So here it is: the traditional three-hour RAW extravaganza that's the official poster-child for Wrestlemania XXIV.
This has become more common in the past couple of years, and I'm not really sure why. It used to be cool to have a three-hour RAW, y'know, back when two hours weren't taken up by promos and pointless vignettes. Unfortunately, that has changed drastically.
The show opens with "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair calling out Shawn Michaels in regards to Shawn's presumptuous comments that, should "The Naitch" and "The Showstopper" get it on at Wrestlemania, Flair's show would be stopped. Flair says he doesn't want any sympathy from anyone, since Shawn's instincts told him that he did not want to be responsible for Flair's retirement. Shawn came out and squashed that sentiment by restating that he will be giving Flair 100% of classic HBK come 'Mania.
The whole affair was well done, but I have two major problems with it.
The first is that there's a bit too much respect flying around here. Don't get me wrong, anyone who is anyone in the wrestling industry knows that respect is due to Ric Flair above all other members of the locker room, but it makes for quite the contradiction when HBK steps out there and tells Flair "I love you" in one breath, and "I will retire you" in the next.
The second is that it didn't really amp up anything for the match. The fact that these guys are such great friends means that they can't really turn either one heel and sell it, because the crowd knows how much Flair and HBK respect the hell out of each other. The whole angle has not been played out to capacity by any means, as pointed out by men like "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, who said simply: "This is Ric Flair" we're talking about. This should be the main event at Wrestlemania, and will end up beneath both World Title matches. It's lucky to make it that high and I'm sure it's due more to Shawn's involvement than Flair's since Flair was left completely off the broadcasted card for Wrestlemania 23.
All in all, this has potential, but unless they blow the hell out of it in the few remaining weeks until the event, it will be severely underplayed. The match will be great since it involves two of wrestling's greatest performers of all time, even though both reached the peaks of their respective careers several years ago.
Next we have Randy Orton who has been dubbed General Manager for the night in the continuation of the RAW's Triple Threat Takeover. Orton plays it smart and pits HBK against Wrestlemania 23 opponent John Cena (who was victorious over Shawn at that outing) and declares that Triple H will face Wrestlemania XV opponent, Kane. Meanwhile, the Champ himself takes the night off.
In keeping with the Wrestlemania Rewind theme, a Casket Match was signed between Wrestlemania 22 opponents The Undertaker and "The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry. This match was short, and had a rather abrupt ending which, if I recall correctly, saw no Tombstone Piledriver or Chokeslam. I'm looking forward to watching "The Deadman" face Edge at for the World Championship on March 30, and although most people would agree that a 16-0 Wrestlemania undefeated streak for 'Taker is a foregone conclusion, the big event always brings the question of just who, if anyone, will be able to finally keep "The Phenom" down when the lights are on brightest.
I actually felt bad for the beating Mr. Kennedy suffered at the hands of Finlay. After JBL cut a promo via TitanTron about the "Belfast Brawl" scheduled between he and Finlay at Wrestlemania, the fighting Irishman snapped and went to town on Kennedy with his shilelagh. This was fine and actually brought some credibility to the angle after that god-awful "attack" by JBL on a bed-laiden Hornswoggle last Monday. My problem came when Finlay, after being restrained by three refs while Kennedy was being escorted from the ring by two more, proceeded to snap again and continue his assault.
Now, most of our fans will find that there is no love lost between themselves and the man with the microphone, but that's not the issue. The issue is this: Finlay's rage had already subsided. His first act can be taken as involuntary, almost instinctive, because of the threats of JBL and the convenience of Kennedy's pressence. Finlay could almost go the William Regal or come out on RAW next week and apologize publicly for his actions, thus remaining a face, giving JBL a chance to interrupt and do a typical heel promo on the innocent face.
But this is ruined by the second attack which is assumed to be voluntary, and that is key because good guys do not voluntarily attack innocent men (Kennedy being innocent in the context of the storyline). Wasn't JBL's attack on Hornswoggle last Monday, however brutal (as much to watch as it was to experience), an attack on an innocent man? What then, is there left to separate the good from the bad? Who now do we cheer at 'Mania? We are expected to cheer for Finlay and boo JBL because...well...because he's annoying, really, not because he's done anything that Finlay hasn't. The only excuse Finlay has now is the adolescent idea of "he made me do it" or "he did it first!" That's not exactly solid storytelling when you're trying to build a 'Mania worthy confrontation.
Finally, the does nothing for Kennedy and his entry in the Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match at 'Mania. This is the time where all the stars involved need to be pushed as hard as possible so the buy rates will go up. By burying Kennedy tonight, you've alienated all the fans who were looking to buy 'Mania on the chance that Kennedy might walk out of his match a winner, but with the obvious push of Chris Jericho and Jeff Hardy to the top of that ladder (pun intended), there's hardly room for someone who should've had his push six months ago.
And speaking of those two men, Jeff Hardy and Y2J faced off in a match for the Intercontinental Championship. This was the best match of the night: quickly paced with countless near falls throughout. Both men hit and missed their finishers, with Hardy avoiding the Walls of Jericho and turning into a small package roll up while Jericho would push off the Twist of Fate and follow up with a Lionsault. The words "We have a new Champ!" actually left the lips of commentator Jerry "The King" Lawler after one of these near falls, and he quickly retracted them when he realized the match must continue. In the end, Jericho hit "The Codebreaker" to win the match and end Jeff Hardy's six-month plus reign as Intercontinental Champion. For those of you, keeping score at home, Jericho has now broken his own record for most Intercontinental title reigns in WWE history (8).
Well, this either means they took the strap off Hardy to prepare him for a new title, or that they are ditching Hardy completely. I tend to lean towards the second theory, since they could very well wait until after Wrestlemania to take his Intercontinental title away if they wanted to give him the WWE Championship.
As much as I love to see Chris Jericho with some gold, the fact that he has now broken his own championship record will only lead him further astray from what fans really want: a Jericho WWE title run. Instead he winds up with the mid-card title, which is exactly where he was before he left in 2005. Sorry, Jerichaholics, but there seems to be little or no hope of seeing this star as World Champion again...
To RAW's credit, there was little to no backstage vignettes. All three members of the Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania XXIV were interviewed. Triple H's was surprisingly, and refreshingly, short. Nothing new, but not too long. Instead of the usual fifteen minute monologue, we got a very nice, short, sweet, and effective promo that ended simply with: "Cena, Orton, game on." Nicely done.
Cena put out his usual speech about how his injury made him realize how badly he wanted the spotlight again and how hard he worked to get back to it. Now he's more focused than ever on becoming champion again. He talked about how much he respected Randy Orton's accomplishments (he respects the guy that kicked his father's head in just four months ago...) and Triple H's intensity, but he's going to be champion again.
Orton's promo was the longest, but that's not to say it was too long. He called out a bunch of attributes of Triple H and Cena and claimed he was the combination of all three of these, only he had one thing they didn't have: the title. Once again, it was slow, scripted Randy Orton rhetoric, but one of the more effective of his promos.
These were short promos that didn't take up too much TV time. If you fast forwarded your DVR for two seconds, they're gone, so I didn't mind them and actually enjoyed them. There was also an effective Kane promo in which Orton tried to get Kane's anger toward "The Game" rekindled, and Kane grabbed him by the throat and told Orton that the last thing he needed regarding Triple H was a history lesson. Again, very short, very effective. He's angry. We get it. He's going to unleash years of anger. Perfect. That's what we paid to see.
Unfortunately, two segments were not nearly as effective and several times the length of these promos.
The first was the appearance of Nikolai Volkoff & The Iron Shiek, whom most fans scarcely remember. So I was glad when Volkoff got his traditional heat for singing the Soviet national anthem. He actually still sounds good when he sings and, if you ask me, has aged much better than his Un-American counterpart, who uttered the traditional: "Russia: Number One! Iran: Number One! USA: aakkk-tooey!"
Then the U.S. Express, comprised of Barry Windam and Mike Rotunda arrive on the scene and it suddenly dawns on me that they are indeed here for nostalgia, but in the form of an actual wrestling contest as an omage to their confrontation at the very first Wrestlemania in 1985.
The cold hand of dread suddenly grips me tight as I try to picture a match between such relics. All due respect, they are not required to wrestle. Their appearance alone would have been enough to satisfy the foggy memories of the inagural event. Then Jillian Hall comes in to save us from this nightmare (or to enhance it). She wants to sing "Born in the U.S.A.", the song used as the U.S. Express' entrance theme back at Wrestlemania I. She does a terrible job and is given an airplane spin and rolled out of the ring.
That's it.
That's the whole segment. Russian Anthem, U.S. Express, Jillian Hall, airplane spin. The End.
Even now there is a line in the lower left corner of the WWE RAW results page that reads: U.S. Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff & The Iron Shiek (no contest).
It did nothing for Wrestlemnia XXIV. Hell, I doubt it did much for fans who were around for Wrestlemania I. It did NOTHING. It's ten minutes of my life I will never get back, and I have nothing to show for it except the last few paragraphs. Is this why we extended RAW to three hours this week?
The second pointless segment was the Floyd "Money" Mayweather and Big Show weigh-in. For anyone who is curious, Mayweather clocked in at 159 lbs. and Big Show clocked in at 448. Mayweather was accompanied by his usual posse, and Big Show countered with a posse of his own, comprised of members of every WWE roster (RAW, Smackdown, and ECW). After the weigh-in, as Mayweather attempted to leave, Big Show attacked him, leading to a brawl on the outside between the two sides. Finally Mayweather was tossed over the top rope and appeared to hurt his elbow on the fall. Shane McMahon was also knocked off his feet on the ramp as they made their way to the back.
What I like here are two things: a.) that they didn't try to play Mayweather as a face, and b.) that the $20 million payday for Mayweather was brought into the mix.
WWE finally got the hint: wrestling fans don't like non-wrestlers stealing their heroes' spotlights. Mayweather's promo last week was awful, and fans knew it. He also comes out with a posse, something that's reserved specifically for heels in the wrestling industry. Despite Big Show's efforts to help put Mayweather over as a face by attacking Rey Mysterio and a Mayweather look-alike, Mayweather turned heel, primarily in light of the $20 million price tag WWE placed on him.
I won't go into detail about how insulting that is to WWE veterans, much less to every other member of the roster and WWE business in general. To people outside the industry, wrestlers become millionaires over time, and only a few work with garunteed contracts. A $20 million payday is unheard of in the wrestling industry. To put things in perspective, Hulk Hogan made a few million dollars off his contract in WCW, which was garunteed for several years...YEARS, not days, and that had fans up in arms. When Mike Tyson was brought in to work with Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin at Wrestlemania XIV, he was allegedly given $4-5 million for his appearance. You can imagine the outrage by the rumored $20 million offered to Mayweather.
This of course is now a prominent feature of the revamped storyline, and I actually like the heel turn for Mayweather. It reminds me of Tyson's DX turn back in 1998, and it gives fans the chance to boo him due to his money, or cheer him because of his underdog status in the match. They also haven't made any big attempts to turn Big Show face, which is nice because he keeps his tenacity and the freedom to do whatever he wants (storywise...)
My theory is that Vince invented the $20 million figure to spark controversey for the match which up until then had receieved little to no publicity from any major media, including the newspapers and ESPN. He knew it would get the fans riled up, but since finances of that nature are rarely discussed publicly with media or even other talent, I doubt it's genuine. In any case, the image of Mayweather throwing hundred dollar bills at Big Show's feet will certainly get someone's attention.
But the thing is, the segment didn't really DO anyting new. They got into a brawl. Well, a brawl is what started this whole thing: that's how Show's nose got broken. So now we need something more than a brawl. We don't need to know their weights, and we don't need to cut anymore promos. We need to see Big Show decimating the smaller men in the locker room and we need to show wrestling fans what an undefeated boxer can do. This was another excuse for a three hour show, and it failed to do much as far as hyping the match.
The Kane vs. Triple H match was standard fare. Of course, Triple H goes over. 'Nuff said.
Ashley Massaro is injured, so her planned match for her and Melina from Wrestlemania 23 was scrapped. In its place Melina was put against Maria in light of their upcoming Bunny-mania match in which Playboy covergirl Maria will team up with fellow covergirl and former Women's Champion Candice Michelle against former Women's Champion Melina and current Champion Beth Phoenix.
The match was interrupted by Santino with his own copy Maria's magazine which he used to distract her and allowed Melina to pick up the win. Why Candice didn't do anyting while she was there on the outside is beyond me, but at least all participants for the Wrestlemania match were involved.
World Heavyweight Champion Edge faced off against ECW's C.M. Punk in a non-title bout that saw Edge use the distraction of the Major Brothers to pick up the win. Punk had Edge set up for the GTS when one of the Major Brothers got up on the ring apron to distract him. Punk knocked him down and was moving across the ring to deal with the second brother when Edge took him out with a Spear. I'm not exactly sure what Punk has to do with Edge's World Championship match against The Undertaker, but at least there was actual wrestling involved here. Aside from the horrible Vicky Guerrero storyline, Edge is a great talent for Smackdown and one of the best in WWE.
RAW General Manager William Regal brought out Umaga as the man who will take on Smackdown's Batista in a battle for brand supremacy at Wrestlemania. Batista soon followed out and the two exchanged blows before "The Animal" was able to Spear the "Samoan Bulldozer" out of the ring.
I really hope this match leads to a combination of the brands in the coming months. With men like Flair, Hornswoggle, and Finlay constantly jumping ship from one show to another, it's clear WWE is desperate to fill their five hours of weekly programming (not including pay-per-views). All brands are featured at every Pay-Per-View, so there's really no point in having them separate anyway. Plus it will help strengthen each division, so titles may actually mean something.
Finally we have the rematch between Cena and HBK. Cena came out to his normal rain of boos, and he and HBK attempted to remake the classic they had at Wrestlemania 23. I don't think they were as successful as they hoped they'd be. The match was slow paced, and though it featured some solid wrestling, it also featured a young talent and a man who's entire career has been molded by speed and agility. Standard stuff, with attempted finishers and submissions. HBK hit a springboard crossbody off the ropes and proceeded to beat on Cena before Orton attacked him from behind and beat the hell out of Cena himself...or at least tried to. Instead he tried to RKO Cena on an open chair while Cena reversed and threw Orton on it instead (he'll have a history of back problems after that...) Finally Cena F-Ued Orton for his trouble and was left standing tall as we headed to the back where Triple H told us that he'd be in control next week on RAW and that he had plans for Cena and Orton--not as opponents, but as tag team partners.
Their opponents?
The entire RAW roster.
Of course they save "The Game's" reign as General Manager for last because he always gets the last laugh. He'd find some way to outdo what Orton and Cena had done, so he used, quite literally, everything...or rather, everyone at his disposal.
Should be interesting...
