It has been more than six weeks since "TNA iMPACT" went head-to-head with "WWE Raw". On February 15, 2010, TNA officially announced it would be moving iMPACT to Monday nights in the 9-11p.m. timeslot, thereby competing head-to-head with "WWE Raw" every week starting March 8th.
This is huge news, and the wrestling world has been speculating on how WWE will respond.
First let me talk about the state of these companies following their Monday Night War last month.
WWE has seen an increase in quality in my opinion, though I could still do without the guest hosts. The hosts really don't do anything for the product, and while some can pull it off remarkably well (Freddy Prinze, Jr., Seth Green, Bob Barker, and William Shatner to name a few), some are just painful to watch. Watching guest hosts dance backstage with divas is not my idea of a good time. If you're sitting in the arena, you are SITTING in the arena. You're not on your feet, you're not dancing around (there is hardly room). Watching them make jokes about the wrestlers only weakens your product. Watching them plug their own products is shameless advertising. Taking entire segments of the show to pander to the guest host's forte is a slap in the face to the men and women who work hard to earn that camera time. In the end, I sincerely hope that WWE gets Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to guest host "Raw" the week before "Wrestlemania 26" and send this idea off on a high note. After that, they need to find a permanent GM for "Raw" to compete with "Smackdown"'s Theodore Long, who plays his role so well.
Don't get me wrong, WWE has done a lot right leading up to "Wrestlemania". They always do. This is their biggest show of the year. The angle Angle with Bret Hart is some of the most believable stuff I've seen in years and it is compelling to both past and present fans. The angle with John Cena and Batista feels genuine, and even though we've seen them wrestle a hundred times before, Batista has really changed in my eyes, at least in regards to character, and that adds a whole new dynamic to his matches. I absolutely LOVED that WWE allowed him to shirk off Cena's reved up promo on "Raw" this past Monday. That appeals to all the anti-Cena fans, and helps get Batista over as a heel. It is a terrific angle and they are working it well.
HBK's obsession with facing The Undertaker has taken some strange turns, seeming to culminate in Shawn's claim that if he can't face "The Deadman" at 'Mania, his career is over. My forecast for this sees HBK's obsession breaking up DX and either facing Triple H at "Wrestlemania" one-on-one in what could be Shawn's retirement match, or The Undertaker facing both members of D-Generation X in a handicap match for the World Heavyweight Championship. The Undertaker has only fought in one other handicap match at "Wrestlemania" ("Wrestlemania XIX"), but a match featuring three of the biggest stars the industry has ever seen would blow the roof off the place. We've seen HBK and HHH face off plenty of times over the last eight years, but making this a retirement match, especially after DX's second run, would add a fresh drama to the story.
Still, other things WWE does make me question who is in charge. Edge entering the Royal Rumble was a shocker, but letting him win it is another matter entirely. In the best-case scenario, Edge will go on to face The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship at "Wrestlemania" (assuming he retains his title in the Elimination Chamber match this Sunday). We've seen this match before, and at "Wrestlemania" ("Wrestlemania XXIV"), so really, what's the point? A lot of people think that Chris Jericho will win the World Championship in the Chamber this Sunday and go on to face Edge at "Wrestlemania", which could be a classic in the making. My point is, winning the Rumble is a huge rub to whoever gets the nod, and it could've been used to put over someone like C.M. Punk, Kofi Kingston, MVP, The Miz, etc. Instead it is simply used to re-jump-start Edge's career. WWE has done this before with John Cena, but coming back early from injury is never a good idea, and it is even more dangerous to saddle that vulnerable superstar with a championship, because you may have to strip them of it later.
Other aspects of the product, particularly "Raw" make me want to change the channel. At the "Royal Rumbe", I watched as Teddy Long, while talking with Cryme Tyme, made a reference to a terrible "American Idol" audition. Why?
So much of what WWE does is simply tongue-in-cheek humor. It's the kind of thing that we all think in the back of our heads, "Wouldn't it be funny if...?" but we never really want to see it because it would be preposterous. These are grown men and women whose job is to beat up other grown men and women, and instead we are treated to what feels like a high school locker room of beefed up teenagers.
This past Friday on "Smackdown" I watched as Layla and Michelle McCool made fun of Matt Hardy and Maria, accusing Maria of having "cooties".
Really? Cooties? Even the 12 year-olds in the audience were groaning at this. Matt made a strong exit when he told the girls to "grow up", but the fact that he even had to tell them that shows that WWE doesn't take itself seriously at all anymore.
On the flip side, TNA has pretty much kept to the formula that made them successful. But let's get something straight: TNA was founded with the intention of giving young guys their "shot" at the big time. That's the mission statement that Jeff Jarrett has been preaching to his loyal fans from Day 1. Unfortunately, TNA has turned into a sort of "Island of Misfit Toys", as most of their roster is comprised of ex-WWE/WCW/ECW stars. There are 69 names on the TNA active roster. These are wrestlers, both male and female. This also includes broadcasters, GM's, jeff Jarrett, and Hulk Hogan. Of those 69 stars, 26 (38%) have previously worked in either WWE, WCW, ECW, or some combination of the three. That's not including men like Samoa Joe or Christopher Daniels who worked in Ring of Honor before coming to TNA. It also doesn't include Scott Hall and Sean Waltman, both former WWE and WCW stars.
This would be fine if this 38% weren't the men and women getting all the TV time. TNA has very little homegrown talent that they put over on a regular and consistent basis. Hulk Hogan is at the forefront of every aspect of this company, and Eric Bischoff is the man cracking the whip. Jeff Jarrett himself is continuously in the spotlight, much like Vince McMahon in WWE, but to a lesser degree.
For a company that has made a reputation out of giving young guys their break, they certainly are bringing in a lot of WWE/WCW rejects. Unfortunately that often means that stars like "Black Machismo" Jay Letahal and Eric Young have to take a back seat.
TNA has the advantage when it comes to fast-paced, action-packed wrestling. There is no doubt there, but what TNA doesn't do very well is tell stories with their matches. My sister is a WWE fan. She grew up hating wrestling, but loved the character of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. She would watch every week to see what Austin would do next. She didn't care about the matches in and of themselves, she cared what happened as a result of those matches. The story is what keeps the fans hooked, and a good wrestler will incorporate the story into their matches. TNA seems to get lost on this point, as very little storytelling is done in these matches. Instead wrestlers concentrate on stringing as many moves together as they can and executing them as quickly as possible. That's all well and good, but after a while you begin to wonder if the story really means anything because A.J. Styles will do the same thing to Samoa Joe that he will to Kurt Angle.
One of the reasons Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, and Edge are so good at what they do is because you can see emotion in their actions. When Edge is mad, you can see it in the way he carries himself, in the way he performs, in every move he makes. You can tell Randy Orton is a calculating psychopath because of the way he slithers around the ring, and the glazed, far-off look in his eyes. Shawn Michaels and Ric Clair gave us a great example of emotion in matches when HBK retired "The Nature Boy" at "Wrestlemania XXIV". Emotion is something sorely lacking in TNA, and I want to see more of it incorporated into their matches.
One good thing about TNA's matches is that they all seem to have consequences, and that is something WWE misses much too often. WWE seems to be in a robot mode, where they put two wrestlers in the ring and expect something great to just happen. TNA gives every match a purpose and a consequence, and that makes for compelling television.
D'Angelo Dinero (formerly Elijah Burke in WWE/ECW) is a tremendous talent with such charisma I'm not sure why he didn't rise to the top of WWE. He is fun to watch, to listen to, and while I didn't agree with his disrespect of Ric Flair on "iMPACT" this past Thursday, he sold it for all it was worth. I can't wait to see what this young man's future brings to him. I truly hope he makes WWE regret that they ever let him go.
Seeing Ric Flair with A.J. Styles brought back memories of when he managed Triple H, except I don't think it worked here quite as well. A.J. has never been a flashy kind of guy. The reason fans have rallied behind him is because he has always been a man of few words who does his talking in the ring. I saw A.J. dressed in a suit, with shades and women hanging on his shoulders, and I just didn't buy it. Maybe it's because I haven't watched TNA in a while, so I don't know the whole story, but I just didn't buy A.J. in this new demeanor.
Flair did a tremendous job (as Flair always does) of playing off Dinero. I loved the "no holds barred" nature of their banter. Flair will always be royalty in wrestling, and the fans can respect that, but they hate what Flair has made of their Champion, so it's a complex dynamic there. Flair is still the measuring stick, he is still "The Nature Boy". I firmly believe he will never leave that ring until the powers that be take him from it. And while I don't necessarily buy the new A.J. Styles, any segment with Flair is a positive one for me.
Still, other parts of "iMPACT" this past Thursday made me roll my eyes. The entire speech Hulk Hogan gave to Abyss was one of the most preposterous things I've ever seen in wrestling. It started off good, with Hogan giving Abyss a kick in the rear for being such a coward, and I thought, "This is good." Then he gives Abyss his Hall of Fame ring and says that it has the power to make Abyss bigger than Hulk Hogan ever was.
The entire time, Abyss is screaming in joy as though some electric shock is coursing through his body from the moment that ring enters his hand. I'm sorely tempted to make a J.R.R. Tolkein reference here, but I wouldn't want to insult Tolkein that way. Abyss starts screaming, "I feel it! I feel it!"
This is ridiculous. First off, Hogan talks himself up so high it's a wonder he can still see the arena from where he is. Then he just gives away his Hall of Fame ring? Really? He goes on and on about how he worked his whole life for it, and then he just gives it away? Now Abyss is supposed to stand for all the Hulkamaniacs? What about Abyss' fans? Hogan is supposed to live vicariously through Abyss? Is the ring magic? Does it make ordinary men into superheroes? Even as a symbol, this angle with the ring is weak. Hogan basically just told the world that it doesn't take charisma or talent to make it in wrestling. In fact, anyone can do it, as long as they have someone's Hall of Fame ring.
But let's just assume for a second that I buy all this and that the ring will magically transform whoever wears it into the biggest star since "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
Abyss? Really?
Of all the people on your roster, you choose Abyss to receive Hogan's blessing? You could choose "The Pope". You could choose Jay Lethal. You could choose Samoa Joe. But you choose Abyss? Abyss has always come off as a Mankind clone in my eyes, so it would make more sense to me to see Mick Foley in Hogan's role, but of course the power of Hulkamania overrides all common sense, so it has to be Hogan here. If Abyss is struggling that bad that he needs this big a rub after so many years in TNA, then there is something seriously wrong with either TNA or Abyss. This angle is preposterous, and needs to go away as soon as possible.
The speech by Kurt Angle, on the other hand, was simply incredible. It's been a long time since I've seen that kind of genuine, heartfelt emotion in a wrestling ring, and at that moment, every fan in that arena was a Kurt Angle fan. Breaking kayfabe isn't really that big a deal in wrestling anymore, but Kurt didn't break it simply for the sake of breaking it. He didn't do it for shock value. I realize this is an angle (no pun intended), but it was done to progress the angle between Kurt and Mr. Anderson, and it was done well. Kurt was honest here, and the fans appreciated that. TNA has an incredible fanbase, and they supported Kurt through his entire promo. This is something you would never see in WWE, and that's part of what makes it so special.
Mr. Anderson, another former WWE star, is still one of the best talkers in the business. I wish him all the success TNA has to offer him, and he will only help TNA grow for the better.
The show ends with an angle between Hall, Nash, and Waltman, and I'm once again reminded that this is a show where, my like WCW, the veterans get top priority.
This brings us to March 8, 2010, when these two companies will go head to head to compete for the wrestling audience.
I just want to make two points here. TNA has all the tools to grow their company and be as big as WWE is. It will not happen overnight. This will take time. If anyone is expecting WWE to be toppled in the ratings on March 8th, they will be sadly disappointed.
Which brings me to my next point. Everyone is saying that Vince McMahon and WWE are suddenly going to change the style of their product to keep fans away from TNA, but let's be realistic.
Vince McMahon is not afraid of TNA.
TNA draws about 1/3 of the fans that "Raw" draws every week. Consider WWE's target audience: anyone between 12-18 is probably their core demographic. Who is cheering for John Cena? The young kids. The same can be said for Rey Mysterio. Meanwhile the older fans will cheer for Shawn Michaels, Triple H, The Undertaker, Edge, Chris Jericho, etc. Ask any of those fans if they know what TNA is, and chances are they will not. I don't have the means to conduct a study, but I would estimate that 1 in every 5 WWE fans knows what TNA is. Furthermore, WWE and TNA are competing for two different types of wrestling fans. WWE is pandering more to the young crowd, while TNA is putting a more "Attitude Era" product to appeal to older fans.
Vince McMahon is not threatened by TNA in it's current state. TNA does, however, have all the tools to make themselves into a formidable competitor in the wrestling market, and that is worth watching for. I don't expect to see any changes immediately, but if you're a casual fan, I encourage to watch on March 8th, and then come back in a year and see where things are at. My guess is that by then TNA will have garnered enough fans and sponsors to make a real go of things with WWE, and that is what Vince McMahon should be afraid of.
When USA sees a substantial drop in ratings due to fans switching over to TNA in mid-broadcast, they will put pressure on Vince and the WWE to raise those ratings. I'm guessing this will mean an overhaul on the creative side of things, and perhaps even a bit more of a TV-14-style product.
Meanwhile, TNA just needs to keep doing what it has been doing, only do it bigger. That's the only way they are going to get people's attention and make WWE fans concerned with a different promotion.
Either way, it's a great time to be a wrestling fan.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Monday Night War 2010-TNA iMPACT
As discussed in my previous blog entry, Monday, January 4 rekindled the spark of the Monday Night Wars in professional wrestling when WWE Raw and TNA iMPACT ran head to head on prime time cable television. My last entry discussed the quality of WWE's product as showcased that night. Thus, this article will discuss what TNA featured on their programming in their attempt to knock WWE off of their ratings throne.
Let me first start by saying that the night in question was much more important to TNA than it was to WWE. WWE essentially had nothing to fear from a company that is not even a decade old and with a fraction of WWE's budget. This was never more apparent than when TNA announced a three-hour spectacular to christen this new war.
I will also say that I watched TNA regularly for about a year from 2008 to early 2009. Then my DVR quit and I never got around to rescheduling it to tape iMPACT, so while I'm familiar with most of the talent, I'm pretty blank on what is going in angle-wise. This is an advantage, however, since I can look at this without the same bias I have for WWE Raw, which I rarely miss.
TNA also had the advantage of starting at 8:00 p.m., which gave them an hour to rope in as many wrestling fans as possible and give them as many reasons as they could not to change the channel. So I will break down TNA's program into three segments: one for each hour of programming.
HOUR 1: 8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Let me start off by saying that the atmosphere in TNA throughout the night was amazing, and is the kind of atmosphere that WWE would kill for every week. TNA went outside to the waiting crowd and interviewed their audience before the show even started and you could feel the energy in each fan. A lot of them talked smack to Vince McMahon and WWE in general, which I personally don't agree with, but that is beside the point.
STEEL ASSYLUM MATCH: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Kioshi vs. Homicide vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red
I had a few problems with this match, but the idea of having one of your most unique gimmick matches as an opener, especially for new fans, is a good idea. Unfortunately, whenever you have that many people in the ring, eventually the whole thing gets dragged down as the wrestlers try to figure out exactly how to keep the spotlight on the two main men in the ring while not looking like they're bored out of their minds.
The battle with Machismo and Shelley on the cage was anti-climactic as eventually, they just kind of fell back to the canvas. The action was fast-paced, but perhaps so much so that no one could really keep up with what was going on.
Which brings me to my next point.
The structure of this cage is AWFUL. Just AWFUL. I mean, let's look at classic steel cage matches from WWE and WCW and you will see that even the old school cages were not nearly as involved as this. Making it red was the worst idea ever because red has a tendency to override everything else in the picture. The bars are much too many and too thick, which means that even if your cameraman is doing his job right, he has to cross his fingers and hope there is enough open space between the bars to get the shot he's looking for. There is a reason WWE uses mesh on it's cages: it is easy to see through yet it still looks like you can't get out and it will hurt if you slam someone into it.
Also, the dome at the top did nothing but slow this match down. Trying to climb up and through it seemed especially difficult for anyone involved. It's a shame, because the rest of the match was so nicely paced, but in the end, it lead to a dead stand-still.
Speaking of the end of the match, TNA shot itself in the foot...no, in the face when it let this match end in disqualification. Fans of WWE have been complaining for years at the number of matches that end in DQ, so TNA offers fans a chance at something different by...pulling the exact same stunt. Fans chanting "This is bullshit" after your opening match on the biggest show in your company's history is never a good sign. At the end, Homicide tried in vain to get through the top of the cage, but clearly had too difficult a time. Also, why didn't they open the cage when the match was over? Watching Homicide struggle on the structure was a waste of about two minutes, but it all works out I suppose because the only thing people will remember is:
Jeff Hardy showing up in TNA. Out of nowhere some music hits and we see Jeff making his way through the crowd. He's high-fiving everyone in sight, gets over the barricade, and over to the ringside area before being attacked by Homicide. Jeff then beats the crap out of him before scaling the cage from the outside, a feat much easier than the interior scaling his downed adversary attempted earlier. The segment ended with Jeff sitting prominently atop the steel.
I can understand Jeff's move here, but I fear he may have burned a rather valuable bridge with Vince McMahon now that he has openly chosen to sign with the rival organization. Still, Jeff has done what is best for Jeff, and that is all that matters, and his presence can only help TNA as he draws money and fans wherever he goes.
TNA also still suffers from what I like to call Instant Replay Syndrome. This is when a program insists on replaying events over and over again despite the fact that we've already seen them. I mentioned this also in my WWE Raw review. I understand that you want people who are just tuning to see what they've missed so that they'll never make that mistake again, but for people who were already tuned in, it comes off as shoving your product down my throat and eventually the initial shock and awe fades into becoming "Okay, okay! I know!"
The crowd is still rocked by Jeff's arrival when he makes his way backstage and is greeted by Shannon Moore. This would've been a great moment if we could hear what the hell they were SAYING! Instead we're stuck listening to Mike Tennay and Tazz spout off about how great it is to have Jeff in TNA. WE KNOW! NOW LET US EXPERIENCE JEFF HERE IN TNA!
Unfortunately this moment is almost instantly overshadowed by Hulk Hogan who is seen riding in his limo to the arena...with a police escort.
Really? A police escort? Since when do wrestlers need police escorts? Of course, I need to remember that Hogan is not here to wrestle. I mean, Vince McMahon receiving a police escort makes sense because he's the boss and he's worth a billion dollars. I suppose I need to start thinking of Hogan as the boss and not simply as a face there to boost ratings and sell t-shirts.
From a business standpoint, I suppose watching Hulk make his way to the arena is the same as watching a plane land at an airport: the anticipation builds dramatically. Unfortunately, for the home audience, we all knew Hulk would be there, and teasing us does nothing really to build that anticipation. It just annoys me because he should already be there. What kind of boss misses this kind of premiere event by an HOUR? He's the kind of boss that switches jobs on a regular basis.
I don't know why, but I really liked Kevin Nash's promo. It wasn't about energy, it was simply a man talking to the camera. It was a long way off from the strict, wooden, scripted promos of WWE. After a few minutes of recounting his friendship with the Hulkster, Nash reveals that Hogan won't be coming alone. This makes me wonder: will there be an nWo revival? Nash also mentions that whatever company Hogan has worked for has always been the biggest company in the industry. This would be true...if it weren't for the fact that he helped run WCW into the ground.
And with the realization that Hulk is bringing some friends, we get our first real wiff of another epidemic in wrestling, and particularly TNA: the WCW virus.
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: TNA Knockouts Champion Tara vs. ODB
It was great to see Tara (formerly Victoria in WWE). Seeing her here really felt refreshing. She looks to be in amazing shape and hasn't missed a beat.
Obviously, the selling point of TNA's Knockout Division is that they don't simply hire supermodels to wrestle. The women look real and the wrestling is much more dynamic than WWE's brand. ODB is the epitome of this division: a female version of Steve Austin, coming out complete with flask. I've never been a fan of ODB as I think her gimmick is a bit forced, but it certainly catches everyone's attention and sets TNA apart.
Unfortunately, women's wrestling is still not as fluid as the men. You can see them setting up for moves way in advance, and with TNA's fast-paced action, it is harder for the women to keep up. That's not to say they aren't good at what they do: these are world-class athletes as good as, and sometimes better, than their WWE counterparts. Even Amy Dumas, formerly known as WWE's Lita, admitted in her book that women's wrestling just can't keep up with the guys. Part of this is because management is more protective of their female roster. Nevertheless, this is a strong showing here.
I didn't know TNA had a separate tag division for their Knockouts, and to this I ask, "Is your roster really big enough for that?" I tend to think not.
There really was no clear face or heel. Both women have tremendous followings, and fans chanted for both throughout the match. ODB wins this match by grabbing Tara's tights in the schoolboy (or schoolgirl) roll-up, but oddly enough, no one says anything. Granted, it is difficult to reverse a referee's decision, but even the announcers, after sighting that ODB grabbed the tights, don't dispute the win, but merely accept the fact that ODB is the new Knockouts Champion. Odd, to say the least.
Tara gets revenge here by knocking out ODB and laying a scorpion on her chest. This reminds me, and probably a lot of other fans, of Jake "The Snake" Roberts back in the day, but it was great to see a woman put out that kind of message. Very strong, very scary.
Again, this is overshadowed by a classic "bait and switch" of Hogan's arrival. A limo pulls up, but it's not Hogan. It's someone else.
It's Ric Flair!
Flair gets out of the limo to a cascade of "Woo!"'s from the crowd. He quickly makes his way toward the locker room of TNA World Heavyweight Champion A.J. Styles.
Having Flair there was a great moment, and a colossal achievement for TNA, but it came with that used, WCW smell to it.
So we find Mick Foley, a man who once held great power in the company, banned from the arena. Now, here's the problem I have with this program in general:
TNA is trying to cultivate new fans, possibly ex-WWE purists, but they don't present their product in a way that is accessible to people who don't watch it every week. We hear some vague reference to Foley saying something to someone that was bad enough to get him banned from the iMPACT Zone. Hey...here's an idea: let's see a recap of what Foley said! Instead we are left wondering why this hardcore legend would be banned from this star-studded night: the "biggest night in company history". Also, the irony of Hogan ousting Foley from his position of power was not lost on me.
Bobby Lashely, yet another of TNA's ex-WWE stars, makes his way to the ring, still lacking all the charisma he did back in WWE. But this time he has something better with him: his wife. And, fortunately for Bobby, his wife does all the talking.
It's a bit sad that Mrs. Lashley seemed to possess infinitely more charisma than her husband. I wonder what that says about Lashley...or WWE...or TNA for that matter.
Anyway, apparently Lashley wants out of his contract, so he demands that Eric Bischoff cut the leash. There's no response at the time, so the Lashleys just leave the ring. Odd that Lashley picks the grandest stage in the company's history to LEAVE it. Another bit of irony there for those who were dying for more.
A former WWE star leaving TNA. Let's hope this isn't a trend.
The segments with the Beautiful People are barely worth mentioning. If you thought the "dumb blonde" stint that WWE's Maria played early in her career was bad, it's hard to imagine how the Beautiful People can look themselves in the mirror. They decide to play strip poker for the night, which is insulting because we all know we won't get to see anything anyway, but we're supposed to stay tuned to see what happens.
Again, we're told Hogan is on his way.
NOTE TO TNA: WE KNOW!
As if things weren't nostalgic enough, who should show up outside but Scott Hall and Sean Waltman (X-Pac). They want in, but of course, no one will let them in.
TNA then puts out the most useless segment of the night. We see Hulk's limo stop to meet another limo. Someone gets out of the waiting limo and into Hulk's. Hulk's limo then proceeds on it's way to the arena it should've been at 45 minutes ago.
This would all be intriguing, except Kevin Nash already told us Hulk wasn't coming alone. So now we know he's really not coming alone. Excellent.
Scott Hall and X-Pac show up in the iMPACT Zone to remind us all of how they crashed Monday Nitro. Clearly TNA is taking a fresh, new direction.
And then TNA makes themselves look incredibly stupid. We come back from commercial so that Mike Tennay can tell you what will happen when we come back from commercial. So basically the past 3 segments (or about 10 precious minutes of your life in which you could've been lamenting about your favorite colored M&M) were wasted in preparation for Hulk Hogan's arrival. Clearly TNA is just wasting time to get to the head of the 9:00 hour so they can keep people from switching to Raw after they let their star attraction loose.
HOUR 2: 9:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.
This is it. This is for all the marbles. This is the moment where TNA hopes to plant its flag in the fertile ground of a new, more competitive professional wrestling market. This is where the landscape of the entire industry supposedly changes.
And it does. Unfortunately, this doesn’t feel so much like a step forward so much as an exercise in déjà vu.
This is both the most thrilling, and most ridiculous segment of the night.
At long last, “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan emerges onto the TNA stage, and makes his way into the iMPACT Zone.
The first thing I like about this is that Hogan comes out to a remixed version of the old nWo theme. This is instantly recognizable and 1,000 times more relevant than the throwback appeal of WWE’s “Real American” ballad.
I may not be a Hogan fan by nature, but his charisma is undeniable. The atmosphere is amazing, again, this is BIG. Hogan makes his Triple H-like 12-minute stroll down to the ring where we wait another five minutes before the chanting dies down. The announce team also makes the point that Hulk’s daughter Brooke is in the audience, which makes me worried that TNA will turn into “Hogan Knows Best 2.0”.
As you may have guessed, this segment quickly took a turn for the worse as far as I’m concerned. The nWo theme is relevant, but Hogan himself is dressed in black and white. So it’s kind of a slap in the face to all the fans who shelled out the $25 for the classic “Hulkamania” t-shirts. No red and yellow? Kind of kills the climax.
The Hogan says the stupidest thing he could possibly say:
“I’ve been in the back all day long.” Apparently Hulk has been talking to the talent all day about how big this night is.
Really? You’ve been in the back all day? Then maybe you could explain why it took you an HOUR to get to the arena? Maybe you could explain why we wasted about 20 minutes showing footage of your motorcade making their way to the show? This is just horrible work by TNA. It’s insulting to the fans to know that Hulk was there long before we’re meant to believe he was, and the inconsistency is just sloppy.
Hulk continues to talk himself into a hole, and it’s clear what his aim is here in TNA. Example:
“There’s a lot of old faces in the back that are ready to gear up.
Wow. That sounds like exactly what TNA needs: more has-beens to crowd a roster already chock full of veterans. Is this really the “fresh” new direction TNA is looking for? Is this a rebirth, or a throwback? They can’t seem to decide just yet.
Now we see Hall and Pac trying to get to the ring to confront Hogan. We’re supposed to think that they are “invading” the show, but judging by the fact that we saw them outside fighting with security, we know this is a work. WWE did a much better job when Matt Hardy “invaded” Monday Night Raw to attack Edge. Not to mention WCW did a much better job when Hall and Nash invaded their show over a decade ago.
Hogan tells security to let them in. Now we KNOW it’s a work, because who would let anyone into a show who wasn’t supposed to be there? No one. I don’t care how well you know them, the risks you take by putting them in a position to ruin your product (I mean, they HAND Scott Hall a microphone) far outweighs the trust garnered by any friendship, past or present.
So they’re in the ring now. The fans are electric. The energy is at its highest. We’re not sure if they’re here to join Hogan or ally against him. They’re cheering, they’re chanting. This goes on for a while. Then Hogan repeats his offer to let Hall and Pac say whatever it is they have to say, though he doesn’t seemed too thrilled to see them. The chanting continues, and we suddenly get the feeling that the only person missing from this picture is Kevin Nash. Then Hall puts the mic to his lips and spits:
“Say hello to the bad guy.”
Um, “Hello, Bad Guy. Now WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
I realize this is Hall’s catchphrase and everything, but COME ON! All this anticipation and that’s the best you’ve got? We all know who you are. Now WHY ARE YOU HERE?
So the bottom line is that Hall and Pac think this is going to be easy money, like in WCW. They’re going to make a killing burying the young talent and reclaiming the spotlight they lost years ago when WCW went under. Of course, this is one of the primary reasons WCW DID go under. Hogan then assures Hall and Pac that “This is a different time.”
WELL, DAMNIT! I WANTED AN nWo REUNION!
Sean Waltman then makes the most relevant point when he tells Hogan he sees right through this. It’s the same place, and the same people, and h e doubts things will be different.
That is the most intelligent thing I’ve EVER heard out of Sean Waltman, and at this point, I couldn’t agree more.
Hogan assures us all that “It’s gonna be totally different this time.” He then goes on to tell us how the new TNA will operate, how spots will not be handed out, and how everyone will have to earn their spot in the company. Hall and Pac continue to voice their doubts and their hopes, while Hogan counters.
Does this sound like an infomercial to anyone else?
“It’s time we grow up and we do the right thing for the business, brother.” Hogan is basically telling Hall and Pac that if they stay with TNA they will most likely be jobbing to the younger guys. But what about doing the right thing for the business? Is it the right thing for the business to bring in a bunch of your friends to take top billing from the TNA Originals?
Maybe I’m jumping the gun here. After all, we’ve wasted so much time talking that we haven’t actually seen any changes. Maybe these veterans didn’t want to be remembered as people who helped bury one of the biggest wrestling promotions in history. Maybe they wanted to reconcile their past transgressions and rewrite the last chapter of their careers with a brighter pen. Let’s go with that. It gives me hope in an atmosphere that is looking more and more hopeless by the minute.
Finally we hear the familiar riff and “Big Sexy” Kevin Nash strolls down to the ring. This is officially an nWo reunion. With all these stars in the ring, all with historic pasts in the industry, it was smart of TNA to save this for the 9:00-9:30 segment of the show. Unfortunately for TNA, this takes up pretty much ALL of the 9:00-9:30 segment.
On a complete sidenote, I love Waltman has about 3 different names. For those unfamiliar with him, Sean Waltman started in WCW as the 1-2-3 Kid. He was also most famously known as X-Pac through WWE’s Attitude Era. As a result, he is called “Sean”, “Kid”, or “Pac” interchangeably throughout a single conversation. This would seem cool if the use of past monikers didn’t scream “identity crisis”.
Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Sean “Kid/Pac” Waltman, and Hulk Hogan are now standing in the middle of the ring, and you feel like it really is a sacred fraternity of brotherhood here. Their friendships go way back to before WCW. They are some of the longest-running veterans still actively employed in the business. The memories come flooding back. This is what TNA was looking for. This is why this night was so huge.
And then Kevin Nash breaks up the nostalgia by siding with Pac and Hall.
This makes no sense to me. Kevin Nash has been employed by TNA longer than anyone else in that ring. Sure the others have had brief stints, but Kevin Nash has been prominently featured in the company, from mentoring Samoa Joe, to main-eventing Pay-Per-View matches. If anything, Nash should be kissing TNA’s backside for everything they’ve given him. Instead he tells Hulk that he’s just looking for good money. He doesn’t really care how the company is run, but he doesn’t want to lose his spot in it.
Last but not least, Eric Bischoff makes his way into the iMPACT Zone.
Now, maybe this all makes sense to everyone else. Maybe for TNA this feels big and fresh and new. But in an hour and a half, TNA has gone from looking like Total Nonstop Action to becoming the carbon copy of World Championship Wrestling. With Nash, Hall, Pac, Hogan, and now Bischoff literally taking center stage in a promotion that pledged to give “young guys their shot”, this has officially become WCW 2.0.
Eric Bischoff is still bragging about beating WWE in the ratings some 86 weeks in a row back in the day. He talks about revolutionizing the business, changing the pro wrestling landscape, blah blah blah. There’s a reason none of this means anything anymore. Actually, there are two.
The first is that this happened about 10 years ago, when half the present audience could barely pronounce the wrestlers’ names. Sure, everyone remembers it. But it has zero, yes, ZERO impact (no pun intended) on the current product. When you’re WCW, you can brag about beating Raw in the ratings 86 weeks in a row. You’re not. Which brings me to the second reason.
After beating Raw in the ratings for those two or three months, Vince McMahon’s product kicked you so hard in the rear that you were forced to sell out. So now that little spot on your resume where you used to put “beat Raw 86 weeks in a row” should now read “ran WCW into the ground.” So really, Bischoff’s reputation isn’t so much about how he ran the company as it is about his on-screen personality, and for the current audience (anyone that’s been watching wrestling in the last five years), this reputation comes from his stint as General Manager of, yes, you guessed it, Monday Night Raw: the show that put him out of business.
Bischoff reminds us that in the “new” TNA, “Everybody has got to earn their position in this company.” For example: Hulk Hogan, Mick Foley, Kevin Nash, Eric Bischoff…
Oh, wait.
Generally, I like this policy. On paper it can be seen as a practice put in place to keep guys like Hogan, Nash, and Hall from overshadowing guys like A.J. Styles, Samoa Joe, or even Awesome Kong. Bischoff doesn’t care what your position in the company is: top management, the guys setting up the ring, a wrestler, a Knockout, an announcer, or a cameraman; you will be under the scrutiny of TNA’s new administration and your spot could be in jeopardy. This all makes sense to me. It’s very straight-forward, but after a while it starts to feel like Bisch is ramming this idea down our throats.
Also, why are you giving this lecture to the fans? Why is this speech being given in the iMPACT Zone instead of the locker room? Cooperate propaganda like this needs to be saved for management and employees. Why does it matter to fans how the wrestlers earn their spot? You think anyone really cares how “Stone Cold” Steve Austin became the biggest name in WWF history? You think anyone cares about the pecking order backstage?
When good, smart booking is involved, it is always crystal clear why wrestlers are used the way they are. It usually has to do with their talent and/or charisma. They are either strong workers who can carry themselves and others through a match, or they are weak performers who are used to get other wrestlers over. Fans either like them or they don’t. In either case, fans don’t need to be bothered with backstage politics. If we want to know about them, we will look it up online, on the TNA website, or wherever. It doesn’t need to be aired during your biggest show ever. It doesn’t need to be aired at all. I don’t care how people earn their spots, just show me a better product.
Of course, the irony of all this is that while he’s talking up the new TNA policy, Bischoff and Co. are basically telling us that WCW was a horribly run enterprise.
So after giving his rally speech, Bischoff says changes are happening right now. As in RIGHT NOW. He actually grabs a show format (the paper that says what matches/segments happen when) and tears it up in the middle of the ring. Wow. So I guess change means breaking kayfabe.
This makes me think that Bisch is at least going to give the illusion of improvisation, but he doesn’t. He actually pulls out a ready-made replacement format, announcing that this is what the show will be from this point forward. So all those matches you thought you were going to see, are gone. This is the new format, and that’s the power that Bischoff wields as part of his era of “change”.
Never mind the fact that Americans have been choking on for the past year or two. Let’s think about what Bischoff just did. He tore up the format smack dab in the middle of a live broadcast. For those of you who may not know, this is called “bait and switch”, when a company promises one thing (usually a match) and suddenly changes it at the last minute. Fans don’t like bait and switch, and using simply as a showmanship tactic is just poor business sense.
Speaking of poor business sense, Bischoff mentions he’d looked over the format beforehand and decided it needed some changes. Now, clearly Eric had already decided to implement those changes because he had a new format all printed out and ready to go. So, you knew the original format wasn’t good enough for your biggest show ever, but neglected to implement your changes until you were already half way through it? Again, this is insulting to me, and if I were to believe this was real, I would say that TNA runs its company horribly and probably wouldn’t watch much more of it.
Of course, Hogan gets the last word by asking us “Watchya gonna do when the new TNA runs wild on you…” or something like that. I wasn’t really listening because once he gets into the whole “Watchya gonna do” thing, I feel like I should be watching a commercial on a Saturday morning in 1986.
With that, the segment is FINALLY over. Unfortunately, despite what Tazz and Mike Tennay would have us believe, nothing has really changed in TNA. We’ve just spent the last 20 minutes talking about change, but we haven’t seen any. Bischoff promised us change “right now”, but we don’t know what the card was beforehand, so we can’t really tell if anything has changed at all. For all we know the format Bischoff handed back to management could’ve been a photocopy of the original format. But I guess as long as 90% of the fans believe change is in effect, who really cares about the other 10% that know better?
Finally, we get a shot of Sting up in the rafters and he’s apparently been watching this whole confrontation go down. Good for him. Must be nice and quiet up there. I mean, I guess we should feel some sense of foreboding, but honestly, I think Sting just likes it up there. No one bothers him when he’s hanging out over the ring, and no one ever seems to look for him there despite that fact that it’s his only hangout spot. And if they know he’s there, they obviously don’t care enough to have security chase him out of there. Still, the most exciting aspect of this shot is that Ric Flair and Sting are in the same building on the same wrestling show. That’s pretty awesome. I personally would rather have seen Sting and Flair talk for 20 minutes than put up with another 30 seconds of Dixie Carter’s…oops, I mean Hulk Hogan’s policies.
And now that all the hullabaloo is over, TNA reminds us that this is, in fact, a wrestling show by showcasing some actual WRESTLING.
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Taylor Wilde & Sarita vs. Awesome Kong & Hamada
It feels really good to get back to the wrestling side of the show. As the action starts, Mike Tennay laments that Kong’s team could be “the most dominant team in women’s professional wrestling.” Just a question, but how many women’s tag teams do you know?
Again, I haven’t watched TNA in almost a year, but I think Taylor Wilde looks and performs a lot better here with Sarita than she ever did as Knockout Champion. The two have some pretty good chemistry and feel like a team instead of just two people thrown together for the sake of creating a division and a title.
Unfortunately, the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship belts still look like something like I would’ve seen in 1975. Yes, TNA could be going for a more nostalgic appeal (they did have the NWA title to their name for years), but my feeling is that they’re trying to modernize the company and make it more contemporary. The same should hold true for the belts themselves. I mean, look at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. It looks like something men would work their whole life to hold. All of WWE’s titles (except for the terrible Diva’s Championship) look prestigious. Even the modified WWE Title has grown on me now that it’s stopped spinning like someone hit the “Try Me” button in Toys R Us. The TNA World Heavyweight Championship should be the belt that all other belts evolve from.
Also, I think it goes to show you how important TNA holds its Knockout Division tag titles when they cut from the match to show Alex Shelley knocked out in the back by the Wolf Pack…oh…I mean, by an “unknown assailant”. TNA has been using the “cut-away” tactic for as long as I can remember, but it has never really worked for me, and by now, feels very tired. I realize they are trying to give their audience the “anywhere, anytime” feeling, but it is disrespectful in my opinion to the work being done in the ring. Wrestling should always be the focus of the show, not the background against which to paint your picture. Keep the focus on the wrestling and save the rest for the segments in between.
Again, the wrestling is very solid work. Is it just me, or do they keep calling Sarita Sarena? There’s a double-team on Sarita that does essentially nothing. Sometimes I think they just try to throw moves together long enough to make a match. Taylor Wilde comes in with a nice save for her team, and the fans start chanting “this is awesome”. I have to agree, it is.
The finish here by Kong’s team took way too long to set up in an otherwise fast-paced match. The problem with double-team moves is that they have to be implemented quickly, but have enough impact to finish of an opponent. Team 3D (formerly the Dudley Boys) did a great job of making the 3D finisher effortless in each match. Other notable teams are the Hardy Boys and of course, the Rockers for some of the best double-team moves in tag team history. Still, it gets the job done and Kong and Hamada walk away the new TNA Kockout Tag Team Champions.
Back with the Beautiful People, who should show up to this game of Strip Poker than Val Venis? Well, his name isn’t Val Venis, but I’m not sure he has a name because he never tells us what he wants to be called, and he’s never mentioned by the announcers. He simply cautions us not to get too hung up on names and begins shuffling. He does a lot of shuffling. He spends the next minute and a half just shuffling and talking to the girls in sentences packed with innuendo. The shock of Val (or whatever his name is) isn’t as strong as it could be because we’ve already seen Foley, Hall, and Pac invade TNA tonight, not to mention Ric Flair. This is either a case of a poor show format (which I thought Bischoff was supposed to fix) or just the fact that a former WWE mid-carder showing up in TNA isn’t really that big a deal. Either way, it feels kind of like a waste of time.
With the show half over, Mick Foley is still trying to get into the iMPACT Zone. And now, so are the Nasty Boys.
Yes. The Nasty Boys. As if Hulk hadn’t already brought enough “old faces” to TNA…
Speaking of has-beens, here’s our next match!
TAG TEAM MATCH: Raven & Dr. Stevie w/Dafney vs. “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan & Hernandez
Matt Morgan coming out in a cloak is preposterous. Is he trying to be Chris Masters? Who wants to be Chris Masters? What are you trying to hide?
Matt Morgan is the worst example of stereotypes in professional wrestling. In a culture constantly under the microscope for being nothing more than brainless muscle men pumped up on steroids, let’s present this “genetically jacked” star who’s gimmick is being, well, genetically jacked. He has none of the charisma or ferocity of a Bill Goldberg, and while he may be a great athlete for his size, there’s really nothing below the surface here. Is this really “The Blueprint” for your company? Then why is A.J. Styles your champion?
Also, any match in which the entrances take longer than the match itself, really isn’t worth my time here. Morgan gets a huge kick on Dr. Stevie. Raven tries to make it look like he’s trying to break up the three-count, just as Hernandez comes in to kind of look like he almost stopped him. No one’s really sure what’s going on, but Morgan’s team wins.
We then cut to some guy named “The Pope”. He’s giving a promo about himself, which every wrestler does early in their career. The difference is, I’m totally buying this. I like “The Pope.” No, I LOVE “The Pope.” In fact, The Pope reminds me of another wrestler who didn’t like to use his real name: The Rock. Yes, I said it. The Pope reminds me of The Rock. If he wrestles half as good as he talks, I just might have to start watching TNA again.
This promo is broken up by another new face in TNA: Orlando Jordan. Former WWE United States Champion and…well, that’s it, really. He walks around talking down to The Pope like Jordan’s been on top of some mountain, but then we remember that he spent most of his time as JBL’s bus boy, and we don’t care. Jordan says he’s got a meeting with Hulk Hogan, but again, no one really cares. Off he goes. Also, he’s walking around with a 5-Hour Energy drink in his hand, so nice product placement. Why does he need that for a meeting with Hulk?
ONE-ON-ONE MATCH: Desmond Wolfe vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero
Both these men are tremendous young stars with bright and beautiful futures. They have tremendous ring-presence and feel like big-time athletes. This is the first time I have seen either of these men in action, and I must say I was very, very impressed.
Desmond Wolfe has a great technical style that contrasts well with The Pope’s quick, high-impact offense. The great thing about Wolfe’s moves is that they look genuinely painful. I love when announcers can look at a move and tell the audience that an arm was never meant to bend that way. That validates everything that is going on in the ring, and Wolfe and Dinero did a great job of selling all of it. I can’t wait to see these guys rise to the top of the ranks. I’m so much more interested in this match than any of what Hogan, Bischoff, Nash, or even Foley is doing. Why waste time with these men when we could be enjoying matches like this?
Dinero gets the win in a quick finish to a match that really could’ve gone either way.
After the match we see Jeff Jarrett is here in the iMPACT Zone. We assume he will be coming out to speak to the fans. Honestly, how many bosses do we need? We have Dixie Carter, Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Mick Foley, and now Jeff Jarrett? Who’s in charge of who? What’s the chain of command?
Meanwhile, Jeremy Borash is trying to get to the bottom of the assaults backstage, but he can’t, because Hulk Hogan’s good buddy Bubba “The Love Sponge” is going to take the mic from JB and do it for him. I sense a trend starting. I realize JB is just a backstage interviewer, but he’s a staple of TNA and to see him trampled by Hogan’s friend is just disrespectful both to Borash and the loyal TNA fans.
So now that we’re 2/3 of the way through the show, let’s replay the 20-minute confrontation between Hulk and everyone that took place, oh, half an hour ago. That should hold us over until the 10:00-11:00 hour.
We come back from that to hear Mike Tennay telling us how Bischoff and Hogan’s fingerprints are all over this edition of iMPACT. And this is good how, exactly?
With all the old faces showing up, it’s good to see A.J. Styles as Champion. Keep the Originals in the spotlight, and all else will fix itself in time. He’s just been told that the match from the upcoming Genesis Pay-Per-View, y’know, the one with A.J. Styles and Kurt Angle facing off for the World Championship, has been moved to tonight. So congratulations to TNA for giving away a heavily publicized PPV main event for free. Incidentally I seem to recall WCW doing that quite a few times, and look at how that turned out. They also keep talking about it like Kurt and A.J. have never faced off before, but I seem to remember a lengthy feud between the two centering around Kurt’s ex-wife Karen and her alleged affair with Styles. But y’know, I guess the fact that they’re still putting out the same main even almost two years later is just good business.
HOUR 2: 9:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.
So Jarrett comes out to a huge ovation. This is, after all, his baby. And it’s the biggest night in the history of his company. But by the time Jarrett comes out here, we’re tired of people talking. Honestly, they could’ve put all the talking segments into one hour that we could’ve skipped over. Between Hogan, Bischoff, Nash, Hall, Pac, and now Jarrett, we’ve wasted enough time talking about how big this night is GOING to be, we need to start MAKING IT BIG.
Jarrett starts talking about starting TNA and humble beginnings and I never dreamed it would be this huge and…hey, wait a minute…didn’t Jeff give the same speech a year or two ago when he came back to feud with Kurt Angle? Jeff also basically tells Hogan “I told you so” by implying that he wanted the Hulkster in TNA long ago, but “the timing just wasn’t right”. Jeff then touts, “I gave young guys a chance.”
Um…have you SEEN your roster lately?
He then talks about his great talent pool: TNA Tag Team Champions Beer Money, Samoa Joe, and World Champion A.J. Styles. Coincidentally, we haven’t seen any of those guys tonight thus far, save for a promo by Styles. Of course you’re going to talk up your talent, that’s your job.
Jarrett tantalizes us by telling us “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
You’re right, we haven’t. You’re so busy talking we haven’t had a chance to see anything really new or fresh.
Then the most infuriating moment of the night shows up when Hogan appears on the big screen and threatens to have Jarrett escorted from HIS OWN SHOW. Hogan says Jarrett ran TNA into the ground. Really? Then how do you explain tonight? That aside, didn’t Hogan and Bischoff do that to WCW? What right does Hogan have?
Hogan, the star attraction, the whole reason this night is happening, is now getting booed. He then starts talking up Dixie Carter and how great she is for saving Jarrett’s company. It’s so clear Hogan has been brainwashed by his corporate handlers. Even die-hard fans began booing him. Hogan then tells Jarrett that he is under the microscope just like every other talent.
So now Jeff Jarrett, the founder of TNA, has to prove his worth in his own company?
This is the worst segment of the night, possibly in TNA history. It’s a slap in the face to Jeff Jarrett, and the fans who stood by him and his company for the past seven years. This is the type of garbage fans were afraid of, and the type of garbage that will drive them away in droves if it continues. Hogan should be thanking Jarrett for such a top tier position and having the power that he does. I realize it is Dixie Carter pulling the strings, but to treat Jarrett like he has no authority in a company he founded is basically giving the finger to Jeff and the loyal TNA fans who have been there from the beginning.
In an interview backstage, Christopher Daniels says his strength of character will shine through to upper management. Well, it would, if Mick Foley’s arrival inside the arena didn’t completely eclipse him.
Jeff Hardy is seen backstage with Shannon Moore who is watching Jeff…paint. Yes, paint, as in canvas, brush, etc. Wow. That is very extreme. Jeff is then surrounded by a throng of (three) female fans from age 8-15. Jeff gives his painting to the middle girl and even pecks her on the cheek before climbing into his stylish yellow sports car and blazing off into the sunset. So Jeff is an aesthetically-gifted pro wrestling pedophile. Awesome.
I guess the moment was kind of sweet and harmless, but we’re looking for Jeff Hardy the “Extreme Enigma” that we saw in WWE, not the calm “at peace with the world” Jeff Hardy that paints pictures in his locker room. How is that extreme?
ONE-ON-ONE MATCH: Abyss vs. Samoa Joe
Abyss comes out first. Why does everyone have to wear a hooded cloak these days? They used to be cool, but not we have Morgan, Abyss, and Styles all coming out with some hooded vestment or other. It just feels like someone was handing them out backstage one day and everyone decided they needed one. Abyss already has a mask; what does he need a cloak for?
It was originally promoted as Abyss vs. Rhino. But, as Mike Tennay said, “Hogan, Bischoff, you’ve done it again.” Yes, you squashed that nice and quick. Now we have Abyss vs. Joe. Not sure this is such a blockbuster change, but things stopped making sense a long time ago.
Joe finally has a real theme. I remember when it had no beat and no lyrics, it was just that same brooding low-key melody and some drums. Now it has a beat, it has lyrics, it has power. Thank God.
I’m still tired of Abyss. He reminds me too much of Mankind and there’s really not much that can be done with him that hasn’t already been done. He’s played every angle from the old Mick Foley/Cactus Jack masochist to an Undertaker-like dark, brooding mystery man with a twisted father. He needs to take the mask off or spice up his gimmick somehow. If she’s not going to be world champion, they need to find a spot for him. Right now he’s sort of a monster without a cause.
Joe has great momentum at the start, but one kick from Abyss sends Joe reeling. That’s a bit inconsistent. Abyss also chokeslams Joe, which makes Abyss look great, but why are we trying so hard to get Abyss over? There’s no real face or heel, so there’s no one to really root for, and no one really gains anything as a result of this match, so it falls a bit flat. Joe should be booed for using a chair on Abyss, but he’s not. Finally Abyss sort of taps out to Joe’s choke hold. I mean, I guess he tapped. He just kind of slammed his hand on the mat. Once. I was under the impression that a tap was a series of taps on the mat. Has anyone ever seen someone fight out of the Sharpshooter or the Kurt Angle’s Ankle Lock? The victim usually slams his hand down on the mat a couple of times to get some strength and resolve, then finds a way to get out of the hold. Abyss slams his hand down, and suddenly the match is over. I was a bit shocked at how quickly it ended.
Meanwhile, Alex Shelley finally wakes up backstage. Let me just say that if I ever woke up from being knocked out to find Bubba “The Love Sponge” standing over me jabbering on about it, I wouldn’t be very happy.
The Nasty Boys are still outside and security still won’t let them in. It’s ridiculous to think that two guys that Hogan invited to the show can’t get in. I mean, isn’t he in charge? Foley, Pac, and Hall I can understand because Foley was banned and the other two “weren’t supposed to be there”. But the Nasty Boys? Also, the idea that security has been tightened down and they’re not letting anyone in has been rammed down our throats all night long to the point where getting in seemed more like a game than a challenge. Nevertheless, Bubba “The Love Sponge”, who is suddenly outside the building, drapes an arm around the security guard and guides him away from the door while gesturing frantically behind his back for the Nasty Boys to head inside. Very smooth, Bubba, very smooth. Anyone who thinks this would work in real life should probably not be watching wrestling. Cheers to TNA for having the stupidest security guards in the world.
We get an interview with Kurt Angle. Apparently things have simmered down between him and A.J. since last I saw them fight and the two have found some mutual respect for each other, but honestly, where is Kurt’s gold medal? He’s wearing some kind of dog tag or something. I haven’t watched in a while, but since when does Kurt show up without his medals? I’m being nitpicky here, but it just seems odd to me, and on a night like this, I would think he’d want to be wearing them.
Also, it would’ve been smart of TNA to air a video package highlighting the past battles of Kurt and A.J. Once again, if you’re a new fan, you’re pretty much left in the dark, with some vague references to something that happened some time ago between the two. That’s engaging storytelling, right?
The Nasty Boys are in, and decide the best locker room for them would be a tag team locker room. So they invade Team 3D’s locker room (Brother Ray and D-Von are over in Japan) and spray paint their names all over it. I assume this will lead up to some kind of feud, but honestly, there’s nothing left for either team to do in the business, so there’s really no point.
With all that’s going on backstage, it’s hard to imagine why Ric Flair hasn’t said a thing since walking into A.J. Styles’ locker room.
And here’s your main event.
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: TNA World Heavyweight Champion A.J. Styles vs. Kurt Angle
I like the little “tale of the tape” as both men make their way down the ramp. It’s not much, but it’s a nice touch and helps give it that “big match” feel. We hear something about how Kurt feuded with Desmond Wolfe, which makes me wonder why he isn’t higher up the ladder or why we didn’t hear about it during Wolfe’s match with Dinero. Again, you need to hook the new fans and it helps to tie things together for them. If they can connect the dots with wrestlers, they have a history to follow, they get to know them better. Just referencing things in passing isn’t going to do it.
I will also admit that A.J. Styles is still my favorite wrestler in the locker room. He has charisma, he has a reputation, he has a history, and he’s one of the best in the world today. I was proud to see him as Champion on a night like this. The roof is ready to come off this place before the two even lock up. The crowd is split with no clear face or heel. These guys are great, and the fans just want some great wrestling. A.J. is attacked by a masked man during the match, whom Kurt promptly throws out of the ring. Kurt then helps A.J. to his feet in a nice show of respect and waits a moment for Styles to get his bearings before the match continues.
We come back from commercial to hear what a “wrestling classic” this is. The “wrestling classic” is then cut off by yet another set of commercials.
These two really do dance extremely well together. They have tremendous chemistry that reminds me of The Rock vs. Austin and HBK vs. Bret. They read each other perfectly, and I never saw them miss a beat the entire match. Also it should be noted that this match started around 10:30, not like the WWE main events that start at 10:50, go for five minutes, and then end in DQ which we talk about until 11:05.
Speaking of WWE, the fans seemed to be suddenly reminded that they’re head to head with Raw because in light of the incredible action, they start chanting “Who needs Bret?” I realize this is supposed to get under Vince’s skin, but I don’t think Bret Hart would appreciate that very much either. The problem with fans is that if Bret showed up on TNA TV, they’d be chanting “Who needs Vince?” So it really has nothing to do with Bret himself. It has everything to do with their dislike of Monday Night Raw and WWE in general.
The Angle Slam from the top rope was epic. This was a PPV quality match. Ric Flair appears on the ramp, but he doesn’t really interfere, and as quick as he’s there, he’s gone. Tennay says Spike is going to stay with this match until they have a winner, but just as he says that, they cut to commercial.
The end of the match boils down to a series of Styles Clashes and Ankle Locks. As a rule, I don’t like it when wrestlers use their finishers more than once, maybe twice in a match. It is called a finisher for a reason. I don’t care what the move is, if you can’t put your opponent down in two finishing moves, you need to use something more powerful. I was never that impressed with the Styles Clash, but the fact that A.J. uses it about four times in this match made me wonder why he didn’t just save it for last. Similarly, A.J. continues to fight out of the Ankle Lock, but that doesn’t stop Kurt from applying it over and over. Styles eventually wins with a splash, but the two share the victory. The show should’ve ended right there, with Angle and Styles giving respect to each other and to the fans, with the crowd cheering for them, the company, everyone involved.
Instead, Hulk Hogan comes out onto the ramp and just kind of nods his head in approval. Since when do these guys need Hulk Hogan to tell them how good they are? Since when has anyone cared what Hulk Hogan thinks of A.J. Styles or Kurt Angle? These are two world-class athletes, arguably the two best wrestlers in the world today, and they need Hulk Hogan’s approval? Can you imagine what would happen if Hulk even thought about getting rid of either one of these men? Fans would be outraged. So don’t tell me that Hogan has to come out and give them a big thumbs-up. They know they did a great job, they don’t need to hear it from Dixie Carter’s new mouthpiece.
Hogan says “We made history tonight, blah blah blah”, we know, we know. Then Hogan gets told there’s a disturbance backstage, and the Hulkster leaves the iMPACT Zone to investigate.
Apparently the Beautiful People don’t suck that much at Poker because they’re still clothed before Mick Foley bursts into the room and asks Val where Hogan’s office is. Val tells him it’s down the hall and to the left. I’m not really sure what his idea of “Down the hall and to the left is”, because Foley, who obviously knew where Hogan’s office was, makes a right past the Poker room, goes down the hall, makes a few twists through the corridors and comes to a door on the left. He gets there to find Bischoff in Hogan’s seat. After a short spat with Bisch, Foley is attacked by nWo 2.0 (Nash, Hall, and Pac). Conveniently, Hogan enters the room just as the fight ends, and the show fades to black.
I’m not sure how well this new administration will work for TNA. Turning Hulk Hogan corporate will probably backfire. Fans don’t like conformity in wrestling. They want diversity, and, if the Attitude Era has taught us anything, they want rebellion. They wanna see the suits get beat. I don’t know if they plant to turn Hogan as a corporate heel, but it may be the best thing for them at this point. Reform the nWo, only this time, use it to keep the Bischoff Administration in place.
For all the talk of change, nothing really seemed all that different. I suppose it is a work in progress, but it better come quick. TNA has made a huge promise to the fans, and if they don’t deliver, the fans will leave them just as quickly as they left WWE. Right now I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’ve seen all this before in some far off promotion that no longer exists…
Let me first start by saying that the night in question was much more important to TNA than it was to WWE. WWE essentially had nothing to fear from a company that is not even a decade old and with a fraction of WWE's budget. This was never more apparent than when TNA announced a three-hour spectacular to christen this new war.
I will also say that I watched TNA regularly for about a year from 2008 to early 2009. Then my DVR quit and I never got around to rescheduling it to tape iMPACT, so while I'm familiar with most of the talent, I'm pretty blank on what is going in angle-wise. This is an advantage, however, since I can look at this without the same bias I have for WWE Raw, which I rarely miss.
TNA also had the advantage of starting at 8:00 p.m., which gave them an hour to rope in as many wrestling fans as possible and give them as many reasons as they could not to change the channel. So I will break down TNA's program into three segments: one for each hour of programming.
HOUR 1: 8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Let me start off by saying that the atmosphere in TNA throughout the night was amazing, and is the kind of atmosphere that WWE would kill for every week. TNA went outside to the waiting crowd and interviewed their audience before the show even started and you could feel the energy in each fan. A lot of them talked smack to Vince McMahon and WWE in general, which I personally don't agree with, but that is beside the point.
STEEL ASSYLUM MATCH: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Kioshi vs. Homicide vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red
I had a few problems with this match, but the idea of having one of your most unique gimmick matches as an opener, especially for new fans, is a good idea. Unfortunately, whenever you have that many people in the ring, eventually the whole thing gets dragged down as the wrestlers try to figure out exactly how to keep the spotlight on the two main men in the ring while not looking like they're bored out of their minds.
The battle with Machismo and Shelley on the cage was anti-climactic as eventually, they just kind of fell back to the canvas. The action was fast-paced, but perhaps so much so that no one could really keep up with what was going on.
Which brings me to my next point.
The structure of this cage is AWFUL. Just AWFUL. I mean, let's look at classic steel cage matches from WWE and WCW and you will see that even the old school cages were not nearly as involved as this. Making it red was the worst idea ever because red has a tendency to override everything else in the picture. The bars are much too many and too thick, which means that even if your cameraman is doing his job right, he has to cross his fingers and hope there is enough open space between the bars to get the shot he's looking for. There is a reason WWE uses mesh on it's cages: it is easy to see through yet it still looks like you can't get out and it will hurt if you slam someone into it.
Also, the dome at the top did nothing but slow this match down. Trying to climb up and through it seemed especially difficult for anyone involved. It's a shame, because the rest of the match was so nicely paced, but in the end, it lead to a dead stand-still.
Speaking of the end of the match, TNA shot itself in the foot...no, in the face when it let this match end in disqualification. Fans of WWE have been complaining for years at the number of matches that end in DQ, so TNA offers fans a chance at something different by...pulling the exact same stunt. Fans chanting "This is bullshit" after your opening match on the biggest show in your company's history is never a good sign. At the end, Homicide tried in vain to get through the top of the cage, but clearly had too difficult a time. Also, why didn't they open the cage when the match was over? Watching Homicide struggle on the structure was a waste of about two minutes, but it all works out I suppose because the only thing people will remember is:
Jeff Hardy showing up in TNA. Out of nowhere some music hits and we see Jeff making his way through the crowd. He's high-fiving everyone in sight, gets over the barricade, and over to the ringside area before being attacked by Homicide. Jeff then beats the crap out of him before scaling the cage from the outside, a feat much easier than the interior scaling his downed adversary attempted earlier. The segment ended with Jeff sitting prominently atop the steel.
I can understand Jeff's move here, but I fear he may have burned a rather valuable bridge with Vince McMahon now that he has openly chosen to sign with the rival organization. Still, Jeff has done what is best for Jeff, and that is all that matters, and his presence can only help TNA as he draws money and fans wherever he goes.
TNA also still suffers from what I like to call Instant Replay Syndrome. This is when a program insists on replaying events over and over again despite the fact that we've already seen them. I mentioned this also in my WWE Raw review. I understand that you want people who are just tuning to see what they've missed so that they'll never make that mistake again, but for people who were already tuned in, it comes off as shoving your product down my throat and eventually the initial shock and awe fades into becoming "Okay, okay! I know!"
The crowd is still rocked by Jeff's arrival when he makes his way backstage and is greeted by Shannon Moore. This would've been a great moment if we could hear what the hell they were SAYING! Instead we're stuck listening to Mike Tennay and Tazz spout off about how great it is to have Jeff in TNA. WE KNOW! NOW LET US EXPERIENCE JEFF HERE IN TNA!
Unfortunately this moment is almost instantly overshadowed by Hulk Hogan who is seen riding in his limo to the arena...with a police escort.
Really? A police escort? Since when do wrestlers need police escorts? Of course, I need to remember that Hogan is not here to wrestle. I mean, Vince McMahon receiving a police escort makes sense because he's the boss and he's worth a billion dollars. I suppose I need to start thinking of Hogan as the boss and not simply as a face there to boost ratings and sell t-shirts.
From a business standpoint, I suppose watching Hulk make his way to the arena is the same as watching a plane land at an airport: the anticipation builds dramatically. Unfortunately, for the home audience, we all knew Hulk would be there, and teasing us does nothing really to build that anticipation. It just annoys me because he should already be there. What kind of boss misses this kind of premiere event by an HOUR? He's the kind of boss that switches jobs on a regular basis.
I don't know why, but I really liked Kevin Nash's promo. It wasn't about energy, it was simply a man talking to the camera. It was a long way off from the strict, wooden, scripted promos of WWE. After a few minutes of recounting his friendship with the Hulkster, Nash reveals that Hogan won't be coming alone. This makes me wonder: will there be an nWo revival? Nash also mentions that whatever company Hogan has worked for has always been the biggest company in the industry. This would be true...if it weren't for the fact that he helped run WCW into the ground.
And with the realization that Hulk is bringing some friends, we get our first real wiff of another epidemic in wrestling, and particularly TNA: the WCW virus.
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: TNA Knockouts Champion Tara vs. ODB
It was great to see Tara (formerly Victoria in WWE). Seeing her here really felt refreshing. She looks to be in amazing shape and hasn't missed a beat.
Obviously, the selling point of TNA's Knockout Division is that they don't simply hire supermodels to wrestle. The women look real and the wrestling is much more dynamic than WWE's brand. ODB is the epitome of this division: a female version of Steve Austin, coming out complete with flask. I've never been a fan of ODB as I think her gimmick is a bit forced, but it certainly catches everyone's attention and sets TNA apart.
Unfortunately, women's wrestling is still not as fluid as the men. You can see them setting up for moves way in advance, and with TNA's fast-paced action, it is harder for the women to keep up. That's not to say they aren't good at what they do: these are world-class athletes as good as, and sometimes better, than their WWE counterparts. Even Amy Dumas, formerly known as WWE's Lita, admitted in her book that women's wrestling just can't keep up with the guys. Part of this is because management is more protective of their female roster. Nevertheless, this is a strong showing here.
I didn't know TNA had a separate tag division for their Knockouts, and to this I ask, "Is your roster really big enough for that?" I tend to think not.
There really was no clear face or heel. Both women have tremendous followings, and fans chanted for both throughout the match. ODB wins this match by grabbing Tara's tights in the schoolboy (or schoolgirl) roll-up, but oddly enough, no one says anything. Granted, it is difficult to reverse a referee's decision, but even the announcers, after sighting that ODB grabbed the tights, don't dispute the win, but merely accept the fact that ODB is the new Knockouts Champion. Odd, to say the least.
Tara gets revenge here by knocking out ODB and laying a scorpion on her chest. This reminds me, and probably a lot of other fans, of Jake "The Snake" Roberts back in the day, but it was great to see a woman put out that kind of message. Very strong, very scary.
Again, this is overshadowed by a classic "bait and switch" of Hogan's arrival. A limo pulls up, but it's not Hogan. It's someone else.
It's Ric Flair!
Flair gets out of the limo to a cascade of "Woo!"'s from the crowd. He quickly makes his way toward the locker room of TNA World Heavyweight Champion A.J. Styles.
Having Flair there was a great moment, and a colossal achievement for TNA, but it came with that used, WCW smell to it.
So we find Mick Foley, a man who once held great power in the company, banned from the arena. Now, here's the problem I have with this program in general:
TNA is trying to cultivate new fans, possibly ex-WWE purists, but they don't present their product in a way that is accessible to people who don't watch it every week. We hear some vague reference to Foley saying something to someone that was bad enough to get him banned from the iMPACT Zone. Hey...here's an idea: let's see a recap of what Foley said! Instead we are left wondering why this hardcore legend would be banned from this star-studded night: the "biggest night in company history". Also, the irony of Hogan ousting Foley from his position of power was not lost on me.
Bobby Lashely, yet another of TNA's ex-WWE stars, makes his way to the ring, still lacking all the charisma he did back in WWE. But this time he has something better with him: his wife. And, fortunately for Bobby, his wife does all the talking.
It's a bit sad that Mrs. Lashley seemed to possess infinitely more charisma than her husband. I wonder what that says about Lashley...or WWE...or TNA for that matter.
Anyway, apparently Lashley wants out of his contract, so he demands that Eric Bischoff cut the leash. There's no response at the time, so the Lashleys just leave the ring. Odd that Lashley picks the grandest stage in the company's history to LEAVE it. Another bit of irony there for those who were dying for more.
A former WWE star leaving TNA. Let's hope this isn't a trend.
The segments with the Beautiful People are barely worth mentioning. If you thought the "dumb blonde" stint that WWE's Maria played early in her career was bad, it's hard to imagine how the Beautiful People can look themselves in the mirror. They decide to play strip poker for the night, which is insulting because we all know we won't get to see anything anyway, but we're supposed to stay tuned to see what happens.
Again, we're told Hogan is on his way.
NOTE TO TNA: WE KNOW!
As if things weren't nostalgic enough, who should show up outside but Scott Hall and Sean Waltman (X-Pac). They want in, but of course, no one will let them in.
TNA then puts out the most useless segment of the night. We see Hulk's limo stop to meet another limo. Someone gets out of the waiting limo and into Hulk's. Hulk's limo then proceeds on it's way to the arena it should've been at 45 minutes ago.
This would all be intriguing, except Kevin Nash already told us Hulk wasn't coming alone. So now we know he's really not coming alone. Excellent.
Scott Hall and X-Pac show up in the iMPACT Zone to remind us all of how they crashed Monday Nitro. Clearly TNA is taking a fresh, new direction.
And then TNA makes themselves look incredibly stupid. We come back from commercial so that Mike Tennay can tell you what will happen when we come back from commercial. So basically the past 3 segments (or about 10 precious minutes of your life in which you could've been lamenting about your favorite colored M&M) were wasted in preparation for Hulk Hogan's arrival. Clearly TNA is just wasting time to get to the head of the 9:00 hour so they can keep people from switching to Raw after they let their star attraction loose.
HOUR 2: 9:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.
This is it. This is for all the marbles. This is the moment where TNA hopes to plant its flag in the fertile ground of a new, more competitive professional wrestling market. This is where the landscape of the entire industry supposedly changes.
And it does. Unfortunately, this doesn’t feel so much like a step forward so much as an exercise in déjà vu.
This is both the most thrilling, and most ridiculous segment of the night.
At long last, “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan emerges onto the TNA stage, and makes his way into the iMPACT Zone.
The first thing I like about this is that Hogan comes out to a remixed version of the old nWo theme. This is instantly recognizable and 1,000 times more relevant than the throwback appeal of WWE’s “Real American” ballad.
I may not be a Hogan fan by nature, but his charisma is undeniable. The atmosphere is amazing, again, this is BIG. Hogan makes his Triple H-like 12-minute stroll down to the ring where we wait another five minutes before the chanting dies down. The announce team also makes the point that Hulk’s daughter Brooke is in the audience, which makes me worried that TNA will turn into “Hogan Knows Best 2.0”.
As you may have guessed, this segment quickly took a turn for the worse as far as I’m concerned. The nWo theme is relevant, but Hogan himself is dressed in black and white. So it’s kind of a slap in the face to all the fans who shelled out the $25 for the classic “Hulkamania” t-shirts. No red and yellow? Kind of kills the climax.
The Hogan says the stupidest thing he could possibly say:
“I’ve been in the back all day long.” Apparently Hulk has been talking to the talent all day about how big this night is.
Really? You’ve been in the back all day? Then maybe you could explain why it took you an HOUR to get to the arena? Maybe you could explain why we wasted about 20 minutes showing footage of your motorcade making their way to the show? This is just horrible work by TNA. It’s insulting to the fans to know that Hulk was there long before we’re meant to believe he was, and the inconsistency is just sloppy.
Hulk continues to talk himself into a hole, and it’s clear what his aim is here in TNA. Example:
“There’s a lot of old faces in the back that are ready to gear up.
Wow. That sounds like exactly what TNA needs: more has-beens to crowd a roster already chock full of veterans. Is this really the “fresh” new direction TNA is looking for? Is this a rebirth, or a throwback? They can’t seem to decide just yet.
Now we see Hall and Pac trying to get to the ring to confront Hogan. We’re supposed to think that they are “invading” the show, but judging by the fact that we saw them outside fighting with security, we know this is a work. WWE did a much better job when Matt Hardy “invaded” Monday Night Raw to attack Edge. Not to mention WCW did a much better job when Hall and Nash invaded their show over a decade ago.
Hogan tells security to let them in. Now we KNOW it’s a work, because who would let anyone into a show who wasn’t supposed to be there? No one. I don’t care how well you know them, the risks you take by putting them in a position to ruin your product (I mean, they HAND Scott Hall a microphone) far outweighs the trust garnered by any friendship, past or present.
So they’re in the ring now. The fans are electric. The energy is at its highest. We’re not sure if they’re here to join Hogan or ally against him. They’re cheering, they’re chanting. This goes on for a while. Then Hogan repeats his offer to let Hall and Pac say whatever it is they have to say, though he doesn’t seemed too thrilled to see them. The chanting continues, and we suddenly get the feeling that the only person missing from this picture is Kevin Nash. Then Hall puts the mic to his lips and spits:
“Say hello to the bad guy.”
Um, “Hello, Bad Guy. Now WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
I realize this is Hall’s catchphrase and everything, but COME ON! All this anticipation and that’s the best you’ve got? We all know who you are. Now WHY ARE YOU HERE?
So the bottom line is that Hall and Pac think this is going to be easy money, like in WCW. They’re going to make a killing burying the young talent and reclaiming the spotlight they lost years ago when WCW went under. Of course, this is one of the primary reasons WCW DID go under. Hogan then assures Hall and Pac that “This is a different time.”
WELL, DAMNIT! I WANTED AN nWo REUNION!
Sean Waltman then makes the most relevant point when he tells Hogan he sees right through this. It’s the same place, and the same people, and h e doubts things will be different.
That is the most intelligent thing I’ve EVER heard out of Sean Waltman, and at this point, I couldn’t agree more.
Hogan assures us all that “It’s gonna be totally different this time.” He then goes on to tell us how the new TNA will operate, how spots will not be handed out, and how everyone will have to earn their spot in the company. Hall and Pac continue to voice their doubts and their hopes, while Hogan counters.
Does this sound like an infomercial to anyone else?
“It’s time we grow up and we do the right thing for the business, brother.” Hogan is basically telling Hall and Pac that if they stay with TNA they will most likely be jobbing to the younger guys. But what about doing the right thing for the business? Is it the right thing for the business to bring in a bunch of your friends to take top billing from the TNA Originals?
Maybe I’m jumping the gun here. After all, we’ve wasted so much time talking that we haven’t actually seen any changes. Maybe these veterans didn’t want to be remembered as people who helped bury one of the biggest wrestling promotions in history. Maybe they wanted to reconcile their past transgressions and rewrite the last chapter of their careers with a brighter pen. Let’s go with that. It gives me hope in an atmosphere that is looking more and more hopeless by the minute.
Finally we hear the familiar riff and “Big Sexy” Kevin Nash strolls down to the ring. This is officially an nWo reunion. With all these stars in the ring, all with historic pasts in the industry, it was smart of TNA to save this for the 9:00-9:30 segment of the show. Unfortunately for TNA, this takes up pretty much ALL of the 9:00-9:30 segment.
On a complete sidenote, I love Waltman has about 3 different names. For those unfamiliar with him, Sean Waltman started in WCW as the 1-2-3 Kid. He was also most famously known as X-Pac through WWE’s Attitude Era. As a result, he is called “Sean”, “Kid”, or “Pac” interchangeably throughout a single conversation. This would seem cool if the use of past monikers didn’t scream “identity crisis”.
Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Sean “Kid/Pac” Waltman, and Hulk Hogan are now standing in the middle of the ring, and you feel like it really is a sacred fraternity of brotherhood here. Their friendships go way back to before WCW. They are some of the longest-running veterans still actively employed in the business. The memories come flooding back. This is what TNA was looking for. This is why this night was so huge.
And then Kevin Nash breaks up the nostalgia by siding with Pac and Hall.
This makes no sense to me. Kevin Nash has been employed by TNA longer than anyone else in that ring. Sure the others have had brief stints, but Kevin Nash has been prominently featured in the company, from mentoring Samoa Joe, to main-eventing Pay-Per-View matches. If anything, Nash should be kissing TNA’s backside for everything they’ve given him. Instead he tells Hulk that he’s just looking for good money. He doesn’t really care how the company is run, but he doesn’t want to lose his spot in it.
Last but not least, Eric Bischoff makes his way into the iMPACT Zone.
Now, maybe this all makes sense to everyone else. Maybe for TNA this feels big and fresh and new. But in an hour and a half, TNA has gone from looking like Total Nonstop Action to becoming the carbon copy of World Championship Wrestling. With Nash, Hall, Pac, Hogan, and now Bischoff literally taking center stage in a promotion that pledged to give “young guys their shot”, this has officially become WCW 2.0.
Eric Bischoff is still bragging about beating WWE in the ratings some 86 weeks in a row back in the day. He talks about revolutionizing the business, changing the pro wrestling landscape, blah blah blah. There’s a reason none of this means anything anymore. Actually, there are two.
The first is that this happened about 10 years ago, when half the present audience could barely pronounce the wrestlers’ names. Sure, everyone remembers it. But it has zero, yes, ZERO impact (no pun intended) on the current product. When you’re WCW, you can brag about beating Raw in the ratings 86 weeks in a row. You’re not. Which brings me to the second reason.
After beating Raw in the ratings for those two or three months, Vince McMahon’s product kicked you so hard in the rear that you were forced to sell out. So now that little spot on your resume where you used to put “beat Raw 86 weeks in a row” should now read “ran WCW into the ground.” So really, Bischoff’s reputation isn’t so much about how he ran the company as it is about his on-screen personality, and for the current audience (anyone that’s been watching wrestling in the last five years), this reputation comes from his stint as General Manager of, yes, you guessed it, Monday Night Raw: the show that put him out of business.
Bischoff reminds us that in the “new” TNA, “Everybody has got to earn their position in this company.” For example: Hulk Hogan, Mick Foley, Kevin Nash, Eric Bischoff…
Oh, wait.
Generally, I like this policy. On paper it can be seen as a practice put in place to keep guys like Hogan, Nash, and Hall from overshadowing guys like A.J. Styles, Samoa Joe, or even Awesome Kong. Bischoff doesn’t care what your position in the company is: top management, the guys setting up the ring, a wrestler, a Knockout, an announcer, or a cameraman; you will be under the scrutiny of TNA’s new administration and your spot could be in jeopardy. This all makes sense to me. It’s very straight-forward, but after a while it starts to feel like Bisch is ramming this idea down our throats.
Also, why are you giving this lecture to the fans? Why is this speech being given in the iMPACT Zone instead of the locker room? Cooperate propaganda like this needs to be saved for management and employees. Why does it matter to fans how the wrestlers earn their spot? You think anyone really cares how “Stone Cold” Steve Austin became the biggest name in WWF history? You think anyone cares about the pecking order backstage?
When good, smart booking is involved, it is always crystal clear why wrestlers are used the way they are. It usually has to do with their talent and/or charisma. They are either strong workers who can carry themselves and others through a match, or they are weak performers who are used to get other wrestlers over. Fans either like them or they don’t. In either case, fans don’t need to be bothered with backstage politics. If we want to know about them, we will look it up online, on the TNA website, or wherever. It doesn’t need to be aired during your biggest show ever. It doesn’t need to be aired at all. I don’t care how people earn their spots, just show me a better product.
Of course, the irony of all this is that while he’s talking up the new TNA policy, Bischoff and Co. are basically telling us that WCW was a horribly run enterprise.
So after giving his rally speech, Bischoff says changes are happening right now. As in RIGHT NOW. He actually grabs a show format (the paper that says what matches/segments happen when) and tears it up in the middle of the ring. Wow. So I guess change means breaking kayfabe.
This makes me think that Bisch is at least going to give the illusion of improvisation, but he doesn’t. He actually pulls out a ready-made replacement format, announcing that this is what the show will be from this point forward. So all those matches you thought you were going to see, are gone. This is the new format, and that’s the power that Bischoff wields as part of his era of “change”.
Never mind the fact that Americans have been choking on for the past year or two. Let’s think about what Bischoff just did. He tore up the format smack dab in the middle of a live broadcast. For those of you who may not know, this is called “bait and switch”, when a company promises one thing (usually a match) and suddenly changes it at the last minute. Fans don’t like bait and switch, and using simply as a showmanship tactic is just poor business sense.
Speaking of poor business sense, Bischoff mentions he’d looked over the format beforehand and decided it needed some changes. Now, clearly Eric had already decided to implement those changes because he had a new format all printed out and ready to go. So, you knew the original format wasn’t good enough for your biggest show ever, but neglected to implement your changes until you were already half way through it? Again, this is insulting to me, and if I were to believe this was real, I would say that TNA runs its company horribly and probably wouldn’t watch much more of it.
Of course, Hogan gets the last word by asking us “Watchya gonna do when the new TNA runs wild on you…” or something like that. I wasn’t really listening because once he gets into the whole “Watchya gonna do” thing, I feel like I should be watching a commercial on a Saturday morning in 1986.
With that, the segment is FINALLY over. Unfortunately, despite what Tazz and Mike Tennay would have us believe, nothing has really changed in TNA. We’ve just spent the last 20 minutes talking about change, but we haven’t seen any. Bischoff promised us change “right now”, but we don’t know what the card was beforehand, so we can’t really tell if anything has changed at all. For all we know the format Bischoff handed back to management could’ve been a photocopy of the original format. But I guess as long as 90% of the fans believe change is in effect, who really cares about the other 10% that know better?
Finally, we get a shot of Sting up in the rafters and he’s apparently been watching this whole confrontation go down. Good for him. Must be nice and quiet up there. I mean, I guess we should feel some sense of foreboding, but honestly, I think Sting just likes it up there. No one bothers him when he’s hanging out over the ring, and no one ever seems to look for him there despite that fact that it’s his only hangout spot. And if they know he’s there, they obviously don’t care enough to have security chase him out of there. Still, the most exciting aspect of this shot is that Ric Flair and Sting are in the same building on the same wrestling show. That’s pretty awesome. I personally would rather have seen Sting and Flair talk for 20 minutes than put up with another 30 seconds of Dixie Carter’s…oops, I mean Hulk Hogan’s policies.
And now that all the hullabaloo is over, TNA reminds us that this is, in fact, a wrestling show by showcasing some actual WRESTLING.
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Taylor Wilde & Sarita vs. Awesome Kong & Hamada
It feels really good to get back to the wrestling side of the show. As the action starts, Mike Tennay laments that Kong’s team could be “the most dominant team in women’s professional wrestling.” Just a question, but how many women’s tag teams do you know?
Again, I haven’t watched TNA in almost a year, but I think Taylor Wilde looks and performs a lot better here with Sarita than she ever did as Knockout Champion. The two have some pretty good chemistry and feel like a team instead of just two people thrown together for the sake of creating a division and a title.
Unfortunately, the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship belts still look like something like I would’ve seen in 1975. Yes, TNA could be going for a more nostalgic appeal (they did have the NWA title to their name for years), but my feeling is that they’re trying to modernize the company and make it more contemporary. The same should hold true for the belts themselves. I mean, look at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. It looks like something men would work their whole life to hold. All of WWE’s titles (except for the terrible Diva’s Championship) look prestigious. Even the modified WWE Title has grown on me now that it’s stopped spinning like someone hit the “Try Me” button in Toys R Us. The TNA World Heavyweight Championship should be the belt that all other belts evolve from.
Also, I think it goes to show you how important TNA holds its Knockout Division tag titles when they cut from the match to show Alex Shelley knocked out in the back by the Wolf Pack…oh…I mean, by an “unknown assailant”. TNA has been using the “cut-away” tactic for as long as I can remember, but it has never really worked for me, and by now, feels very tired. I realize they are trying to give their audience the “anywhere, anytime” feeling, but it is disrespectful in my opinion to the work being done in the ring. Wrestling should always be the focus of the show, not the background against which to paint your picture. Keep the focus on the wrestling and save the rest for the segments in between.
Again, the wrestling is very solid work. Is it just me, or do they keep calling Sarita Sarena? There’s a double-team on Sarita that does essentially nothing. Sometimes I think they just try to throw moves together long enough to make a match. Taylor Wilde comes in with a nice save for her team, and the fans start chanting “this is awesome”. I have to agree, it is.
The finish here by Kong’s team took way too long to set up in an otherwise fast-paced match. The problem with double-team moves is that they have to be implemented quickly, but have enough impact to finish of an opponent. Team 3D (formerly the Dudley Boys) did a great job of making the 3D finisher effortless in each match. Other notable teams are the Hardy Boys and of course, the Rockers for some of the best double-team moves in tag team history. Still, it gets the job done and Kong and Hamada walk away the new TNA Kockout Tag Team Champions.
Back with the Beautiful People, who should show up to this game of Strip Poker than Val Venis? Well, his name isn’t Val Venis, but I’m not sure he has a name because he never tells us what he wants to be called, and he’s never mentioned by the announcers. He simply cautions us not to get too hung up on names and begins shuffling. He does a lot of shuffling. He spends the next minute and a half just shuffling and talking to the girls in sentences packed with innuendo. The shock of Val (or whatever his name is) isn’t as strong as it could be because we’ve already seen Foley, Hall, and Pac invade TNA tonight, not to mention Ric Flair. This is either a case of a poor show format (which I thought Bischoff was supposed to fix) or just the fact that a former WWE mid-carder showing up in TNA isn’t really that big a deal. Either way, it feels kind of like a waste of time.
With the show half over, Mick Foley is still trying to get into the iMPACT Zone. And now, so are the Nasty Boys.
Yes. The Nasty Boys. As if Hulk hadn’t already brought enough “old faces” to TNA…
Speaking of has-beens, here’s our next match!
TAG TEAM MATCH: Raven & Dr. Stevie w/Dafney vs. “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan & Hernandez
Matt Morgan coming out in a cloak is preposterous. Is he trying to be Chris Masters? Who wants to be Chris Masters? What are you trying to hide?
Matt Morgan is the worst example of stereotypes in professional wrestling. In a culture constantly under the microscope for being nothing more than brainless muscle men pumped up on steroids, let’s present this “genetically jacked” star who’s gimmick is being, well, genetically jacked. He has none of the charisma or ferocity of a Bill Goldberg, and while he may be a great athlete for his size, there’s really nothing below the surface here. Is this really “The Blueprint” for your company? Then why is A.J. Styles your champion?
Also, any match in which the entrances take longer than the match itself, really isn’t worth my time here. Morgan gets a huge kick on Dr. Stevie. Raven tries to make it look like he’s trying to break up the three-count, just as Hernandez comes in to kind of look like he almost stopped him. No one’s really sure what’s going on, but Morgan’s team wins.
We then cut to some guy named “The Pope”. He’s giving a promo about himself, which every wrestler does early in their career. The difference is, I’m totally buying this. I like “The Pope.” No, I LOVE “The Pope.” In fact, The Pope reminds me of another wrestler who didn’t like to use his real name: The Rock. Yes, I said it. The Pope reminds me of The Rock. If he wrestles half as good as he talks, I just might have to start watching TNA again.
This promo is broken up by another new face in TNA: Orlando Jordan. Former WWE United States Champion and…well, that’s it, really. He walks around talking down to The Pope like Jordan’s been on top of some mountain, but then we remember that he spent most of his time as JBL’s bus boy, and we don’t care. Jordan says he’s got a meeting with Hulk Hogan, but again, no one really cares. Off he goes. Also, he’s walking around with a 5-Hour Energy drink in his hand, so nice product placement. Why does he need that for a meeting with Hulk?
ONE-ON-ONE MATCH: Desmond Wolfe vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero
Both these men are tremendous young stars with bright and beautiful futures. They have tremendous ring-presence and feel like big-time athletes. This is the first time I have seen either of these men in action, and I must say I was very, very impressed.
Desmond Wolfe has a great technical style that contrasts well with The Pope’s quick, high-impact offense. The great thing about Wolfe’s moves is that they look genuinely painful. I love when announcers can look at a move and tell the audience that an arm was never meant to bend that way. That validates everything that is going on in the ring, and Wolfe and Dinero did a great job of selling all of it. I can’t wait to see these guys rise to the top of the ranks. I’m so much more interested in this match than any of what Hogan, Bischoff, Nash, or even Foley is doing. Why waste time with these men when we could be enjoying matches like this?
Dinero gets the win in a quick finish to a match that really could’ve gone either way.
After the match we see Jeff Jarrett is here in the iMPACT Zone. We assume he will be coming out to speak to the fans. Honestly, how many bosses do we need? We have Dixie Carter, Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Mick Foley, and now Jeff Jarrett? Who’s in charge of who? What’s the chain of command?
Meanwhile, Jeremy Borash is trying to get to the bottom of the assaults backstage, but he can’t, because Hulk Hogan’s good buddy Bubba “The Love Sponge” is going to take the mic from JB and do it for him. I sense a trend starting. I realize JB is just a backstage interviewer, but he’s a staple of TNA and to see him trampled by Hogan’s friend is just disrespectful both to Borash and the loyal TNA fans.
So now that we’re 2/3 of the way through the show, let’s replay the 20-minute confrontation between Hulk and everyone that took place, oh, half an hour ago. That should hold us over until the 10:00-11:00 hour.
We come back from that to hear Mike Tennay telling us how Bischoff and Hogan’s fingerprints are all over this edition of iMPACT. And this is good how, exactly?
With all the old faces showing up, it’s good to see A.J. Styles as Champion. Keep the Originals in the spotlight, and all else will fix itself in time. He’s just been told that the match from the upcoming Genesis Pay-Per-View, y’know, the one with A.J. Styles and Kurt Angle facing off for the World Championship, has been moved to tonight. So congratulations to TNA for giving away a heavily publicized PPV main event for free. Incidentally I seem to recall WCW doing that quite a few times, and look at how that turned out. They also keep talking about it like Kurt and A.J. have never faced off before, but I seem to remember a lengthy feud between the two centering around Kurt’s ex-wife Karen and her alleged affair with Styles. But y’know, I guess the fact that they’re still putting out the same main even almost two years later is just good business.
HOUR 2: 9:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.
So Jarrett comes out to a huge ovation. This is, after all, his baby. And it’s the biggest night in the history of his company. But by the time Jarrett comes out here, we’re tired of people talking. Honestly, they could’ve put all the talking segments into one hour that we could’ve skipped over. Between Hogan, Bischoff, Nash, Hall, Pac, and now Jarrett, we’ve wasted enough time talking about how big this night is GOING to be, we need to start MAKING IT BIG.
Jarrett starts talking about starting TNA and humble beginnings and I never dreamed it would be this huge and…hey, wait a minute…didn’t Jeff give the same speech a year or two ago when he came back to feud with Kurt Angle? Jeff also basically tells Hogan “I told you so” by implying that he wanted the Hulkster in TNA long ago, but “the timing just wasn’t right”. Jeff then touts, “I gave young guys a chance.”
Um…have you SEEN your roster lately?
He then talks about his great talent pool: TNA Tag Team Champions Beer Money, Samoa Joe, and World Champion A.J. Styles. Coincidentally, we haven’t seen any of those guys tonight thus far, save for a promo by Styles. Of course you’re going to talk up your talent, that’s your job.
Jarrett tantalizes us by telling us “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
You’re right, we haven’t. You’re so busy talking we haven’t had a chance to see anything really new or fresh.
Then the most infuriating moment of the night shows up when Hogan appears on the big screen and threatens to have Jarrett escorted from HIS OWN SHOW. Hogan says Jarrett ran TNA into the ground. Really? Then how do you explain tonight? That aside, didn’t Hogan and Bischoff do that to WCW? What right does Hogan have?
Hogan, the star attraction, the whole reason this night is happening, is now getting booed. He then starts talking up Dixie Carter and how great she is for saving Jarrett’s company. It’s so clear Hogan has been brainwashed by his corporate handlers. Even die-hard fans began booing him. Hogan then tells Jarrett that he is under the microscope just like every other talent.
So now Jeff Jarrett, the founder of TNA, has to prove his worth in his own company?
This is the worst segment of the night, possibly in TNA history. It’s a slap in the face to Jeff Jarrett, and the fans who stood by him and his company for the past seven years. This is the type of garbage fans were afraid of, and the type of garbage that will drive them away in droves if it continues. Hogan should be thanking Jarrett for such a top tier position and having the power that he does. I realize it is Dixie Carter pulling the strings, but to treat Jarrett like he has no authority in a company he founded is basically giving the finger to Jeff and the loyal TNA fans who have been there from the beginning.
In an interview backstage, Christopher Daniels says his strength of character will shine through to upper management. Well, it would, if Mick Foley’s arrival inside the arena didn’t completely eclipse him.
Jeff Hardy is seen backstage with Shannon Moore who is watching Jeff…paint. Yes, paint, as in canvas, brush, etc. Wow. That is very extreme. Jeff is then surrounded by a throng of (three) female fans from age 8-15. Jeff gives his painting to the middle girl and even pecks her on the cheek before climbing into his stylish yellow sports car and blazing off into the sunset. So Jeff is an aesthetically-gifted pro wrestling pedophile. Awesome.
I guess the moment was kind of sweet and harmless, but we’re looking for Jeff Hardy the “Extreme Enigma” that we saw in WWE, not the calm “at peace with the world” Jeff Hardy that paints pictures in his locker room. How is that extreme?
ONE-ON-ONE MATCH: Abyss vs. Samoa Joe
Abyss comes out first. Why does everyone have to wear a hooded cloak these days? They used to be cool, but not we have Morgan, Abyss, and Styles all coming out with some hooded vestment or other. It just feels like someone was handing them out backstage one day and everyone decided they needed one. Abyss already has a mask; what does he need a cloak for?
It was originally promoted as Abyss vs. Rhino. But, as Mike Tennay said, “Hogan, Bischoff, you’ve done it again.” Yes, you squashed that nice and quick. Now we have Abyss vs. Joe. Not sure this is such a blockbuster change, but things stopped making sense a long time ago.
Joe finally has a real theme. I remember when it had no beat and no lyrics, it was just that same brooding low-key melody and some drums. Now it has a beat, it has lyrics, it has power. Thank God.
I’m still tired of Abyss. He reminds me too much of Mankind and there’s really not much that can be done with him that hasn’t already been done. He’s played every angle from the old Mick Foley/Cactus Jack masochist to an Undertaker-like dark, brooding mystery man with a twisted father. He needs to take the mask off or spice up his gimmick somehow. If she’s not going to be world champion, they need to find a spot for him. Right now he’s sort of a monster without a cause.
Joe has great momentum at the start, but one kick from Abyss sends Joe reeling. That’s a bit inconsistent. Abyss also chokeslams Joe, which makes Abyss look great, but why are we trying so hard to get Abyss over? There’s no real face or heel, so there’s no one to really root for, and no one really gains anything as a result of this match, so it falls a bit flat. Joe should be booed for using a chair on Abyss, but he’s not. Finally Abyss sort of taps out to Joe’s choke hold. I mean, I guess he tapped. He just kind of slammed his hand on the mat. Once. I was under the impression that a tap was a series of taps on the mat. Has anyone ever seen someone fight out of the Sharpshooter or the Kurt Angle’s Ankle Lock? The victim usually slams his hand down on the mat a couple of times to get some strength and resolve, then finds a way to get out of the hold. Abyss slams his hand down, and suddenly the match is over. I was a bit shocked at how quickly it ended.
Meanwhile, Alex Shelley finally wakes up backstage. Let me just say that if I ever woke up from being knocked out to find Bubba “The Love Sponge” standing over me jabbering on about it, I wouldn’t be very happy.
The Nasty Boys are still outside and security still won’t let them in. It’s ridiculous to think that two guys that Hogan invited to the show can’t get in. I mean, isn’t he in charge? Foley, Pac, and Hall I can understand because Foley was banned and the other two “weren’t supposed to be there”. But the Nasty Boys? Also, the idea that security has been tightened down and they’re not letting anyone in has been rammed down our throats all night long to the point where getting in seemed more like a game than a challenge. Nevertheless, Bubba “The Love Sponge”, who is suddenly outside the building, drapes an arm around the security guard and guides him away from the door while gesturing frantically behind his back for the Nasty Boys to head inside. Very smooth, Bubba, very smooth. Anyone who thinks this would work in real life should probably not be watching wrestling. Cheers to TNA for having the stupidest security guards in the world.
We get an interview with Kurt Angle. Apparently things have simmered down between him and A.J. since last I saw them fight and the two have found some mutual respect for each other, but honestly, where is Kurt’s gold medal? He’s wearing some kind of dog tag or something. I haven’t watched in a while, but since when does Kurt show up without his medals? I’m being nitpicky here, but it just seems odd to me, and on a night like this, I would think he’d want to be wearing them.
Also, it would’ve been smart of TNA to air a video package highlighting the past battles of Kurt and A.J. Once again, if you’re a new fan, you’re pretty much left in the dark, with some vague references to something that happened some time ago between the two. That’s engaging storytelling, right?
The Nasty Boys are in, and decide the best locker room for them would be a tag team locker room. So they invade Team 3D’s locker room (Brother Ray and D-Von are over in Japan) and spray paint their names all over it. I assume this will lead up to some kind of feud, but honestly, there’s nothing left for either team to do in the business, so there’s really no point.
With all that’s going on backstage, it’s hard to imagine why Ric Flair hasn’t said a thing since walking into A.J. Styles’ locker room.
And here’s your main event.
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: TNA World Heavyweight Champion A.J. Styles vs. Kurt Angle
I like the little “tale of the tape” as both men make their way down the ramp. It’s not much, but it’s a nice touch and helps give it that “big match” feel. We hear something about how Kurt feuded with Desmond Wolfe, which makes me wonder why he isn’t higher up the ladder or why we didn’t hear about it during Wolfe’s match with Dinero. Again, you need to hook the new fans and it helps to tie things together for them. If they can connect the dots with wrestlers, they have a history to follow, they get to know them better. Just referencing things in passing isn’t going to do it.
I will also admit that A.J. Styles is still my favorite wrestler in the locker room. He has charisma, he has a reputation, he has a history, and he’s one of the best in the world today. I was proud to see him as Champion on a night like this. The roof is ready to come off this place before the two even lock up. The crowd is split with no clear face or heel. These guys are great, and the fans just want some great wrestling. A.J. is attacked by a masked man during the match, whom Kurt promptly throws out of the ring. Kurt then helps A.J. to his feet in a nice show of respect and waits a moment for Styles to get his bearings before the match continues.
We come back from commercial to hear what a “wrestling classic” this is. The “wrestling classic” is then cut off by yet another set of commercials.
These two really do dance extremely well together. They have tremendous chemistry that reminds me of The Rock vs. Austin and HBK vs. Bret. They read each other perfectly, and I never saw them miss a beat the entire match. Also it should be noted that this match started around 10:30, not like the WWE main events that start at 10:50, go for five minutes, and then end in DQ which we talk about until 11:05.
Speaking of WWE, the fans seemed to be suddenly reminded that they’re head to head with Raw because in light of the incredible action, they start chanting “Who needs Bret?” I realize this is supposed to get under Vince’s skin, but I don’t think Bret Hart would appreciate that very much either. The problem with fans is that if Bret showed up on TNA TV, they’d be chanting “Who needs Vince?” So it really has nothing to do with Bret himself. It has everything to do with their dislike of Monday Night Raw and WWE in general.
The Angle Slam from the top rope was epic. This was a PPV quality match. Ric Flair appears on the ramp, but he doesn’t really interfere, and as quick as he’s there, he’s gone. Tennay says Spike is going to stay with this match until they have a winner, but just as he says that, they cut to commercial.
The end of the match boils down to a series of Styles Clashes and Ankle Locks. As a rule, I don’t like it when wrestlers use their finishers more than once, maybe twice in a match. It is called a finisher for a reason. I don’t care what the move is, if you can’t put your opponent down in two finishing moves, you need to use something more powerful. I was never that impressed with the Styles Clash, but the fact that A.J. uses it about four times in this match made me wonder why he didn’t just save it for last. Similarly, A.J. continues to fight out of the Ankle Lock, but that doesn’t stop Kurt from applying it over and over. Styles eventually wins with a splash, but the two share the victory. The show should’ve ended right there, with Angle and Styles giving respect to each other and to the fans, with the crowd cheering for them, the company, everyone involved.
Instead, Hulk Hogan comes out onto the ramp and just kind of nods his head in approval. Since when do these guys need Hulk Hogan to tell them how good they are? Since when has anyone cared what Hulk Hogan thinks of A.J. Styles or Kurt Angle? These are two world-class athletes, arguably the two best wrestlers in the world today, and they need Hulk Hogan’s approval? Can you imagine what would happen if Hulk even thought about getting rid of either one of these men? Fans would be outraged. So don’t tell me that Hogan has to come out and give them a big thumbs-up. They know they did a great job, they don’t need to hear it from Dixie Carter’s new mouthpiece.
Hogan says “We made history tonight, blah blah blah”, we know, we know. Then Hogan gets told there’s a disturbance backstage, and the Hulkster leaves the iMPACT Zone to investigate.
Apparently the Beautiful People don’t suck that much at Poker because they’re still clothed before Mick Foley bursts into the room and asks Val where Hogan’s office is. Val tells him it’s down the hall and to the left. I’m not really sure what his idea of “Down the hall and to the left is”, because Foley, who obviously knew where Hogan’s office was, makes a right past the Poker room, goes down the hall, makes a few twists through the corridors and comes to a door on the left. He gets there to find Bischoff in Hogan’s seat. After a short spat with Bisch, Foley is attacked by nWo 2.0 (Nash, Hall, and Pac). Conveniently, Hogan enters the room just as the fight ends, and the show fades to black.
I’m not sure how well this new administration will work for TNA. Turning Hulk Hogan corporate will probably backfire. Fans don’t like conformity in wrestling. They want diversity, and, if the Attitude Era has taught us anything, they want rebellion. They wanna see the suits get beat. I don’t know if they plant to turn Hogan as a corporate heel, but it may be the best thing for them at this point. Reform the nWo, only this time, use it to keep the Bischoff Administration in place.
For all the talk of change, nothing really seemed all that different. I suppose it is a work in progress, but it better come quick. TNA has made a huge promise to the fans, and if they don’t deliver, the fans will leave them just as quickly as they left WWE. Right now I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’ve seen all this before in some far off promotion that no longer exists…
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Monday Night War 2010-WWE Raw
With the rest of the pro wrestling community dealing with the aftershock of the renewed Monday Night War, I thought I'd weigh in on the programming put out by both WWE and TNA. I will do this in three columns. The first will deal with WWE Raw, the second with TNA iMPACT, and the third will be for closing statements of the two and a final decision on who had the better product of the night.
For those of you unfamiliar with this scenario, the Monday Night Wars originally took place back in the late 90's between rival professional wrestling promotions World Wrestling Entertainment (then known as the "World Wrestling Federation" or WWF), and World Championship Wrestling (WCW). The two organizations aired their flagship broadcasts, WWF Monday Night Raw and WCW Monday Nitro, respectively, head-to-head on prime time cable television and engaged in a ratings war to win over fans from the competition. The war ended in 2001 when WWF (now World Wrestling Entertainment, or WWE) owner Vince McMahon bought out his competition. Since then, there has not been a wrestling promotion strong enough to rival WWE's stronghold on the pro wrestling market. Now, after eight years, Vince McMahon's monopolizing empire has been openly challenged by rival promotion, Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling. This past Monday, January 4, 2010, marks the first time in those eight years that two premiere wrestling programs have aired on the 9-11 p.m. time slot on a Monday night.
With all the anticipation leading up to this event, fans expected to see a higher quality of product from both promotions as TNA attempted to knock WWE Raw from its perch, and WWE, presumably, would do everything in its power to stay there.
The most obvious move by WWE to keep fans tuned in, was the heavily promoted return of Bret "The Hitman" Hart to WWE after a 12 year absence and his infamous falling out with Vince McMahon following the "Montreal Screwjob" at Survivor Series 1997. Other advertised bouts included a tag team match for the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship between D-Generation X and Jeri-Show, and a grudge match between Randy Orton and Kofi Kingston.
Let me start off by saying that while WWE is clearly aware of the competition, Vince McMahon is not shaking in his boots when it comes to TNA. Vince has a billion-dollar empire and a ratings juggernaut in WWE Raw, a show that consistently draws between a 3-3.5. To my knowledge, TNA averages about a 1.8 rating at its best.
Nevertheless, keeping in mind that TNA's 3-hour extravaganza started at 8:00, attempting to lure would-be Raw viewers away early, WWE knew they had to get those fans back, and so, wasting no time at all, Bret Hart was the first thing fans saw after the opening Raw sequence.
After making his way to the ring, "The Hitman", after acknowledging and graciously thanking the fans for their years of loyalty, immediately called out none other than Shawn Michaels.
I don't think this moment was properly built. The anticipation was there, but it could've been bigger. This is HBK vs. Bret Hart. This was THE feud of pro wrestling, and many, including Bret himself, believed that "hell would freeze over" before Hart set foot in a WWE ring again, much less in the same ring as Shawn Michaels.
Nevertheless, HBK's music hits, and out comes "The Showstopper". He's dressed up in his DX gear, which I could've done without, but he has a match later, so I guess it works.
I will also say that this is the first time in YEARS that I was literally shaking with goosebumps when I saw Shawn and Bret stare each other down.
Part of me suspects that what Bret really wanted was to tear into Shawn verbally, but Bret makes no bones about why he's here. He wants to "bury the hatchet" and bring closure to this chapter in his life. I know a lot of people had issues with this, after all, this was the biggest event in wrestling since Burno Samartino lost the world championship, and these guys are just going to shake hands and be friends? On the flip side, both these men are long past that stage in their lives and careers, and if it is not dealt with now, there is little chance of it ever being showcased again.
Shawn offers some words of praise for Bret's unparalleled in-ring performance before admitting that he was no the easiest person to get along with. Bret wholeheartedly agrees. Shawn talks about respect, and how he never felt he got any from Bret, but assures Bret that he is a different man now. Bret agrees to most of what Shawn says, and then extends his hand in a sign of truce. Shawn accepts, and there are cheers from the crowd as the two put this legendary feud behind them. Before he exits the ring, Shawn even goes so far as to embrace Bret in what has to be the stiffest hug on worldwide television since Vince hugged Eric Bischoff. Bret then calls Vince out, but Vince doesn't answer. In an awkward moment, we cut to commercial.
I don't care who is coming to TNA tonight, this was the most historical moment in professional wrestling and something that should've been seen by every wrestling fan, not just WWE die-hards. Hulk Hogan may be the best known wrestler in the world, but these are two of the best to ever set foot in the ring, finally putting to rest a true and real hatred and bitterness that has existed for almost a decade and a half. If we look at what was happening on iMPACT while this segment was going on, I believe, it pales in comparison.
When we come back Vince tells Josh Matthews that he was in a meeting and did not hear Bret Hart call him out. Vince says he will face Bret on his own time and on his own terms later that night.
We're then told that Divas Champion Melina was injured while performing at a house show and will be out for several months. As such, she has vacated the Divas Championship and a tournament will be held on Raw to determine who the new champion will be. In the first round, we have Maryse vs. Brie Bella. This is a descent match, but the finish was extremely confusing. I'm not exactly sure what the point of the Bella Twins pulling the old switcheroo was if they weren't going to win the match anyway. Maryse is a much stronger character, and would make a much stronger champion. It's clear WWE plans to send her to the final round and possibly strap her with the belt.
The Miz has come a long way since his debut and is one of the charismatic heels on the roster. People genuinely dislike this guy, and not because he's a bad wrestler, but because he is good at making people hate him. He's there to supervise the Fatal 4-Way match to determine the #1 Contender to his United States Championship. MVP, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, and Carlito are all in the running here. This was a solid match featuring some terrific young talent, and it was nice to see them showcased here in a prominent spot vying for a shot at a title instead of just a random match with no consequences. MVP comes out the winner, and this should make for an interesting feud leading up to the Royal Rumble and possibly into the Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match at Wrestlemania 26.
Chris Jericho is backstage with Big Show, about to tell the big man that he's going to have a talk with Bret Hart about their match against D-Generation X. If Jericho and his partner lose, Jericho is forced to leave Raw and return to Smackdown for good. When he gets to Bret's office, he showers "The Hitman" with compliments before asking him to guest referee the tag team title match and help him "screw" DX out of their championships. Bret says he's done playing that game and Jericho will have to find a way to win the match on his own.
DX is backstage with Hornswoggle. He's promised that if DX wins their match, Hornswoggle will be rewarded with a slew of action figures featuring his favorite WWE Superstars. Shawn comes over to watch, and this to me is just ridiculous. Shawn is best when he's being himself and when he's not trying to hard to be funny. But the DX segments keep getting worse and worse. After coming back from his epic confrontation with Bret Hart, Shawn returns to form by being the goofy sidekick to Triple H. Santino Marella comes in dressed as Chris Jericho and actually pulls off the funniest act by attempting to mimic Jericho's speech. Hornswoggle attacks Santino which I guess if funny to anyone under the age of 8, before Santino wishes them all "Good luck with the Suck It". A wasted segment that does nothing for the upcoming match.
The match itself is as exciting as it can be. We've seen it before, but it is still a strong showing for both teams with a great finish. A lot of people complain that the wrestling in WWE isn't as fast-paced as the wrestling in TNA, but we also have to remember that it's not trying to be. WWE has a very different wrestling style, and it works for them. It does not make it bad or inferior. It is simply an alternate way of performing, and often allows for better storytelling in the ring since the fans have time to take in what's happening before the next move. In any case, DX wins their match and Jericho is banned from Raw. We get the "Na Na Na" from the fans, but it is ultimately pointless because no one really cares where Jericho wrestles. He will be just as annoying on Smackdown as he was on Raw.
I also thought they would have DX drop the titles due to the upcoming Royal Rumble. We know that Shawn will be facing The Undertaker at Wrestlemania, so why not let them drop the belts and have Shawn concentrate on that. I'm sure Triple H will have no problem occupying his time with Sheamus and winning his 14th world championship before heading into Wrestlemania.
Backstage, Randy Orton offers his services to Vince McMahon for his confrontation with Bret later that night. Orton says he would have no problem killing the legend of Bret Hart, and in return, Vince would enter Orton as the #30 entrant into the Roayl Rumble. Vince refuses, and says he can take care of Bret himself.
Speaking of the Rumble, isn't this about the time that everyone starts talking about how they're going to win the Rumble and become Champion at Wrestlemania? This seems to be lost on everyone as the rumble is only three weeks away and no one has even tried to earn a spot.
In any case, Orton is confronted by his Legacy brethren who say they will test him the same way he tested them last week. Namely, should Orton lose his match to Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase will beat the hell out of him and kick him out of Legacy. It's about time they did something here. These two can stand on their own, and if anything, dealing with them holds Randy Orton back. It's not exactly the fall out Evolution had, but it's something to keep the fans guessing.
Sheamus comes out after the commercial and says he's tired of facing John Cena. This is great because, well, a lot of people are tired of John Cena. Sheamus wants a new opponent, and dares anyone to step out and face him. This is great for the Champion, by the way, since despite winning the WWE Championship he is still overshadowed by, well, everyone else on the roster. In response, Evan Bourne steps up. This is great. A young face squaring off against the Champion who says if Bourne can beat him tonight, Bourne gets a title match at the Royal Rumble. Bourne puts out a strong showing, but ultimately loses when he is dominated by the Champion. We still don't know who will face Sheamus at the Royal Rumble, but my guess is it will either be Triple H or a rematch with John Cena.
The company quickly, but respectfully pays tribute to the late "Dr. Death" Steve Williams before going to commercial. King has nothing but kind words for this legend, though he is more known for his work in Japan than in the WWE. I'm sure he will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year.
We come back from commercial to recap Bret's career up to Montreal, then Kofi makes his entrance. Then...back to commercial. What a waste of time.
When we come back, Orton is in the ring, and Rhodes and DiBiase are at the announce table. The match begins and it is by far the best match of the night. I don't care how many times you've seen these guys square off, it is fun and exciting to watch. Kofi's energy is undeniably addictive, and Orton's cunning makes you wonder what will happen next. Orton does manage to scrape out a win here, and is congratulated by the Legacy as they make their way backstage.
Next thing we know, Vince is coming to the ring and says he will not be speaking to Bret Hart tonight as he has nothing else to say. Bret makes his way down to the ring anyway, sans his entrance music, which makes us wonder if he's really supposed to be there. Bret says he wants to bury the hatchet with Vince as he did with Shawn. Vince says he will never forget Bret spitting in his face, sucker-punching him backstage after the match, or walking out on his company. Vince says, this time to Bret's face, that Bret screwed Bret. Bret says he still wants this done and over with, so Vince butters him up by talking about all the great moments Bret has had in his career in the WWE, then reluctantly shakes Bret's hand and takes the mic away from the "The Hitman". Bret looks confused, but follows along as they pose on all sides of the ring. Then Vince kicks Bret in the groin to close the show. Bret gets to his feet and stares at Vince as the boss makes his way up the ramp.
I have to believe that Bret will be around for a little longer to get some well-deserved revenge on Vince. I wonder how Bret feels about using Montreal as the basis for another angle, as that is something he specifically asked HBK (to no avail) not to do. I'm sure we will see some confrontation between Bret and Vince at Wrestlemania, but of what kind, I don't know.
The show wasted a lot of time. I'm tired of WWE's instant replays right after the commercial break. We all saw what happened, and they will replay it again at the end of the show anyway. I'm tired of the exterior shots of the arena. They do nothing for the fans in attendance or at home. Airing the Bret Hart video package three times in one night got a little old. We all know what happened, and if you don't know by now, you don't care. WWE could save a lot of time by cutting some of, if not all of these things out and putting the focus back on what happens in the ring. The Bret Hart segments went a little long, but I feel it was deserved since it is truly an epic feud here.
Overall I think Raw was a notch or two above its normal standards. Was it enough to beat the "full steam ahead" TNA? Maybe not in the eyes of hardcore fans. But then again, WWE really doesn't need to try, does it? It has a built-in audience, whereas TNA is trying to grab viewers and turn them off to Vince's well-established product. Did TNA do enough to get the audience they wanted? We'll see.
I'll be discussing TNA iMPACT in my next article. Keep clicking.
For those of you unfamiliar with this scenario, the Monday Night Wars originally took place back in the late 90's between rival professional wrestling promotions World Wrestling Entertainment (then known as the "World Wrestling Federation" or WWF), and World Championship Wrestling (WCW). The two organizations aired their flagship broadcasts, WWF Monday Night Raw and WCW Monday Nitro, respectively, head-to-head on prime time cable television and engaged in a ratings war to win over fans from the competition. The war ended in 2001 when WWF (now World Wrestling Entertainment, or WWE) owner Vince McMahon bought out his competition. Since then, there has not been a wrestling promotion strong enough to rival WWE's stronghold on the pro wrestling market. Now, after eight years, Vince McMahon's monopolizing empire has been openly challenged by rival promotion, Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling. This past Monday, January 4, 2010, marks the first time in those eight years that two premiere wrestling programs have aired on the 9-11 p.m. time slot on a Monday night.
With all the anticipation leading up to this event, fans expected to see a higher quality of product from both promotions as TNA attempted to knock WWE Raw from its perch, and WWE, presumably, would do everything in its power to stay there.
The most obvious move by WWE to keep fans tuned in, was the heavily promoted return of Bret "The Hitman" Hart to WWE after a 12 year absence and his infamous falling out with Vince McMahon following the "Montreal Screwjob" at Survivor Series 1997. Other advertised bouts included a tag team match for the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship between D-Generation X and Jeri-Show, and a grudge match between Randy Orton and Kofi Kingston.
Let me start off by saying that while WWE is clearly aware of the competition, Vince McMahon is not shaking in his boots when it comes to TNA. Vince has a billion-dollar empire and a ratings juggernaut in WWE Raw, a show that consistently draws between a 3-3.5. To my knowledge, TNA averages about a 1.8 rating at its best.
Nevertheless, keeping in mind that TNA's 3-hour extravaganza started at 8:00, attempting to lure would-be Raw viewers away early, WWE knew they had to get those fans back, and so, wasting no time at all, Bret Hart was the first thing fans saw after the opening Raw sequence.
After making his way to the ring, "The Hitman", after acknowledging and graciously thanking the fans for their years of loyalty, immediately called out none other than Shawn Michaels.
I don't think this moment was properly built. The anticipation was there, but it could've been bigger. This is HBK vs. Bret Hart. This was THE feud of pro wrestling, and many, including Bret himself, believed that "hell would freeze over" before Hart set foot in a WWE ring again, much less in the same ring as Shawn Michaels.
Nevertheless, HBK's music hits, and out comes "The Showstopper". He's dressed up in his DX gear, which I could've done without, but he has a match later, so I guess it works.
I will also say that this is the first time in YEARS that I was literally shaking with goosebumps when I saw Shawn and Bret stare each other down.
Part of me suspects that what Bret really wanted was to tear into Shawn verbally, but Bret makes no bones about why he's here. He wants to "bury the hatchet" and bring closure to this chapter in his life. I know a lot of people had issues with this, after all, this was the biggest event in wrestling since Burno Samartino lost the world championship, and these guys are just going to shake hands and be friends? On the flip side, both these men are long past that stage in their lives and careers, and if it is not dealt with now, there is little chance of it ever being showcased again.
Shawn offers some words of praise for Bret's unparalleled in-ring performance before admitting that he was no the easiest person to get along with. Bret wholeheartedly agrees. Shawn talks about respect, and how he never felt he got any from Bret, but assures Bret that he is a different man now. Bret agrees to most of what Shawn says, and then extends his hand in a sign of truce. Shawn accepts, and there are cheers from the crowd as the two put this legendary feud behind them. Before he exits the ring, Shawn even goes so far as to embrace Bret in what has to be the stiffest hug on worldwide television since Vince hugged Eric Bischoff. Bret then calls Vince out, but Vince doesn't answer. In an awkward moment, we cut to commercial.
I don't care who is coming to TNA tonight, this was the most historical moment in professional wrestling and something that should've been seen by every wrestling fan, not just WWE die-hards. Hulk Hogan may be the best known wrestler in the world, but these are two of the best to ever set foot in the ring, finally putting to rest a true and real hatred and bitterness that has existed for almost a decade and a half. If we look at what was happening on iMPACT while this segment was going on, I believe, it pales in comparison.
When we come back Vince tells Josh Matthews that he was in a meeting and did not hear Bret Hart call him out. Vince says he will face Bret on his own time and on his own terms later that night.
We're then told that Divas Champion Melina was injured while performing at a house show and will be out for several months. As such, she has vacated the Divas Championship and a tournament will be held on Raw to determine who the new champion will be. In the first round, we have Maryse vs. Brie Bella. This is a descent match, but the finish was extremely confusing. I'm not exactly sure what the point of the Bella Twins pulling the old switcheroo was if they weren't going to win the match anyway. Maryse is a much stronger character, and would make a much stronger champion. It's clear WWE plans to send her to the final round and possibly strap her with the belt.
The Miz has come a long way since his debut and is one of the charismatic heels on the roster. People genuinely dislike this guy, and not because he's a bad wrestler, but because he is good at making people hate him. He's there to supervise the Fatal 4-Way match to determine the #1 Contender to his United States Championship. MVP, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, and Carlito are all in the running here. This was a solid match featuring some terrific young talent, and it was nice to see them showcased here in a prominent spot vying for a shot at a title instead of just a random match with no consequences. MVP comes out the winner, and this should make for an interesting feud leading up to the Royal Rumble and possibly into the Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match at Wrestlemania 26.
Chris Jericho is backstage with Big Show, about to tell the big man that he's going to have a talk with Bret Hart about their match against D-Generation X. If Jericho and his partner lose, Jericho is forced to leave Raw and return to Smackdown for good. When he gets to Bret's office, he showers "The Hitman" with compliments before asking him to guest referee the tag team title match and help him "screw" DX out of their championships. Bret says he's done playing that game and Jericho will have to find a way to win the match on his own.
DX is backstage with Hornswoggle. He's promised that if DX wins their match, Hornswoggle will be rewarded with a slew of action figures featuring his favorite WWE Superstars. Shawn comes over to watch, and this to me is just ridiculous. Shawn is best when he's being himself and when he's not trying to hard to be funny. But the DX segments keep getting worse and worse. After coming back from his epic confrontation with Bret Hart, Shawn returns to form by being the goofy sidekick to Triple H. Santino Marella comes in dressed as Chris Jericho and actually pulls off the funniest act by attempting to mimic Jericho's speech. Hornswoggle attacks Santino which I guess if funny to anyone under the age of 8, before Santino wishes them all "Good luck with the Suck It". A wasted segment that does nothing for the upcoming match.
The match itself is as exciting as it can be. We've seen it before, but it is still a strong showing for both teams with a great finish. A lot of people complain that the wrestling in WWE isn't as fast-paced as the wrestling in TNA, but we also have to remember that it's not trying to be. WWE has a very different wrestling style, and it works for them. It does not make it bad or inferior. It is simply an alternate way of performing, and often allows for better storytelling in the ring since the fans have time to take in what's happening before the next move. In any case, DX wins their match and Jericho is banned from Raw. We get the "Na Na Na" from the fans, but it is ultimately pointless because no one really cares where Jericho wrestles. He will be just as annoying on Smackdown as he was on Raw.
I also thought they would have DX drop the titles due to the upcoming Royal Rumble. We know that Shawn will be facing The Undertaker at Wrestlemania, so why not let them drop the belts and have Shawn concentrate on that. I'm sure Triple H will have no problem occupying his time with Sheamus and winning his 14th world championship before heading into Wrestlemania.
Backstage, Randy Orton offers his services to Vince McMahon for his confrontation with Bret later that night. Orton says he would have no problem killing the legend of Bret Hart, and in return, Vince would enter Orton as the #30 entrant into the Roayl Rumble. Vince refuses, and says he can take care of Bret himself.
Speaking of the Rumble, isn't this about the time that everyone starts talking about how they're going to win the Rumble and become Champion at Wrestlemania? This seems to be lost on everyone as the rumble is only three weeks away and no one has even tried to earn a spot.
In any case, Orton is confronted by his Legacy brethren who say they will test him the same way he tested them last week. Namely, should Orton lose his match to Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase will beat the hell out of him and kick him out of Legacy. It's about time they did something here. These two can stand on their own, and if anything, dealing with them holds Randy Orton back. It's not exactly the fall out Evolution had, but it's something to keep the fans guessing.
Sheamus comes out after the commercial and says he's tired of facing John Cena. This is great because, well, a lot of people are tired of John Cena. Sheamus wants a new opponent, and dares anyone to step out and face him. This is great for the Champion, by the way, since despite winning the WWE Championship he is still overshadowed by, well, everyone else on the roster. In response, Evan Bourne steps up. This is great. A young face squaring off against the Champion who says if Bourne can beat him tonight, Bourne gets a title match at the Royal Rumble. Bourne puts out a strong showing, but ultimately loses when he is dominated by the Champion. We still don't know who will face Sheamus at the Royal Rumble, but my guess is it will either be Triple H or a rematch with John Cena.
The company quickly, but respectfully pays tribute to the late "Dr. Death" Steve Williams before going to commercial. King has nothing but kind words for this legend, though he is more known for his work in Japan than in the WWE. I'm sure he will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year.
We come back from commercial to recap Bret's career up to Montreal, then Kofi makes his entrance. Then...back to commercial. What a waste of time.
When we come back, Orton is in the ring, and Rhodes and DiBiase are at the announce table. The match begins and it is by far the best match of the night. I don't care how many times you've seen these guys square off, it is fun and exciting to watch. Kofi's energy is undeniably addictive, and Orton's cunning makes you wonder what will happen next. Orton does manage to scrape out a win here, and is congratulated by the Legacy as they make their way backstage.
Next thing we know, Vince is coming to the ring and says he will not be speaking to Bret Hart tonight as he has nothing else to say. Bret makes his way down to the ring anyway, sans his entrance music, which makes us wonder if he's really supposed to be there. Bret says he wants to bury the hatchet with Vince as he did with Shawn. Vince says he will never forget Bret spitting in his face, sucker-punching him backstage after the match, or walking out on his company. Vince says, this time to Bret's face, that Bret screwed Bret. Bret says he still wants this done and over with, so Vince butters him up by talking about all the great moments Bret has had in his career in the WWE, then reluctantly shakes Bret's hand and takes the mic away from the "The Hitman". Bret looks confused, but follows along as they pose on all sides of the ring. Then Vince kicks Bret in the groin to close the show. Bret gets to his feet and stares at Vince as the boss makes his way up the ramp.
I have to believe that Bret will be around for a little longer to get some well-deserved revenge on Vince. I wonder how Bret feels about using Montreal as the basis for another angle, as that is something he specifically asked HBK (to no avail) not to do. I'm sure we will see some confrontation between Bret and Vince at Wrestlemania, but of what kind, I don't know.
The show wasted a lot of time. I'm tired of WWE's instant replays right after the commercial break. We all saw what happened, and they will replay it again at the end of the show anyway. I'm tired of the exterior shots of the arena. They do nothing for the fans in attendance or at home. Airing the Bret Hart video package three times in one night got a little old. We all know what happened, and if you don't know by now, you don't care. WWE could save a lot of time by cutting some of, if not all of these things out and putting the focus back on what happens in the ring. The Bret Hart segments went a little long, but I feel it was deserved since it is truly an epic feud here.
Overall I think Raw was a notch or two above its normal standards. Was it enough to beat the "full steam ahead" TNA? Maybe not in the eyes of hardcore fans. But then again, WWE really doesn't need to try, does it? It has a built-in audience, whereas TNA is trying to grab viewers and turn them off to Vince's well-established product. Did TNA do enough to get the audience they wanted? We'll see.
I'll be discussing TNA iMPACT in my next article. Keep clicking.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
WWE Brand Extension: Why It Needs to go Away
In the Spring of 2002, Vince McMahon was enjoying his newly consolidated wrestling empire. He had already purchased WCW, weeded out much of the unwanted talent thanks to 2001's "Invasion" by the ECW/WCW Alliance, and even welcomed back his biggest star: Hulk Hogan.
Riding high on its success, WWE had begun to deal with the issue of the overabundance of talent swarming in their locker rooms. What resulted was the now ubiquitous WWE Brand Extension, which made select superstars exclusive to any of the now three brands under the banner of World Wrestling Entertainment.
While this Brand Extension was a very practical decision for WWE at the time, giving its talent as much TV time as possible, the time has come and gone. I have been arguing for years that this mode of operation needs to go away as soon as possible if WWE wants to reap any success in the foreseeable future.
I will make an argument here specifically regarding the Smackdown and Raw brands. I firmly believe that ECW is an excellent platform for bringing up young talent, and should remain its own entity apart from the other two.
In its initial draft on the March 25, 2002 edition of "Monday Night Raw", WWE drafted 57 Superstars and Divas between Smackdown and Raw. At the time, WWE had one world championship (the Undisputed Championship), as well as the Intercontinental, European, Hardcore, World Tag Team, and Women's titles. That's six titles.
That meant that each brand had about 30 Superstars to its roster. Today, Raw features 33 Superstars (including Divas and announcers), while Smackdown features a 40-person roster. The numbers alone might be enough to justify continuing the brand extension, as it would be impossible to showcase 73 stars in one show every week. However, let's think about this realistically in respect to what we are seeing every week on television.
Even with its then 60-person roster pool, WWE considered consolidating its championships. Following the Brand Extension, the European Championship was consolidated into the Intercontinental Championship. Shortly after, in what I consider to be one of the worst decisions in WWE history, the Intercontinental Championship was consolidated into the World Heavyweight title. The title was later reactivated by then Co-General Manager "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, but the idea of keeping championships to a minimum was smart, if a bit misguided. Meanwhile, the Hardcore Championship disappeared, most likely due to the new direction the company wanted to take.
Then there was the title boom that began in 2002. The Undisputed Championship received an overhaul. Instead of carrying around the two World titles (WWF and WCW), the new champion received one belt that signified their reign as the WWE Undisputed Champion. Now simply known as the WWE Championship (a direct successor to the WWF World Championship), the title became exclusive to Smackdown, prompting then Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff to resurrect his half of the title by re-christening the WCW Championship as the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. As Raw made its titles exclusive to their brand (the Intercontinental, World Tag Team, and Women's titles), Smackdown created the WWE Tag Team Championship, WWE Cruiserweight Championship, and WWE United States Championship to compete.
The Cruiserweight title is now defunct, and the tag team titles are unified. In its place, Smackdown created a WWE Divas Championship in 2008 to rival the Women's Championship on Raw.
This is supposedly to accommodate WWE's enormous talent pool, making sure that everyone had something to fight for. But really, how much talent are they using?
USA Network's mini website for "WWE Raw" features just 10 Superstar profiles. These are, presumably, the ten most-watched stars on the brand that viewers can expect to see every week. So what about the other 23 stars on the roster?
Take away announcers and side-acts like "Big Dick Johnson", and Raw is left with just 29 stars. These are active wrestlers, people who are expected to compete every week. But many don't. How often does Gail Kim wrestle? Not enough to be considered a weekly talent. That's not a knock to Gail, that is a criticism of WWE's use (or lack of use) of talent. Of these 29 remaining stars, about 24 appear on the average 2-hour episode of "Raw". And there are exceptions. If USA Network's website is any indication, WWE backs about 1/3 of its roster with guaranteed TV time every week.
On Smackdown, the situation is even worse. Only 33 members of their 40-person roster are active competitors. Of those 33, about 10 of them sit on the sidelines or are simply used to put over bigger talent.
That leaves Smackdown with about 23 stars.
So let's see, 23 stars for each brand. That's 46 combined. Much of Smackdown's roster consists of up-and-coming talent that has not been fully developed yet. So, let's, for the sake of easy calculation, assume that 40 top-level WWE Superstars and Divas appear on every episode of their weekly show. That's just 10 more stars than Raw's roster at the time of the brand extension.
In contrast to the state of WWE circa 2002, the company has eight championships, including two world titles that, to casual viewers, is simply confusing. As of this writing, Sheamus is the WWE Champion. The Undertaker is the World Heavyweight Champion. So, of course, the first question any casual or would-be fan would ask is:
"Who is the real Champion?"
Well, Sheamus is the champion of Raw, and The Undertaker is the champion of Smackdown.
"Well, won't they fight to see who the real champion is?"
No, they don't fight each other.
At this point this would be fan gives me a thoroughly confused look that almost resembles disgust before shaking their head.
"That's stupid!"
Yes, it is.
Sure, we could explain the concept of the brand extension, but why should new fans need a lesson in WWE history to understand the show and enjoy the product?
With platforms like "ECW" and "WWE Superstars", which could easily serve as an upper-class "Sunday Night Heat" to help get young stars over, why are we forced to watch fresh-off-the-press and often under-developed talent like Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler try to legitimize themselves next to talent like Rey Mysterio and Shawn Michaels?
Half the problem is the atrocious writing in WWE. More time on "Raw" is spent pandering to the guest hosts (which have never gone over well) than showcasing the exciting talent that could set the audience on fire both in-house and at home. I will not be addressing the WWE creative process at this point, as that would take a whole separate entry to explore.
WWE buyrates are down. No one wants to see two World Champions fight for their respective titles against separate opponents under the same stipulations. No one. Because it won't matter who the champion of Raw or the champion of Smackdown is at the end of the night. The fans want one champion to reign both shows. As Eric Bischoff once said (ironically in reference to his creation of the World Heavyweight Championship for Raw): "One show, one champion."
The WWE tag team division has long suffered a lack of exposure, much to the dismay of the fans. Why not consolidate the four or five tag teams in WWE by taking them off their brand-exclusive rosters and making them one, company-wide division? Give D-Generation X some real competition for those newly won WWE Unified Tag Team Championships. Cryme Tyme, the Hart Dynasty, Jer-Show are all great teams that deserve to be featured prominently in the company. Better yet, get rid of the other set of belts. Keep the World Tag Team titles (the original WWF World Tag Team Championship) and stop confusing people.
Give the WWE United States Championship to ECW so that up-and-coming talent have something to fight for while they're working towards the ECW World Heavyweight Championship. Defend it regularly on "ECW" and "WWE Superstars" so that fans can see a championship match every time they attend a televised event, and viewers at home have a reason to tune in.
Finally, for the love of God, get rid of the Diva's Championship and consolidate it into the WWE Women's title. The belt looks like something Paris Hilton would buy her dog for Christmas. At least the Women's Championship has...y'know...GOLD on it. Like a championship. It has the prestige of past champions from "The Fabulous Moolah", to Sable, Chyna, Trish Stratus, Lita, Mickie James, and Melina. The Divas title has changed hands four times since its creation last year. That's once every three months. Again, consolidate your talent pool before we end up with Jillian Hall as WWE Divas Champion.
I can absolutely see the value of the Brand Extension as of 2002, but in 2009, the talent just isn't there. Sure, when we could put Steve Austin on Raw and The Rock on Smackdown, it didn't seem so bad. But we don't have Steve Austin or The Rock anymore. We don't have the big stars we used to have. Sure, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker are tremendous wrestlers with huge followings, but they have nowhere near the star power or the "household name" quality that Austin, Rock, or even Cena have.
Titles are meaningless when there are a dozen of them floating around the company. Fans don't care because if they don't like the champion on one show, they will watch the other. Don't like Sheamus? Watch "Smackdown". Don't like The Undertaker? Watch "Raw" to see when Cena gets his title back.
Champions work because they are the only choice we have. When WWE puts a heel champion on top, the whole idea is that we are stuck with him because, well, he's the champion, and until someone dethrones him, there is no avoiding him. He is the axis on which the company turns. That's why we root for guys like Cena: because he clearly will be a much better champion than Sheamus.
By having two champions, you give viewers the option of watching something else instead. Granted, it is still your product, but when ratings are down for "Raw" and ratings are up for "Smackdown", it is merely the fans choosing which show or champion they like better. They are telling WWE that they don't like the direction one show is taking. You want better ratings? You want better buyrates? You want stronger live attendance? Consolidate your rosters and your titles, and the rest will follow.
Baseball has ONE World Series, the NFL has ONE SuperBowl, hockey has ONE Stanley Cup, and WWE needs ONE World Champion.
______________________________________
"I'm the Intercontinental Champion!"
"Oh yeah? Well I'm the United States Champion!"
"Oh...oh wow..."
"Yeah, so eat that!"
"Well...well my title's better than yours!"
"How?"
...
...
...
"I don't know."
"We should see who the real champion is!"
"NO! We can't do that!"
"Why not?"
"Because, Vince says we're no supposed to!"
"Oh. Well, okay then. See ya."
"See ya."
______________________________________
Now that's compelling television!
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