I've been quiet about much of what TNA has done lately, specifically on Impact because I just didn't feel that anything they were doing was newsworthy. Fortunately, some of that has changed as Impact has been on an upswing the past couple of weeks in my opinion.
So after checking my DVR'd edition of last Thursday's show, I thought I'd post some thoughts.
First off, I want to say that the recent re-branding of the show is exactly what TNA needed. Changing the name to Impact Wrestling is a great way to showcase the company's new mantra of "wrestling matters". Even with its Smackdown-esque blue glow, TNA is still unique enough to differentiate itself from the competition. It may have a blue after-touch, but the color scheme is still heavily blackened: a color WWE has really tried to avoid in recent years.
The first thing people should notice about Impact is Christy Hemme. In many ways, the feel of Impact's presentation is akin to "Attitude Era" Raw broadcasts; back before everyone was dressed to the nine's and when it was okay to be informal. Whereas every WWE broadcast now uses the voice of Justin Roberts to announce the competitions, here is a fiery, green-eyed redhead in punk-ish attire growling the names of wrestlers as they march to the ring. It lacks the polish of a WWE experience, and that is a good thing.
There is a grit to TNA that likens it more to MMA fighting than to sports-entertainment. It's the type of grit that reminds me of old westerns: when the stranger walks into the bar and picks and immediate beef with the local riff-raff. Sure, every once in a while you might get two gun-slingers who display a mutual respect and simply want to see who the better sharpshooter is, but the best confrontations are always fueled by that testosterone and adrenaline that can only come from a legitimate dislike and a need to feel superior. It is the basest of human instincts and wrestling should always cling to this rule. Whereas WWE is leaning more toward the spirit of competition in its angles, TNA makes sure to build angles that affect their characters and bring out the best (or worst) in them.
However, there is a time when the talking must stop, and over the last few months, TNA has made a habit of starting every show with a 15-minute promo, usually by Immortal or Fortune, and there has been an utter lack of actual wrestling over the two-hour timeslot.
Thankfully, tonight, TNA decided to ditch their not-so-winning formula and opened with an actual wrestling match!
STREET FIGHT
"THE PHENOMENAL" A.J. STYLES & "THE FALLEN ANGEL" CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (4TUNE) VS. BULLY RAY & TOMMY DREAMER (IMMORTAL)
Okay, so now I'm gonna backtrack on everything I just said.
You see, TNA is still playing the "nobody knows who we are" card. This is good, in the sense that we get a fresh look at each character for almost every show. This is bad when it comes to street fights. People looking for an alternative to WWE are not necessarily looking for hardcore bash-your-brains-in-with-a-garbage-can-lid action. They may just want to see good, competitive, athletic wrestling with storylines that are not written for people under fourteen years of age.
You see, if I'm a wrestling fan, or heck, even if I've never seen a wrestling show in my life, and I turn on Impact to find four men scattered throughout the arena with various foreign objects, I'm probably more likely to say, "That's barbaric and insane," than, "Oh, my God, look at him bleed!"
TNA seems much more concerned with converting wrestling fans than creating new Impact fans, almost as though fans should start out with WWE and eventually "graduate" to TNA. If that's your strategy, then it will probably work, but if you're looking to make new wrestling fans rather than simply making new TNA fans, this is probably not the way to go.
On the bright side, at least they had two great athletes in the mix with Daniels and Styles. Their athleticism really shone through even in this environment, and hopefully that keeps viewers tuned in, because there's gotta be more where that came from, right? After all, we just opened the show!
A.J. goes for the Styles Clash which gets turned into a makeshift piledriver when Daniels flies off the top rope and spikes Dreamer into the mat. It looked absolutely devastating, and was the clear nail in the coffin for the team of Immortal cohorts.
WINNERS: "The Phenomenal" A.J. Styles & "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels
So now that we've got wrestling out of the way, we're ready to do some talking. By now we've been informed that TNA World Champion Sting has been given his own interview segment.
Here's the thing about interview segments. From Piper's Pit to Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel, interview segments all have one thing in common: they're hosted by the industry's best talkers. Even the less memorable Heartbreak Hotel segments are bearable thanks to Shawn Michaels' charisma. Of course, there are have been countless fly-by-night imitations, but Roddy Piper will always be the measuring stick for great interview segments, but TNA has an Ace up their sleeve in Ken Anderson.
Thankfully, the Stinger Sit-down was not hosted by the real Sting, but by the imitation Sting as played by none other than TNA's resident "asshole".
We then get thrown a curveball as Anderson calls out someone from Sting's past: none other than the unconquerable, legendary, (who was it again? Oh, yeah...) Disco Inferno!
This segment was great from start to finish. I don't care if you knew who Disco Inferno was, is, or ever will be; this segment made him look like a million bucks to every fan in the building. Rather than help to bury Sting, The Disc does nothing but praise "The Icon" to the adulation of the entire audience, culminating with Inferno wondering why Anderson flaunts the name "Asshole" when he's "clearly a dick," with Anderson's trademark mic in hand. Of course, Ken doesn't take kindly to this and uses the mic to assault his guest, prompting the Stinger to come in and save the day.
So now we have our second match. And by second match, I mean more talking. This time we're in the bathroom with Eric Young and World Television Champion, Gunner. After weeks of prancing around with old TNA World title belt, Young seems to have accidentally grabbed Gunner's belt by mistake in a backstage brawl a couple of weeks ago. Now he's got a master plan to give Gunner his belt back and help him climb up the ladder in Immortal. He cites Hogan and Nash from '99 and says all Gunner has to do is lay a finger on him and--BAM!--EY lays down and Gunner gets his belt back. Gunner reluctantly agrees. Eric is golden in this segment. None of it makes any sense, but that seems to be the key to his charm.
Okay, so now that all the jabbering is out of the way, we can move on to--wait, what's that? Are you sure? Really? I mean we've already--okay, okay! Looks like it's more talking, folks.
This time at least the scenery gets infinitely more interesting. Velvet Sky heads to the ring, which is a good thing. She means business, which is a bad thing, because it deprives us of the best entrance in wrestling.
It would be easy to say that Velvet Sky is another classic example of a wrestling Barbie Doll. In fact, that seems to be the issue here. WWE recently signed Kharma, formerly TNA's Awesome Kong and one of the staples of their Knockouts division. It has added a new air of credibility to Vince's Divas, but unfortunately, without Kong and the release of ODB, TNA has started to mirror WWE in its female competitors. Now ODB is back, and this time she's blaming Velvet for taking her spot and essentially pushing her off the roster. Her gripe seems to be that Velvet has made a living out of flaunting her physical attributes and that has made it hard for women like ODB who pride themselves on ability over appearance, to keep their spots on the roster.
The good thing about this is that it is a real issue among wrestlers and fans alike. Gail Kim is a great example of a fantastic in-ring performer who has been forced to sit on the sidelines while less experienced women take the forefront. It's easy to sympathize with ODB, but will the fans really feel bad for someone as beautiful as Velvet Sky who can easily be taken for a woman who has gotten by solely on her looks? It seemed to work tonight, and hopefully TNA keeps the fans interested. Velvet gets the beatdown, so we'll see how she plans to retaliate.
Okay, so now that we've waded through the Waters of Promo, there's got to be some wrestling on the horizon, right?
WRONG!
Instead we're in the office of Eric Bischoff and he's telling Beer Money that if Robert Roode's torn ACL doesn't heal up within the obligatory 30-day title defense timeline, they will be forced to relinquish the belts. James Storm trashes Bischoff's desk before walking out.
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...
Oh, wait...it's The Pope.
And he's talking.
He hit on a member of Brother D-von's family. That's not cool, and there's the feeling that something will eventually go down. We're not sure what, we just know it's coming.
*Wipes sweat from brow* Whew! Okay, back to the ring. There's...no one in it...yet. First Kurt Angle is trying to motivate "The Blueprint" Matt Morgan for his match against Jeff Jarrett. (Remember the "wrestling" part of "Impact Wrestling"?)
Okay, so now we're backstage, and--
Wait, what's this? Where are we? This looks familiar...like I've seen it before...perhaps in a dream. It reminds me of--yes! That's it! It's a wrestling ring! And there's music! Someone's coming out! Could it be? It is!
IT'S A WRESTLING MATCH!
JEFF JARRETT W/KAREN JARRETT VS. "THE BLUEPRINT" MATT MORGAN
Double-J hits the ring accompanied by his wife, Karen. She's on a crutch thanks to Velvet Sky pushing her down the ramp in a wheelchair. (Why is Velvet involved in so many angles?) She's gonna sit at ringside and watch. Here's Matt Morgan. He's knocking Jarrett around and suddenly Karen slips her crutch in the ring and "The King of the Mountain" uses it to put Morgan to sleep. With "The DNA of TNA" down for the count, the rest is academic.
WINNER: Jeff Jarrett
Well, it looks like we've got enough of the wrestling out of the way that we can go back to the promo cutting. Also, the show is now going to make me a liar. It seems that TNA is not done cutting 15-minute promos; they just moved them to the middle of the show instead of the start.
The Bisch is back, and he's got that obnoxious grin that he always wears, even when someone gets under his skin. It really bothers me that Bischoff refuses to "sell" his anger at any point against anyone. Whenever someone thwarts his doing, he simply slaps on that superficial smile and stands serenely unscathed.
Well, he's got that smile on. What is the reason for this jovial jubilee? It appears Hulk Hogan is back after dealing with Mick Foley and "The Network." The Hulkster praises Bischoff for ridding TNA of the X-Division, and assures Eric that Immortal is "back in the saddle" and that it will be nothing but "smooth sailing" from here (in a saddle?) But before they can break out the celebratory unicorn pinatas, in rides Mick Foley to inform them that "The Network" still holds a firm grip on the goings on in the realm of TNA television, and to start, the X-Division is to be reinstated.
Let's get something straight: wrestling fans do not care about the politics of broadcasting. It would be one thing if it was a wrestler taking a stand against "The Network" when the corporate hammer starts driving nails in the coffins of its performers. That would help the wrestler get over. But who's taking the stand here? TNA execs. No disrespect to Foley: few people can tell a story as intelligently as he can; but the focus needs to stay on active performers. Dealing
with all this convoluted "Network" mumbo jumbo is akin to Vince McMahon winning the ECW Championship against Bobby Lashley (remember that? Yeah, I wish I didn't, either.)
It seems TNA is trying to shift the focus by making the X-Division the center of Immortal's quarrel with "The Network." While Eric would love to see the "Hardcore Legend" face "The Monster" Abyss for the X-Division belt, Brian Kendrick comes out to insist that it be him to redeem he and his high-flying comrades. This seems to be fine with Immortal, so the match is set for later that night.
And now for the angle voted #1 in the "Kill This Now Before I Change the Channel" Poll, Winter is talking to a zombie-fied Angelina Love. Apparently Winter has been planning this "for centuries," and now their dreams are coming to fruition. To my knowledge, professional wrestling as we know it, even in its earliest form, is less than a century old, but what do I know?
Okay, so do I really need to make a list of all the reasons this angle is horrible? Probably not, but I'm going to anyway.
1.) When this first started, it seemed like Winter was simply a phantom or some figment of Angelina's imagination. Thankfully that was dropped and Winter "materialized" into a real person. Unfortunately, they then shot themselves in the foot once again.
2.) So we all know that Winter is drugging Angelina's drink. Velvet knows it. The announcers know it. The audience knows it. So, why exactly has no one done anything about this? I mean, you'd assume that someone would've gone to the police, or AT LEAST to management, right? Well, not in TNA, they don't!
3.) Velvet just kinda gave up on Angelina. She seems to be upset with her former tag partner (that just SOUNDS hot) when she should really be upset with Winter. There never really WAS a big payoff match between the two. Instead, Velvet just kind of walked away. She got mixed up in the Angle/Jarrett feud, and then ODB came out of left field to attack her. So I guess we can say the Beautiful People are officially on hiatus.
4.) If Velvet is no longer interested in liberating Angelina, why do we still have this ridiculous angle? I mean, I get that if Angelina ever "came to" she'd probably kill Winter for what she's done, but what's the point of keeping her brainwashed and chained to Winter's side if it's not to provoke Velvet? What other Knockout is going to step up and save her?
5.) Okay, so the list could go on, but just a few more thoughts: Why is it the only two people Angelina seems conscious of are Winter and whatever referee is officiating the match (she actually got out of the ring before the five count during their last tag match when the ref threatened to disqualify her)? Also, are we supposed to believe that Angelina is in this state seven days a week? I mean, how does she get to the arena? How does she eat? How does she dress herself? How does she remember her training when she's in the ring?
I understand that not every wrestling angle but there's so many holes in this storyline I don't understand how it can possibly still be on television. It's simply insulting to the fans' intelligence, and not just the so-called "smart marks" out there. It's insulting at the most basic of levels, and it only gets worse from there.
But hey, at least she can wrestle.
WINTER W/ANGELINA LOVE VS. TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPION MICKIE JAMES
Winter comes out to her creepy entrance music with her zombie pet, Angelina. Then comes Mickie James: TNA's poster Knockout. Mickie's done a great job of transitioning from one of WWE's top divas to a TNA mainstay. Her connection with the fans is remarkable considering people have a rather low tolerance for women's wrestling.
In this match she manages to snag a solid victory against her enigmatic adversary, even with Zombalina on the outside.
WINNER: TNA Knockouts Champion Mickie James
So now we're back with Abyss who's preparing for his match against Kendrick. He's reading now, and he's picked a classic: "The Art of War." Apparently, he's also learning a lot, and he wants us to know that, because he keeps quoting from his latest tome. It's easy to see how these principles translate to success when it comes to the wars of the ring, but I could do without the preface, "Sun Tzu says," before EVERY enlightening lesson. Also, reading it straight from the book during your promo doesn't exactly demonstrate an intimate knowledge of the text.
Anyway, just as he's heading to the ring he gets jumped from behind and gets a taste of his own medicine when he's assaulted with his beloved "Janice."
TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION "THE MONSTER" ABYSS VS. BRIAN KENDRICK
Abyss comes to the ring in bad shape. He limps his way down the ramp to meet the erratic Brian Kendrick.
It looks like Kendrick has things well in hand until Abyss manages to use the ref as a distraction while he knocks Kendrick off the top rope. Then it's just a matter of turning his victim inside out with a Blackhole Slam for the win. Afterwards he manages to work in a quote from "The Art of War" into his use of the ref as a human shield. Short, sweet, and to the point. I like it.
WINNER: "THE MONSTER" ABYSS
You probably think now that the match is over we'll probably go backstage to some interview segment. Well, you're kinda right. We flash quickly to Kurt Angle who's telling us that tonight he will not be focused on Jeff Jarrett for a change. Instead, he's got RVD to worry about. Should be a great match, and TNA does a great job of hyping us for it. After this very brief, very concise discussion, we're back in the ring for more wrestling. I wish 70% of pro wrestling promos were paced like this.
TNA WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
TNA WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION GUNNER VS. ERIC YOUNG
Eric Young comes to the ring wearing the TV title, but it should be noted this match is merely a formality as Gunner never actually lost the championship. As a matter of fact, I'm not exactly sure why this match is even happening. If Gunner never lost the title, why does he have to compete in a match to get it back? No one seems to know the answer, but I wonder how many people asked the question.
True to his word, EY goes down the second Gunner touches him. Unfortunately for Gunner, the second he hooks the leg, Young rolls him into a small package for a shocking quick three count! Young springs to his feet in surprise, as Gunner takes a moment to comprehend what has just transpired. When he realizes he has been officially dethroned as the TV champion, he begins to chase Young around the ringside area, but is unable to catch him before the new champ disappears.
This was a shocking upset and a nice reminder that anything can still happen in wrestling.
WINNER: NEW TNA World Television Champion Eric Young
Okay, so now we have the main event. Jeff Jarrett heads out with Karen to the announce table, and we all know what that means...or do we?
KURT ANGLE VS. ROB VAN DAM
Okay, so I have mixed emotions about this. First the good:
The match itself was great. Fast-paced action, with RVD and Angle giving everything they've got right out of the gate. You could see they were going hard and fast, and it made for one great match (if a bit short). This is network television, so it's not like they're going to take a long time to slowly build the match to a quicker pace. It was about ten minutes long, but you got everything you paid for in those ten minutes. Definitely main-event worthy.
Van Dam seemed to have everything well in control through the first 2/3. Kurt got a few suplexes in and managed to counter some of RVD's offense, but for the most part RVD was completely owning the Olympic gold medalist. Rolling Thunder, spinning heel kick, every trademark RVD could whip out was dished out to perfection.
Then RVD gets a little cocky and Angle comes up with the Ankle Lock. RVD counters a roll-through and some kicks to Kurt's head, but misses an epic 5-Star Frog Splash before Kurt slaps on the Angle Slam for the win.
Also, I have to say, it was great to see a main-event television match that ended cleanly (no obvious disqualifications or count-outs). I (and I'm sure a lot of fans) thought for sure that Jarrett would be running down to the ring to disrupt the match, but instead he was caught talking to Tennay and Tazz.
This brings me to the bad.
For a match that was flaunted from the beginning as one of professional wrestling's epic confrontations, the announcers talked about everything except the match. I mean, sure they talked about how Double-J hand-picked RVD to face Kurt, but that was more for Jarrett's ego than for the match. Tennay couldn't call anything because he was be hounded by the Jarretts. Tazz was too busy sucking up to notice there was a match going on, and Jarrett himself talked about everything from January onward. They talked about Immortal, they talked about Jeff's MMA "career", they talked about him stealing Karen, they talked about Slammiversary, they talked about everything but this match that they'd been promoting since the start of the show.
I understand that it makes for a more interesting experience when heels are doing commentary, but you do eventually have to come back to talking about the match; particularly on a show where "wrestling matters".
FINAL THOUGHTS
Overall, this was a much better show than I've seen of late. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't as frustrating to watch, either. Some truly great stuff brewing, but definite room for improvement. I hope this week's Impact Wrestling sticks to this formula, and continues to improve.
