.

Charlotte has become arguably the best heel in professional wrestling.  From her ring-presence to her mic skills, she's become the total package.  Whereas in her NXT days she did everything she could to prove she'd made it on her own, she's now flaunting the Flair name and insisting that the door to WWE was opened to her because of it.

Once again, this match should be given the proper time.  A good 20-25 minute back-and-forth battle could set Bayley up for bigger things and establish Charlotte as one of--if not the--greatest women's wrestlers and champions of all time.

It's doubtful that Bayley will come out the winner here given that WWE may save that for a true Wrestlemania Moment (tm), and that's perfectly fine with me as long as Bayley is given a chance to prove that she belongs in the same conversation with the other three Horsewomen of NXT now that they've all been given a chance to shine on bigger stages.

This could very well be the match of the night.

WHO WILL WIN: Charlotte Flair
WHO SHOULD WIN: Charlotte Flair

WWE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP

NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH

(WWE United States Champion Chris Jericho will be suspended above the ring in a shark cage)

WWE Universal Champion Kevin Owens vs. Roman Riegns

I want to believe that Roman Reigns will not be gaining his fourth (FOURTH!) world championship on Sunday.

I really want to believe it.

But I can't.

Anyone can see from a mile away that the real build is to Owens vs. Jericho at Wrestlemania.  That's good news for fans who aren't into the Owens/Reigns feud, but bad news for anyone who was expecting Reigns to disappear from the main event scene.

Owens and Jericho is a great friendship that should make for a great feud.  The only problem, where Reigns-haters are concerned, is that the feud doesn't require a title to be at stake, which leaves the door wide open for a Reigns win this Sunday and a showdown with...someone...at Wrestlemania.

If Reigns wins, we can see Rollins--assuming he's not already embroiled in fisticuffs with HHH--chasing his former Shield brother for the title in a bid for "The Game's" attention.  Of course, with Rollins and HHH's feud inevitably culminating at Wrestlemania, that begs the question of who would take on Reigns for the title at the Superbowl of Wrestling.  That question could be answered at the Rumble as well, but we don't know.

If Owens wins, it's unclear how we'd get into a feud with Jericho, as Jericho has a title of his own.  I'm sure WWE could conjure some way to have Y2J cost KO the title, or vice versa, but I can't see Owens going into 'Mania as Champion when the feud works just as well without it.  It also leaves Reigns out in the cold with nothing to do, unless he's gifted one title or the other in the process.

I don't envy Chris Jericho, whose job it will be to basically sit (or stand) in a cage for twenty minutes or so and bark about how unjust his imprisonment is.  I'm also not clear how any of that will factor into the outcome of the match.

Two things that /are/ clear: WWE really wants us to like Roman Reigns.  They also have no idea how to make that happen besides giving us no alternative.

WHO WILL WIN: Roman Reigns
WHO SHOULD WIN: Kevin Owens

WWE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

WWE World Champion A.J. Styles vs. John Cena

No matter what happens Sunday, AJ Styles may go down as having the single best rookie year of /any/ WWE Superstar.  This Sunday will mark the anniversary of Styles' debut, and perhaps the end of his incredible reign as Champion.

To WWE's credit, you almost forget that we've seen this match a couple of times already.  There really are only two questions to ask, and they go hand-in-hand:

1.) When will John Cena get his record-tying 16th World Championship?

and

2.) How much faith does WWE have in AJ Styles?

AJ hasn't had such great luck when it comes to contenders for his title.  Dean Ambrose (a lot), Dolph Ziggler, and (ugh) James Ellsworth are arguably his most memorable feuds.  That's partly due to the Cena's absence and the thinness of the Smackdown roster.  So Cena's return from hiatus not only re-invigorated /Smackdown/, it gave Styles a clear objective: either overcome Cena once again, or say goodbye to your title.

Much like the WWE Universal Championship match, anything is possible.

If Styles retains, it could set up a great Wrestlemania match, regardless of who he faces (Cena, The Miz, and Bray Wyatt are some popular names to throw out there).  Even in defeat, seeing AJ walk into Wrestlemania with the gold around his waist could be a career-defining moment.

A loss makes things a little muddy for the Phenomenal one.  He would certainly be entitled to a rematch, but it most likely wouldn't happen at Wrestlemania, given that there's two months between the events and a 30-day defense clause (supposedly) in a champion's contract.

So in the event Styles loses, there are two routes: he can have his rematch and lose, which seems most likely.  Rumors of a Styles/Undertaker match at 'Mania would then be free and clear to pollute the internet at will.

However, there is one person we're neglecting in this calculation, and that's John Cena and his record-tying reign.  If Cena were to win at the Royal Rumble, it would set up Styles for a rematch.  A rematch Styles could win.

This does a couple of things: First, it keeps Styles as a fixture of Smackdown's admittedly tiny main event scene.  Next, it gives WWE and John Cena an easy way to eclipse Ric Flair's record in a matter of weeks instead of years.

With AJ as Champion in say, the middle of March, that leaves him as the guy walking into Wrestlemania, and John Cena owed a rematch.  It easily sets up Cena to win his 17th World Championship on the Grandest Stage of Them All, and gives AJ his Wrestlemania moment.

Unfortunately, for that to happen, he has to lose this Sunday.

WHO WILL WIN: John Cena
WHO SHOULD WIN: AJ Styles

ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH

Okay, here's the big one.  I'm gonna make this as succinct as possible.

Here's everyone slated for the Rumble as stated on WWE.com:

The Undertaker
Golberg
Brock Lesnar
Big Show
Dean Ambrose
The Miz
Sami Zayn
Dolph Ziggler
Big E
Xavier Woods
Kofi Kingston
Bray Wyatt
Randy Orton
Luke Harper
Mojo Rawley
Braun Strowman
Chris Jericho
Baron Corbin
Cesaro
Sheamus
Big Cass
Rusev

That's 22 participants, leaving 8 vacant slots.

We can safely assume that Lesnar and Goldberg will eliminate each other.  The Undertaker will like be eliminated by his Wrestlemania opponent.  Dean Ambrose doesn't need a Rumble win, nor does Ziggler, or any member of the New Day (they will die simultaneously in costume).  The Wyatt Family is busy with their own drama, Sheamus & Cesaro will either be champions or enemies coming out, and please don't get me started on the lunacy of having BIg Show or Mojo Rawley as your victor.

That leaves Sami Zayn, Braun Strowman, Chris Jericho, Baron Corbin, Big Cass, The Miz, and Rusev.

If I had my pick of the "Final Four" from this list, we've got Zayn, Jericho, Miz, and Rusev.  Of those four, Jericho and Miz have the strongest chance of winning, but it all depends on how the night's title matches shake out.

Then there's the those eight empty spots.  There's been a lot of talk about who could be filling them.  You can bet WWE will be digging into its pool of Hall of Fame and Alumni for some of them.  So who is most likely to show?

Triple H: He was last year's winner, and he's got a beef with Seth Rollins.  It only makes sense he would find his way into the match, even if it's just to set up Rollins/HHH at Wrestlemania.

Samoa Joe: The only high-profile member of the NXT roster without a match Saturday's Takeover, and someone who has been soundly exiled from the NXT Championship picture.  This is almost a given.

Kurt Angle: I know this seems like a lay-up for most, but WWE has only inducted one active wrestler into the Hall of Fame, and that was Ric Flair.  It'd be odd to put Angle in that category.  Even if Angle did have "one more match" in him, I doubt WWE would waste it on a Rumble appearance when he's probably least likely to win.

Finn Balor: Just like Angle, this seems obvious, assuming Balor is in condition to compete at all by Sunday.  Reports were swirling that WWE would know the answer to that question in the next 24 hours or so, but assuming Balor /is/ ready to compete, do you want to take that chance that he re-injures himself in the Rumble rather than save him at full strength for Wrestlemania?  I seriously doubt it.

Kenny Omega: This is perhaps the farthest reaching of all the rumors, particularly when you consider Omega will still be under contract with New Japan Pro Wrestling until February 1st.  John Cena has been posting pics of Omega all over social media, which is great for getting a buzz from your audience, but may be more of a courting gesture than any hint that a deal has been finalized.  Omega has also gone on record that he doesn't particularly enjoy WWE's creative directions and would rather be known as the greatest wrestler to never appear in WWE.

Shinsuke Nakamura: This largely depends on how Takeover pans out, but even if Nakamura were to lose to Bobby Roode, he'd be due a rematch.  You're much more likely to see Nakamura debut the week following Wrestlemania than make a brief Rumble appearance just to slide back down to the developmental brand.

Bobby Roode: Again, this depends on what happens Saturday night, but even should Roode lose to Nakamura, I don't see WWE draining the already small NXT talent pool for the sake of a Rumble appearance.  Even if they did, the odds that they would shoot Roode right to the main event of Wrestlemania with a Rumble win is astronomically unlikely, making his appearance here little more than lip service for the NXT faithful.

Even were all these men to appear, that still leaves an open spot for a surprise entrant to be named later.  And that's what makes this match so exciting: it's truly impossible to predict who will appear and when.

WHO WILL WIN: Chris Jericho
WHO SHOULD WIN: Finn Balor

FINAL THOUGHTS

The difficult part about predicting any outcome of any match in January is that Wrestlemania is just around the corner, and while we should be living in the thrill of the moment, the truth is that we are all dissecting what happens here so that we have a better idea of what to expect come the spring spectacular.  Whereas most other events can be considered self-contained, what happens this Sunday will more than likely have far-reaching consequences as WWE seeks to build toward the biggest event of their calendar year.